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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

1008 replies

tori32 · 21/02/2008 21:46

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

OP posts:
NiceTry · 21/02/2008 23:56

HatWoman Childminders do not 'love' their mindees they may be extremely fond of them but very few form lifetime relationships with them that parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles have.

Hey it would be boring if we all had the same views, there is a lot of anger and indignation on this thread. If you are happy with your parenting choices why do mine offend you.

I suspect that most people who share my views ( or some of them) would not voice them because it is un PC. Many working mums would prefer to have the option of not working and spending all day with their children - I know because they have told me.

hercules1 · 21/02/2008 23:57

I am sure a lot would rather be at home but several people here have also told you they wouldnt.

Quattrocento · 21/02/2008 23:58

I often say that I'd love the opportunity to sahm

I don't mean it though - I just want the sahms not to feel threatened

scottishmummy · 21/02/2008 23:58

wrong way off the mark there NiceTry. i would hate to be a sahm.dont assume we all ache for it

Sycamoretree · 21/02/2008 23:58

Oh lordy Nicetry - I wanted to be a mum because I KNEW I WOULD BE THE BEST FUCKING MOTHER TO EVER WALK THIS EARTH AND I BLOODY WELL AM. I have put two spectacular children on this earth who are smart, funny, beautiful, well adjusted and exceptionally happy. And it's not down to my nanny, or my mother, who have both cared for my LO's. My DH is ONLY JUST becoming a SAHD, so please don't "let me off the hook" because at least one of us has been at home. Thus far, we haven't.

I did confuse you with the OP - sorry.

bethelsie · 21/02/2008 23:59

Im trying really hard not to be rude. Why on earth would you tori post something like that, when anyone with half a brain would know that obviously the parents want a couple of hours to themselves and what is wrong with that. You are only posting to be judgemental. You could be posting about me, are you my childminder, i hope not. I love that feeling of sitting down for a nice cup of coffee in peace before having to pick my child up.(when i get the chnce to finish work early) heaven.

dingdong05 · 22/02/2008 00:00

Hey there mrsruffallo, man, I am glad you are here... I've not been on the red wine, but I'm not wired enough to get as cross as everyone else is.
You're like a flag of sanity

shinola · 22/02/2008 00:00

no they wouldn't!!! I'd go mental!!! I love him but that is not all I am

hey - any dads on here debating this? No! all choices valid and it don't mean you love them any less

maybe you dont enjoy work, maybe having a child is what you need to validate you, maybe you bloody love your job and your life outside the home and the baby is first equal - all good

can't beleive this argument keeps happening

mrsruffallo · 22/02/2008 00:00

I think most would like to be with their very young children more ime but it is not always possible, esp for single mothers who would have to go benefits if they didn't work.
And you wouldn't want that now would you Quattro?

Sycamoretree · 22/02/2008 00:02

LOL Quattro.

Nicetry - you opinions offend because you are being judgey pants. We are reacting to being judged. I don't judge you for staying at home (well, not to your face anyway )I would ideally like to work 4 days and stay home Fri, Sat and Sunday. That's me being honest. But I can't - my job cannot accommodate it. And yes, my job is really fucking glamorous, and I meet loads of famous people and they basically have to do what I say. So yaboo sucks to you!

mrsruffallo · 22/02/2008 00:02

Thanks ding dong, right back at ya

Quattrocento · 22/02/2008 00:02

Nope - you got me bang to rights there - nope - I like the idea that people provide for their own children whenever they are capable of doing so. And having a child does not amount to an incapacity ... though sometimes it feels like it

NiceTry · 22/02/2008 00:03

What's wrong with being judgemental? Everyone is to greater or lesser degree. Some privately, some publicly. I do judge mothers who choose to work rather than care for their baby I think they have made a poor parenting choice but who cares it is only my opinion.

People will probably 'judge' me for my posts. I don't care!

Surely AIBU threads are about judging otherwise whats the point in asking the question!

hercules1 · 22/02/2008 00:04

Nicetry, no one has judged you back. We could do but that would be impolite.

BroccoliSpears · 22/02/2008 00:04

I don't work and my child doesn't go to nursery. I think she'd probably quite enjoy it, and I'd quite like her to have a couple of mornings a week so I can spend time with the new baby. We just can't afford for her to go to nursery. End of.

Reading this thread has made me realise how "lucky" I am to have one of those children who will allow me to get the shopping and cooking done while she's around. Gawd knows what we would have done if I'd been unfortunate enough to get one who wouldn't put up with it.

Quattrocento · 22/02/2008 00:05

But NiceTry, I don't judge you for living off other people and being a general layabout doing the school run in pyjamas? Why should you judge me for being a hardworking type>

Sycamoretree · 22/02/2008 00:05

Mrs Ruff - I think you must be coming from wierd place where you think the only reason you would go back to work is if you are a single mum and would be on benefits otherwise. I earn 3 times my DH's salary...that's why I go back to work. Oh, and the glamorous stuff, as stated very subtly in my previous post

KristinaM · 22/02/2008 00:05

nicetry - lots of stay at home parenst woudl love to work and have the option of not spending 168 hours a week with their children. i knwo because they have told me.

NiceTry · 22/02/2008 00:06

Sycamore Tree, you have 'judged' me to be a SAHM and I am not I work three days a week.

scottishmummy · 22/02/2008 00:06

actually you are judging the salaried parents who pay you then -mmmm nice you must be really two faced all sycophantic smiles for parents when they drop children off, then bad mouthing them, and judging them in their absence. shocking

Sycamoretree · 22/02/2008 00:06

LOL again Quattro - please keep 'em coming.

Original poster
tori32 · 22/02/2008 00:07

Sorry long thread now I know but just to refresh the OP was why parents, when they get chance to finish work early, don't they pick up DC's, not why people don't stay at home with their kids. Just why they don't make the most of the time with kids if finished early from work.

OP posts:
Sycamoretree · 22/02/2008 00:08

Yeah, you stay at home 2 days!!!!! You big, lazy SAHM for 2 days you! Tee hee.

Sycamoretree · 22/02/2008 00:09

Yes Tori - we know. I bloody answered that like 50 frickin' posts ago....

Quattrocento · 22/02/2008 00:09

Tori - there are lots of posts explaining this.

What part of "the parents need a break" and "who are you to judge" do you not understand?

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