Baby name entitlement

[Pregnantforwaytoolong]

My sister and I are both pregnant. I’m due about a month before she is, she’s having a boy, we’re waiting til birth to find out.

Initially she told me a boys names she’d like to use so obviously I took that off my list. However she now keeps adding to her list and we’re up to about 6 or 7 boys names that’s she considering and I’m guessing doesn’t want me to use. She hasn’t directly said it’s heavily implied. Such as randomly testing ‘oh btw we also like Jack’ for example, I’ll say ‘oh yea we also like that one’ and she’ll reply ‘well we’re not sure if we’re going to use it yet’ 👀.

As we’re not sure what we’re having, we’re thinking about naming baby after my mum if we have a girl. Sister also isn’t keen as ‘is that fair, then yours will be the favourite’.

I feel this is getting a bit silly, one name of she’s really likes it and doesn’t want us to use , fair enough, but after that she just needs to accept what we call our baby even if it’s on her ‘possibles’ list. There are a couple I really like and liked before she ‘claimed’ them.

on the other hand they’re are still
plenty of other names??

AIBU?

Also is it worth discussing or just dealing with any fallout if/when baby arrives?

Everytime she says a name she likes, say you like it too. Maybe she will choose to stop talking about it.

If you're having the baby first then you technically get first dibs of any names anyway. She can't claim every single nice boys name. She is probably panicking because you're due first.
I bet she picks a shit name anyway that you wouldn't of even chosen.
When I was pregnant by 8 months I had whittled my names down to 2 of my favourites anyway, so maybe by then she might've aswell.
I had a girl, but before we knew what we were having, I had 3 favourite boys names, I told a friend who was due a month before me, and she ended up using two of them as a first and middle name 😂

If you really wanted to discuss it with her beforehand you could tell her to pick her 2 favourite names, but after that sorry all names are fair game. But even at that, that would be you being very nice to her and not something you should have to do at all. Defo use your mams name if you still want to if its a girl.

This is probably quite outing but I was pregnant at the same time as DP’s SIL. She was 8 weeks ahead of me and she knew she was having a girl, whereas we kept the gender a surprise.

We didn’t discus names with anyone other than to say “it’ll not be anything weird” and that I was keen it would be a name that would work when they were both a child and an adult. So not a “Marjorie” 🤣

We had settled on a girls name “Great Granny 1” and middle name would be “Great Granny 2”. We again didn’t tell anyone but lo and behold, SIL has the baby and names the baby after “Great Granny 1”. I was really upset, but not as upset when I learnt that the child wouldn’t be known by that name… she would essentially be known as a derivative of that name which in its own right was a name (think Harry, coming from Harriet or Cathy from Catherine).

The hormones drove that madness for sure, and I was devastated but I felt I couldn’t say anything because 1. We didn’t know what we were having and 2. We were due afterwards.

So my advice to you, respect the first name she told you and just forget the rest were ever mentioned by her to you. She does not have a monopoly on names and she will eventually get over it.

FWIW I ended up having a boy, and he was named after his maternal great grandfather and his paternal grandfather, which really touched both families.

Stop talking to her about names.

Your baby is coming first, you name them whatever you want.

What would happen if you said to her next time it comes up “why is it you think that every name that you and I both like should be reserved for your potential use? Don’t you want me to name my baby a name I really love? You’ve reserved 7 names already but not once said yes i really like that name too but I won’t use it if you like it so much “. In a gentle way but it might make her realise how selfish she is being

This or at the very most two if they are family names of her partner

If there’s a name she’s always liked and always dreamt of calling her child you’d be unreasonable to use it. Any other names can’t be bagsied. She sounds like a nightmare!

I wouldn’t discuss names with her at all!

I would simply say, “We don’t want to discuss names so that both the sex and name is a surprise to everyone’… and then politely ask her to respect the fact that if yours turns out to be a boy she can’t ‘claim’ ten names when her kid will only actually have one!! Maybe say to her can you decide on ONE name please so that we can actually have a nice name for ours if it’s a boy too!… state that you have a few favourites and you’re not crossing them all off because they’re a ‘maybe’ for her son!

Personally I would just tell her to either not discuss names at all so you can’t be accused of using ‘her’ name…. Or she has to pick ONE not ten…. Or the other option is for you and your partner to just decide what your favourite name is and just say ‘if ours is a boy WE ARE HAVING “James Robert’ or whatever…. And quite simply since yours is first it’s just too bad!

Also the girls name being your mums name is lovely… it won’t make the baby a favourite, your sister is very immature and needs to grow up!! Being pregnant together should be a lonely thing not a competition or something to be jealous about…

when I was pregnant we had our boys name and our girls decided…. My cousin was quite far behind me and announced she was having our boys name for her son… I just smiled and said ‘ooh Nan might have two great grandsons with the same name’ (I certainly wasn’t changing our name choice for her as it would’ve been after my ex’s grand father.. whereas the name had no significance to her other than ‘she liked it!….. Anyway I had a girl and she ended up choosing a different name entirely anyway!

Don’t change your choices, decide what you’re having and stick to it!…. I bet if she has a girl next time she’ll have your mothers name if you don’t !!

This made me laugh WAY too hard!

OP--name your baby what YOU want. I think, that if you have a girl and name her after your mum, that would be a great honor. Use your name as her middle name, if they go together at all.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have an easy delivery and a wonder rest of your pregnancy.