Please tell me some joys of living alone

[Pineappletart7]

My marriage has come to an end after my husband has been having an affair and I’ve finally plucked up the courage to leave and get my own place.
please try and cheer me up by telling me some things you love about living alone 😞

Peace. and. quiet.

Or noise if you want it!

I just walked around in just knickers to let my tan moisturizer dry.

Nothing to wake you up.

Do whatever you want all day, all weekend, always.

You can make your house completely YOU, a sanctuary of loveliness.

Living alone is the best!
I can’t ever imagine living with someone and I imagine the only positive is sharing the bills and housework (although many households don’t split this evenly anyway).

It may take you some time to adjust but I swear once you’re used to it you’ll absolutely love it.

I’d love to list all of the positives but there would be way too many.

I was heartbroken when my husband left me. I thought the world had ended on the day he carried his bags through the door and drove off. But as soon as I closed the door behind him, I went up to MY bedroom - MINE! - and assembled my new cream ironwork bed, put pink rose patterned bedding on it and wired in my new pink glass chandelier. He hated pink and would have nothing pink in the house. That was my 'F"£$ you' to him. Living alone is absolute bliss, you please only yourself and anybody else can jog on, they get no say in the matter. Good luck OP, you will be just fine.

I would love to meet someone but I would be hesitant to ever live with anyone again. (And I date women!).
You never answer to anyone. Never put up with anyone's moods, or their obnoxious friends. Never share a bathroom. Have people, inc romantic parters to visit, but no financial entanglement fuss. It's peaceful and safe. I could go on.

I love it and will never live with anyone again except my kids and animals.

It can be lonely at times, or I certainly feel that way but I base that on if I missed a loving partners who would look after me when ill, share and be caring in life. As well as it sometimes being lonely

i can decide to spend a whole weekend doing the garden because the suns out and I like doing that - I don’t have to negotiate or talk anyone into it

i can invite friends round for drinks, play dates, dinner and don’t have to inform or consult with anyone

if the house is messy only I (and the kids) have to tolerate it

equally when it’s clean nobody messes it up!

I can wash up tomorrow, or the next day. Mainly I do it there and then but there’s no need to keep up a schedule or appearances.

nobody sulks in my home anymore

nobody corrects my driving (despite my clean license and no accidents versus their quite opposite one)

I am totally in control of my own money. Yes I have less but how I spend the spare is totally my choice.

when the kids are at their dads I got for a coffee with my book for several hours - I never got a break before EVER

i have started walking and camping again. I loved both of these but he didn’t and so would never come or support it, and with 2 young children it seemed too difficult. Now we go all the time and the kids are still small(ish) but it’s no problem solo

you will choose all your holiday destinations. If you can afford it you could go away next weekend, visit family and have them to stay….no thinking of anyone but yourself

feel tired at the weekend? Go to bed and sleep, no need to drop off to the theme tune of match of the day on the tv in the bedroom keeping you awake/disturbing you

Little things they didn’t like, you can now do. For me this included bright coloured fence panels and outdoor lighting at Xmas

there will be more, plus all of the things everyone else said!

you will have been trodden down, and emotionally through the mill, so don’t expect this bed of roses initially. It can feel really hard at first as you build your self confidence again and just get over the pressure cooker of stress you have been living in but I hope these posts reassure you that a brighter, more relaxed future is ahead x x

Being able to fill your cupboard and fridge /freezer with your choice in foods. Mealtimes on your own terms and very little clearing up afterwards. Your food bill will be much cheaper. Much less laundry to do.

Don't feel under pressure to get used to it. Don't feel like you'll always be miserable because it takes you some time to adjust. It is hard at first.

But you will find your own way, your own routines, your own things to enjoy. And you will enjoy it.

Being able to watch whatever you want without someone else spoiling your viewing by enduring it critically. Long evening chats on the phone to friends without feeling you're neglecting your partner.

Doing whatever you want, whenever you want without having to explain or factoring in your partners timetable.

More space, less clutter, no overflowing wardrobe full of mens clothes & no enormous shoes discarded all over the place! No pressure to cook big meals when you just fancy a salad or something easy.

Most importantly no arguments, being on an emotional even keel rather than having your mood & wellbeing affected by another person's moods or behaviour. Feeling calm & content as a result.

Not having to compromise when it comes to home decor & purchases. Less washing, cooking & cleaning. Spending more time with friends & family.

There's loads of benefits, you'll be fine 💐

Tidy the house and it stays tidy
No one else to consider for food shopping and meals
Can leave my arts and crafts stuff out mid project without being whinged at
My friends are genuinely welcome
I can read in bed as late as I like, sleep with the light on and a meditation soundtrack
Cats - my XH refused to consider them - I now have two
Being able to decorate to my taste without him having to be consulted and disparaging every idea I have whilst expecting me to do it all
Not feeling myself tense up when I hear a car pull up outside
Fairy lights in every room

There are far too many to list. I could never live with another person again, living alone - which I have done for most of my adult life - is bliss!

House smells sweet, stays tidy, bed is huge, no moaning or griping about perfectly ordinary domestic tasks. Space gained now occupied by houseplants, eating whatever I like

I could do that one, so maybe twice, but after that I really couldn't be bothered. I'd rather have cheese and crackers and an apple. And a glass of wine.

Peeing in the gravy boat when you can't be bothered to go upstairs to the loo.

I am widowed, and of course I miss my husband, but even I appreciate sole ownership of the TV remote! All the points put forward by pps are valid no compromise, I do things my way, complete freedom.

Love this!

I'd wanted to go to Yorkshire for years but XH refused point blank.

On the day I filed for divorce I booked me and DD a gorgeous little cottage with a hot tub in Bronte country - it was so fab it's become a regular holiday destination.

I'd also never driven long distance/on motorways before as XH was such a godawful back seat driver. Now I have a lovely car (nothing flash just newish and practical in a nice colour) and I drive all over the country!

Well done you! I was the same, heartbroken when my husband left - it lasted all of a day. Many years later we are still the best of friends, but it is so lovely to be in charge of my own home again.

I am three years separated now and have stayed in our home (he moved out to our second home) and I have never been happier!

Painted the utility room hot pink!
Have over 20 house plants, inc all over the en-suite.
Everything is where I left it when I went out.
Twice as much wardrobe space - I have an 80cm rail just for cardigans 🤣
No dandruff shampoo in the shower (I hate the smell of it)!
No chest/back hairs anywhere.
I now have my own home office.
My taste in art work on the walls.
5 million cushions (he hated them).
Only doing two laundry loads a week.
The shed is tidy!
Never having to have aubergines in the house 🤮

Freedom to do exactly as you please when you want to without anyone else's judgement or input. I loved living alone. Sigh.

You will never have to worry if he is texting her, seeing her, worrying constantly, peace of mind is priceless xxx

It's natural to feel all of this even when you know its the best thing you've done. Its a grieving process and also letting go of all the built up stress before you reached this point. A type of cleansing I guess. A friend in a similar position hasn't cried or been upset. Its been 6 months. I'm waiting for the fallout whilst hoping that there won't be.

ask yourself what is so great about living with a man

not very much

its so peaceful and calm I love it

Freedom to please yourself. You can eat what you want, when you want. You can have the remote all to yourself. You can go to bed and get up when you’re ready. You can fart freely and with enjoyment.

Cats

You can fill the house with Lego/crochet stuff/books/cats delete as appropriate 😁