Teen and her prom dress

[Promdressproblem]

My dd has her prom next week and she's tried her dress on this week and it's too small . She's been overindulging herself recently with iced coffees , crisps , chocolates, she has put on weight very quickly. She's quite curvy carrying her weight on her legs and shoulders and she can't zip it up .

So I asked her to basically go on a diet , go swimming , she has a proper swimming pool in the garden , explaining to her we can't just order her a new dress in a week so she thinks we can just take it to a seamstress ... taking NO responsibility to lose this weight so she can get Into the dress. Infact ignoring there is an issue .
However I explained to her sbout how much weight she's putting on is an issue too and perhaps exercise and diet wouldn't hurt her ..

She also doesn't live with me and her family are basically under the impression that if her dress doesn't fit, she's not willing to lose weight and try to get the dress to fit that I'm basically pampering her if I try to find a new dress rather than make her take the consequences...

I feel her prom is the most important day so far and I feel like she's almost being body shamed at 16 for putting on weight . I get it , she's been over eating and should face consequences for that but surely not at the expense of her prom ?

I can't see the wood for the trees right now coz I want to pull out a new dress at the last second rather than have her disappointed but her family don't seem too happy with that and want her to realise you've got to put effort into everything you want in life.

She's a size 12-14 not massive but she has had a lot of negativity (not from me) around her weight recently and I worry this could spark eating issues with her so for the sake of £50 and getting her a new dress I wonder if it's worth it?

Or am I infact bailing her out again and instead she needs to face the consequences of over eating and potentially miss her prom ?

Voting ... I'm being unreasonable she should miss the prom due to her not taking responsibility

I'm NOT being unreasonable... just buy her a new dress !!

I'm confused you say she's your daughter and then talk about her family. Tou then say she needs to take responsibility and can't get a dress at the last minute then say that her family don't agree and don't think you should buy her a dress and feel she's being body shamed and want to get a new dress. Which is totally conflicting to your first part of your post??

Behave. Buy the girl a new dress that she feels lovely in. Needn't cost much, charity shops full of them, Debenhams, coast etc could be about £50.

Just get her a new dress. Its not that big a deal.

Make the dress fit.

Unless you want to give her a complex for life- she's not done it on purpose to spite you. She's growing into a woman.

Jesus!

no one should have to diet just to fit in one dress. get a dress that works for her and sell the other one.

She's not going to lose weight to fit into the dress in time for next week?!

Buy her a new dress

There would be quite a lot of reasons for weight gain, and I'm betting 101 of them are exam anxiety. Just tell her to look on Boohoo and order something quick that you can bling up with a sparkly belt. That's what we did when my dd decided she felt crap in her outfit - 3 days before prom!
The family are putting too much pressure on her, and trying to crash diet into a dress with a family pushing her along is desperately unhealthy, it could lead to a cycle of binge eating and bulimia - been there, done that.

I'd buy my friends daughter a new dress in these circumstances but this is your own child?

She won’t lose that weight in a week. And she shouldn’t try to. A new dress and establishing healthier routines for the future.

Amen to this

I am confused too. It reads like two separate posts. Was it an attempt at a reverse at first ?

Weird post.

Who are you in this scenario?

Poor girl. Get her a dress so she can enjoy her prom. Stop making her feel crappy.

I’m so confused by the two halves of this post…

I don’t understand your post at all. First you say you want her to lose weight through diet and exercise and that you won’t have her dress altered or get a new one. Then you say that her ‘other family’ are body shaming her and that you want her to have a dress that fits her?

Lies getting confusing 😭😔

Buy her a new dress that she feels good in! Please don't encourage crash dieting.

By all means talk about healthy choices and minimising junk food etc, but make the focus on health rather than weight.

No one is losing more than a few lbs in a week.

This post makes no sense.
Either a wind up, a poorly executed reverse or an extremely rude mother.

I'm her mum and completely want to get her a new dress but she's in Foster care and I apparently spoil her far too much .

I will order her a new dress coz I don't agree with the situation but I was starting to feel like I'm in the wrong for wanting to make her feel special on her day .
I've asked her carer tonight if we could just buy her a dress I'll pay for it and she's read it and hasn't replied.

I have genuinely got my dds best interests at heart and this will cause a major issue me buying a new dress but I don't care , she deserves to feel special not left out and punished for putting on weight !!! I will order her something and take the consequences .

Really unclear on your actual viewpoint as initially you say you have told her to diet and exercise, then next your saying her ‘family’ are body shaming her. It sounds like that’s exactly what you are doing! This is such a vulnerable age for all sorts of reasons. Telling her to lose weight to fit into one dress in the space of just a week is incredibly unkind and unsympathetic. Cough up the money for another dress - like others have said you can find somewhere with cheaper dresses that are still prom appropriate. She needs to feel amazing at this age/stage regardless of any amount of weight gain

Nope, this post makes no sense OP.

Try again