Please tell me some joys of living alone

[Pineappletart7]

My marriage has come to an end after my husband has been having an affair and I’ve finally plucked up the courage to leave and get my own place.
please try and cheer me up by telling me some things you love about living alone 😞

I hadn’t seen that you’d be renting for a year when I posted.

Just moved in with my DP after living alone for 15 years. I miss tv to myself and eating when and what I want. He wants a proper meal and is a terrible cook so I have to cook to eat something edible

Eating whatever you want
Total control of the TV
Having the bed to yourself
You can be a bit disgusting with bodily functions and no one to judge.
No one monitoring where you are going or whether you'd done what you said you'd do
Walk around in the nude or in your worst underwear or pjs without being judged

I ended my marriage a year ago and found myself living alone for the first time at 60. I absolutely love it. I take a drink and biscuits to bed to listen to my books if I want. The bathroom always smells lovely. I have the whole bed to myself. I've decorated how I want with no compromises. I never cook a meal if I don't want to. I can sing along to crap music and play my violin badly without anyone tutting at me. I can just sit in absolute silence without being questioned. It can be lonely now and again but I wouldn't swap it for anything. Later this year I'll be moving closer to friends and I'll have a garden again. Can't wait.

Very similar situation to you and at first it was daunting. I’m a few years in now and this is what I’ve got off the top of my head:

Go to bed when you want and have said bed to yourself. Watch whatever nonsense you want to watch without any eye rolls. Have whatever you want for dinner. Day trips / weekends away with or without kids at short notice if you fancy it without having to persuade someone else it will be fun. Not walking on egg shells. Not waiting for someone to do a job because they said they’d do it and then they don’t. Being able to pay someone to do a job and it be done straight away. Dancing round the house with your music blaring. Tidy house. Decorate exactly as you want… I got all pink bedding at first just because I could. Have friends over whenever you want.

Honestly I could go on forever. Living alone is pure bliss when you’ve lived with a useless, selfish husband. It will take time but you will get there.

It is the best thing ever.
Watch what you want on tv.
Eat and drink what you want.
Not having to listen to boring monologues about work.
No "men shit" lying about the place.
So much that's positive.

You can live exactly how you like...

Big bed all to yourself
No one wakes you up
Better sleep!
Eat what you want, when you want (and as often as you want!)
A lot less cleaning and tidying to do... It's amazing how many more hours a week you gain!
Have whichever guests over you want, when you want, for as long as you want
Everything in your home is what YOU want
Watch what you want on telly when you want
You can have whatever pets you want!
You can utilise each room however you like
No arguments, no debates, no compromising
No angry man behaviour
No unreasonable man behaviour to roll your eyes at and try to ignore
You can fill each room with all the plants you love, if you so wish
You can redecorate if you like! And it will all be to your taste
You can play whatever music you like, when you like, as loud as you like (within reason obviously, assuming you have neighbours)
You can be as lazy as you want when time allows
You can read wonderful books, uninterrupted
You can turn a room, or space in a room into an area designated for a (new) hobby
More wardrobe space - maybe treat yourself OP if funds allow ❤️
You can laze in the bath (if you have one) for as long as you want
You can wear what you want, when you want, or nothing at all and not worry about what someone else thinks or might say...

Goodness the list is endless.

I hope you find there are some things folk have suggested that will help... It's an adjustment period of course. Best wishes OP x

Oh god the boring monologues about work (or some other crap we've heard over and over and over... 🤣). I don't think i could do this living with a man business again!!

All of the above .. relying on yourself! No snoring, watch what you want on TV, realising that you actually can be an independent woman! Very empowering and that's coming from someone who never imagined she'd walk away and build a new life & home! Decor all all my own choosing, I own a drill, in fact I now own a tool box and have helpful handy men at my finger tips 🤣 you'll be fine. Dust yourself off and show that cheating tw*t what he lost. Best revenge ever.

The pleasure of silence
Being able to cook what I want, when I want, or not at all. An autumn evening in front of the log burner with just cheese, olives & a glass of wine is bliss.
Eating vegetarian occasionally without any complaints.
Painting a room any colour I choose - creative freedom
Going to bed at 8.30 simply because I'm tired
Reading a book in peace
Having the bed to myself - stretching out in cool cotton sheets
No-one snoring or getting up for the loo 5 time a night
Finding the bathroom as I left it
No pressure to keep up with the neighbours. I don't want to change my car every 2 years. I'm perfectly happy with my reliable comfortable hatch.
No pressure to drink more alcohol than I want
No whining when I do school run instead of having sex
No whining about having to take holidays when the schools are off
No-one helping himself to tools or puncture repair kits or glue or sand paper and not replacing it, so there is none there when needed.
No-one berating me for not having bought his dd a birthday present, when he hadn't told me it was her b'day.
No-one complaining at Christmas that he didn't like his present (just plain rude)
No-one criticising me for spending my money that I earned, on clothes.

God, the relief !🤗 Life is carefree

A tidy house. Choosing what to have for dinner all the time! Nobody snoring. No toilets used by men - yuck.
I hope you are doing ok - it's awful, but it won't be awful forever ❤️

Another widow here - nearly seven years now. I loved my life with my DH, every bit of it.
Would I share my home now? No. I'm very much used to my own time and spaces, though lonely at times.

I might possibly entertain a gentleman caller but nothing more.

You have 100% control over your life and decisions, so you get to do what you want to, when you want to and noone can say no!

Its the ultimate freedom one can experience and you can easily live a stress and drama free life.

I cannot remember the last time I cried or was in an argument.

It will be nice to not live in a stressful environment. I’m not a crier normally but the last few months have been hell and I’ve been crying most days. Looking forward to some peace

• No compromising
• Every thing is where you left it
• Things can be adapted around your own schedule
• Dress how you want
• Eat how you want
• Go where you want
• Talk to/Spend time with who you want
• Was as much/or as little tv/Netflix as you want /Not having to watch what you don't want
• Spend on what or how you want
• Decorate/furnish your home how you want
• Do 'nothing' if you want
• No one in your home gaslighting or devaluing you or your efforts (not saying every partner does that)
• You get to remember or learn who you are

So much more, but you will realise over time. There may be the odd bout of loneliness at the beginning of your healing...but much much more peace of mind as you begin to find yourself 💗

All of the above!
Peace.
(Even with two teens 😁)

Naps! You can have a nap on the sofa at any time and nobody is there to judge you.

Freedom to do whatever I want
Have everything cleaned and left to my standard
Less laundry
If you shop cook batch meals can work out cheaper as getting 4 instead of 2 portions for yourself so lasts longer
No feeling conscious of being too loud and waking up the other persons of vice versa
No compromising
No waiting for anyone else if need to leave the house together

Er, everything (with the exception if finances!) So...

• peace & quiet & no making inane conversation when you want silence
• no skidmarks on loo
• no loo seat up
• no smelly male stink in toilet or anywhere in house
• no shit record collection
• no dirty washing up
• your dirty washing up IF you don't want to do it
• no sharing duvet
• no-one dictating what you're watching on TV
• no taking care of big baby with man-flu
• no horrid male demanding sex

(can you tell that I am both happily single & childfree?!)...

Go for it, OP! 😘

Waking up naturally when your body decides to , not because someone next to you is snoring / coughing/ farting / insert other bodily functions.

Sorry, the formatting took away all of my list punctuation & organisation. It looked better in my version!

These are more things I really miss…

Having a spotless, clean and tidy home…. that nobody messes up.

Only feeling responsible for myself.

Decorating my home whatever way I choose.

Watching endless SATC and other such female shows (I was 20s last time I lived alone).

Enjoying a glass of wine while reading a good book or listening to music as whatever volume I want while dancing around. With no interruptions.

Having whomever over whenever I want and not having to accommodate other peoples friends that I may or may not like.

Setting my own timetable of events/hols etc.

Silence.

Endless wardrobe and bookshelf space.

Able to be engrossed in things I like for days on end.

I really loved my own space, you will too. Here’s to you and this new chapter, may it be rejuvenating, exciting and fresh. Xx

The first thing to do is something that gives you great pleasure in your own home that previously you might not have been able to do with the burden of a DH around. And maybe you can start to think of those little, pleasurable things now and post them here.

I think you'll find that, whatever they are, some here will completely agree with you as it's something they love doing too.

Lie on the sofa in your pants, eating cheese on toast, whilst warming your feet on the Ddog!

I lived on my own for 18 months before meeting my now DH and it was HEAVEN!!!!

It was tidy, it smelled of flowers and candles and I never had anyone else’s crap to clean up. I did whatever I wanted, when I wanted and didn’t have to answer to everyone. Some days I would drag my quilt down to the sofa and spend the whole day in my pyjamas eating nothing but naughty food and I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone or justify it. I was completely free to do what I wanted.

And there was nothing as blissful as having a really shitty day at work but then coming home to a silent house, it really was my sanctuary. No stress whatsoever, just me doing whatever I wanted.

God I miss living alone 😂😂😂