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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please tell me some joys of living alone

170 replies

Pineappletart7 · 12/06/2023 21:08

My marriage has come to an end after my husband has been having an affair and I’ve finally plucked up the courage to leave and get my own place.
please try and cheer me up by telling me some things you love about living alone 😞

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 12/06/2023 21:30

It’s brilliant. If you leave a place tidy, it’s still ok later. If you want to eat something from your fridge, it’s still there. It can be really fantastic as you are in control. Best wishes xx

SophieStew · 12/06/2023 21:31

What everyone already said. Plus…………….

Not having to deal with someone else’s arsehole family!!

TheMurderousGoose · 12/06/2023 21:31

Good for you, OP, for taking charge of your life! I'm sure everything feels shitty right now but it will get better.

I lived alone for years and found it heavenly. Everything is on your terms. Want to lie on the couch eating pringles and watching trashy TV instead of cooking dinner? Go right ahead. Want to decorate your home according to your tastes and your tastes alone? Go right ahead. Want to step into your peaceful home and close the door behind you after a full on weekend of socialising with friends? Yes, that bliss will be yours.

Pineappletart7 · 12/06/2023 21:31

Thanks everyone. It’s been a really traumatic few months so these are making me feel a lot better. Keep them coming please 💜

OP posts:
ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 12/06/2023 21:32

It is all about freedom and lovely if you get yourself in a routine and start fostering new friendships.

I see my house as my sanctuary, I am active at work or outside with my friends but my home is like a soothing device, either for myself at the end of a long day or when someone needs a cup of tea and a good chat 🙂

You will get to love it , but the first few months take a bit of adjustment.

poorpaws · 12/06/2023 21:35

When I first left DH I was worried I wouldn't cope. That was 30 years ago and I coped brilliantly and loved life as a single woman.

I've had a partner for the last five years, he lives a 10 min walk away and he's the most amazing man but he's not moving in here, I value my own time and home too much.

I cannot begin to explain how wonderful it is to live alone.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/06/2023 21:35

It's clean and tidy.
No one moved my things.
No one else's alarms snoozing.
Watch what I want on tv when I want it.
Have my own friends over whenever I like.
Decorate however I like.
Eat what I want and when I want it.
No one else uses up the hot water.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/06/2023 21:36

You can date and bring new sexy men home for some romance and fun 🤩 (when and if you're ready)

MagicMatilda · 12/06/2023 21:39

Omg so many things but mainly less cleaning!!

Neverknowinglysensible · 12/06/2023 21:41

The sound of silence. No being forced to hear crappy TV/audiobooks, listen to whinging about anything and everything, endure the snoring etc.
Being able to move to find a cold spot in the bed.
Keeping the house clean and tidy, but also able to leave things lying around if wanted.
Fridge full of food you want to eat, eating at a time that suits you, cooking one meal not endless variations so being able to eat it while it’s hot, not waiting patiently for others to finish.
No ironing bloody shirts!!

NobblyBob · 12/06/2023 21:42

Your home will become a place of joy. Whether you shut the door after a long day and run a bath, or invite a friend over, or fill the fridge with your favourite food, you are your priority. And the only skids you'll ever have to clean are your own 😂

Bennyjoon · 12/06/2023 21:43

It will be all yours. No hobby crap taking up space.

xyz111 · 12/06/2023 21:46

No snoring!!!! No having to get up in the middle of the night every single night to go into the other room.
No shaving hairs in the sink. No cup left on the side above the dishwasher that is empty.
I need to leave my DH 🤣

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/06/2023 21:47

I too split with my husband after he cheated, and lived on my own for the first time in 25 years. First time ever really. God it was bliss, you will learn to love it (there is indeed an acclimatisation phase - I have been there). Do what you want, eat what you want, watch what you want, decorate how you want… peace, quiet, and calm.

mildlydispeptic · 12/06/2023 21:50

I know we have a child-free mumsnetters section, but I wish we could get a solo by choice board as well. There are so many women living peaceful, contented, fun and fulfilling lives out there. And we get this question so often from people who are newly single and scared for the future. I wish more could be done to send the message that being solo doesn't mean you've lost at life, sometimes it means you've won.

Kendodd · 12/06/2023 21:52

Ooh how exciting OP!
Are you staying in your home or getting a new place?

Coronationstation · 12/06/2023 21:54

The toilet seat will always be down and no man pee splash round the edges

Pineappletart7 · 12/06/2023 21:54

I’ll be renting for a year and then buying my own place x

OP posts:
SparklyStone · 12/06/2023 21:55

I split with my exH after and affair. I got my confidence and joy for life back.

Oh and when I took the kids out for the day leaving the garage door wide open, and therefore the house to anyone who fancied coming in (thankfully no-one!), there was no one screaming at me for being so stupid 🤣. Lesson well learnt without any raised voices 😬

Margnanimous · 12/06/2023 21:55

Those beautiful plants you’ve been nurturing in the garden for years won’t be “pruned” to within an inch of their lives or pulled out as if they were weeds.
The garage/shed won’t be full of rubbish or “just in case” items.
From now on you alone dictate when people come and go in your home.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 12/06/2023 21:57

Choice of what to watch on tv

No need to share crappy snacks whilst watching said tv

Starfishing across the bed and during the hot weather once one side of the bed is too hot. You can roll over to the other side where it is lovely and cool

You don't have to listen to someone else snoring away

TheHateIsNotGood · 12/06/2023 21:57

Doing what you want when you want (notwithstanding other committments such as work and dc). Nuff said, been single for so many years now, I can't imagine that I could intertwine my life with another person again.

BeyondMyWits · 12/06/2023 21:58

As someone else said.... silence... even your head space can be empty

emotionalpuddle · 12/06/2023 21:58

You can decorate how you want, only have your own mess, your favourite food is still there when you want it! No one else controls the tv remote and you have peace and quiet whenever you want 🙈 I've been living alone since October (relationship break down after his affair). I'm so much happier living alone!

thatsn0tmyname · 12/06/2023 21:58

Your things are where you last left them and everything has its place.