Friend just left

[MUUVVWBS]

My friend/neighbour, who is a single mum of two young DC has seemingly disappeared. Our daughters were best friends and we helped her with lifts to the school etc and I received a text on Friday to say that her daughter wouldn't be in today, so not to worry about a lift. Fine, I just assumed she was ill. I text this morning to check if she was back in today and if she wanted a lift to receive a message back saying that her daughter isn't attending the school anymore and that they have actually moved away. What! I see this lady most days and we have had many play dates and our daughters are best friends. My little girl is so upset. Nothing has been mentioned at all about her moving away. Her house is now empty and it would appear she has done a moonlight flit. Her DC father isn't involved and hasn't been for years and there was no abuse or anything like that although I know she had a rough time when they split up and has struggled with juggling single parenthood at times. My friend has also now blocked me or changed her number. I text her sister as I was a bit concerned and she confirmed that she has relocated, far away, for a fresh start and a new life. AIBU to be quite hurt and confused by this, and just think it is a bloody odd way to go about things?

She must have stuff going on in the background. There might have been mixed feelings, or guilt and she was at her coping level, without being questioned/having to explain etc.

I’ve probably watched too much crime drama but sounds like witness protection to me!
Hope your daughter’s ok though. Sad to lose a friend with no warning.

I don't think it's witness protection or anything like that. Her sister said she just wanted a fresh start away from her memories here. Just a bit hurt I guess that she's cut me off like that.

I was thinking witness protection too. They’re not allowed to tell anyone they are going and their protection is revoked if they stay in contact with people from their “past”.

Your friend must really care about you to have risked protection by replying to the first message.

It sounds like there's maybe something relating to the ex that she's not told you.
Sounds like something that happened to me ages ago, it eventually transpired that my friend had needed to contact women's aid and they rehoused her in Manchester (we were in central Scotland)
She didn't tell anyone any of this until nearly two years later as there had been a hell of a lot going on that put her and her children at massive risk.
It's possible it's not the case with your friend but I really wouldn't rule it out.
Otherwise there's something else but I doubt very much that it's been a random move. Sister definitely knows more than she's saying.
I hope your daughter is ok, worth making school aware of how she is feeling too.

They’re also not allowed to say they are in protection. So that the sister said fresh start” doesn’t mean it’s not witness protection.

She's just upped and left

She probably has a few 'fresh starts' from time to time. Some people do

^ Yes this. Some people don't like dealing with the consequences of their actions - like saying goodbye to friends, or explaining- so they periodically do a runner. Try not to take it personally.

I would just assume she's running from an abusive partner from her past. Sad but it happens.

If it was really witness protection she shouldn't have been contacting her sister as WP the person is not allowed to contact anyone in their past life ever again. Not saying it doesn't happen but it's rare.

There could be lots of reasons but my guess is that she's been found out by an abuser. I worked with a family once where the woman left her native country with her kids in the middle of the night. Her ex found her, came to UK, broke into her house high on drugs and threatened to kill her brother in law. All in front of the kids on Boxing Day.

If she had the slightest idea her cover had been blown saying goodbye to you wouldn't be high in her list of priorities. She'll miss you but I'm sure she had to think on her feet and act super quickly

Sad for her kids if that is how she is. Tbh she has always been a bit flakey, preferred to be on her own a lot and she never used social media which I always thought was a little odd in this day in age

We were made homeless after 10 years by a greedy landlord.

People knew, but I knew the majority didn't care.

The only person that kept getting in touch was this awful mum (I'm not saying that's you!) asking when the girls were playing together again.

I blocked on her on phone, she found me on Facebook. I had to tell her that in light of a fresh start I'd rather the girls didn't see each other anymore. I felt awful but it was for the best.

I don't think even sister would know if she'd gone into WITSEC would she?

I don't know. I hope your daughter gets over it soon though. I still feel bad, but Mum was an addict and I couldn't face bringing them into our new lives.

Reading your first post I was automatically thinking running from an ex, and now reading that she doesn't use social media is leading me more to the fact that she had to leave because an ex had found her.

Don't take it personally, or feel like she's a crap person, sometimes people have no choice but to leave.

Haha just realised I wrote WITSEC. Too many American books!

It's just so odd as I felt I knew her quite well, we went out for dinner alone a few times etc. She spoke freely about her relationship with her ex and she hadn't dated anyone since then. I know she was having ongoing problems with damp in the flat and a slum landlord, but surely that's not enough of a reason to just leave without telling anyone. Her sister just said she hasn't been happy here for a long time and wants a fresh start and to leave the bad memories behind. I know she did used to pass her ex in the street sometimes and it hurt her that he ignored the kids. I get that, it's just the moonlight flit behaviour I don't get.

No social media and living a lonely life makes it sound even more like she was hiding from an abusive ex, tbh.

Hope she's ok. I'd try not to take it personally, hopefully you'll see her again one day when she and her DC are safe.

If she never used social media, then it's a pretty sure bet she was trying to evade detection by an ex, maybe the father of her child.

Maybe he was recently released from prison? Maybe she heard in a roundabout way that he was looking for her or was seen in the area.

I had a friend like this, he was running from masses of debt. Don’t take it personally

I wouldn’t take it personally, my bet is that she has not told you the full extent of what happened with his ex. No social media and keeping to herself are the sort of things that keep you safe when dealing with an abusive ex/stalker.

It could be debt I guess. I still don't think it's witness protection or anything like that. I guess I'm just a little hurt and think it's kind of shitty behaviour. All the neighbours were talking today wondering where she has gone. Feel sorry for her kids just being uprooted like that but hopefully they're all ok.

I know of her ex btw. Really don't think there was any abuse there, he's an arsehole but she has said herself he wasn't abusive and she would of liked him to of carried on seeing the kids. He disowned them after he cheated and went with the other woman.

All the neighbours were talking today wondering where she has gone.

And that is why she have not provided further details. She may trust you as a friend but it may only take a single well intentioned comment from a person who doesn’t know the details to put her in danger.

‘Witness protection’, for heaven’s sake…

I know of her ex btw. Really don't think there was any abuse there

You have absolutely no idea what anyone is like behind closed doors.

This is a very extreme thing to do. It isn't shitty behaviour at all and no need to feel hurt or make this about you OP. Clearly she has stuff going on that she couldn't discuss with you. This is more than just her being a crap friend.

It appears to me that you are just bored and looking for a bit of drama OP, judging by this you hardly knew her and didn’t particularly like her - she wasn’t a friend, just an acquaintance/neighbour. Why on earth would you be hurt that she’s left without telling you?