To have taken the money I'm owed at work?

[Housekeeperbatcocoa]

Per my username, I'm a part time housekeeper in a private house for an older lady. I'm in my mid 20s, she's in her 60s. She is very well off and wants for nothing. (Example - she spent almost £300 on clothes in Next without blinking)

Last Wed, she asked me to take her to the park. The ticket machine for parking was broken so i paid through RingGo. It cost £4. (I'm paid £11/hr for context)

I told her how much it had cost and she said she'd give me it when we got back to the house. Reminded her when we got back and she made an excuse of having no change. I was late for the school run so had to dash off so didn't get it on the Wed. I asked again on the Thur and she made a excuse again and got a bit short with me so I left it.

Today I asked again and was again fobbed off. I know four quid isn't a lot in isolation, but it's nearly half an hour's wage so feels a lot. I'm a single parent and money is often a bit tight. I took the money from the change jar and left a note as a reciept.

I feel bloody guilty though and like i should just let it go but it's my youngest's birthday this weekend, I'm tight on money and she did honestly owe it to me.

Wibu?

You should have asked her if you could take it from the change jar - taking it without consent is theft, whether she owes it to you or not.

Of course YABU. Taking someone else’s money without permission, regardless of if they owe it to you, is theft.

I have asked her. Multiple times. And been fobbed off every time.

Morally I think you're right but you've stolen from her. You can't take something that doesn't belong to you without permission even if it is to offset a payment you are owed.

While technically it's theft, I don't think you are being unreasonable. She owes you the money and has been fobbing you off. I'm not sure what else you could have done.

Yeah she’s being a Cf in not paying you back but what you did was theft.

You cannot just take her money. You need to ask her for it, insist on it and not be fobbed off.

Irrelevant. You have stolen from her and she would be well within her rights to stop using you.

It is theft, sure deal with it and stop her fobbing you off

It is still theft no matter how you twist it

It sounds like she doesn’t have any respect for you. I couldn’t imagine expecting anyone who works for me to pay £4 of my parking costs.

Is she always behave this awful towards you? Are you in a position to look for another job?

The problem is that you've now lost the moral high ground and have shot yourself in the foot. Better to replace the money, ask her for a semi-official meeting, then sit her down and explain to her in very precise terms that the £4 may be loose change for her but for you can mean the difference between having enough to survive on at the end of the month or not.

If there is a change jar, why would you accept being fobbed off? Get the jar, hand it to her and ask for your money.

Taking money out of the jar, whether you're owed it (or not), is theft. She now has a reason to sack you, so on top of not getting your £4 (which you stole) you could also lose your job.

I think you've just sealed your own fate and would be wise to start looking for another job.

I've put it back. I felt horrible about taking it but I'm just so fed up of her letting me pay for "little" things that quickly start to add up. I reckon I'm about £30 down over this year alone and i don't know what to do about it.

If I'm firm, she gets upset and angry. If i ask for it, i don't get it back. I just don't know what else to do. I love the job otherwise but I'm fed up of payment for things for someone who has (genuinely) millions in the bank.

You’re not firm though, because you’re giving in and paying. She knows by being upset and angry you’ll just give in and she’ll get away with her behaviour.

Don’t.

Then she needs to get used to feeling upset and angry - and honestly I’d be looking for another job. She sounds awful.

@Housekeeperbatcocoa can you get another job and tell her to stuff her job and her horrible meanness? She doesn't bloody deserve you!

I've put it back. I felt horrible about taking it but I'm just so fed up of her letting me pay for "little" things that quickly start to add up. I reckon I'm about £30 down over this year alone and i don't know what to do about it

Each times she expects you to pay just say 'No, I don't have any money'.

Stop paying for stuff. Say "sorry, you never pay me back, you'll have to get this"

And be direct, show her a list of everything you owe her and give her a deadline to pay it. If she doesn't I would quit.

Do you have the receipts for the items you've paid for? I would take copies of all of them and then bundle them up and submit an invoice to her. I would point out that £30 is nearly 3 hours pay.

In future you will conveniently find yourself without cash and any app you may rely on is playing up so you can't pay.

I think when she said she had no change you could have said there was plenty in the change jar and could you take it from that and leave the ticket as a receipt.

List what you are owed, make it clear you can't afford it. Then say to her if its more convenient for her you can take it from the change jar.
And then refuse to sub her anymore

"Susan, you've still not paid me for the ringo this week or the milk last week. I paid for your bus fare last month and cleaning stuff the month before. In total you owe me £30 and I need it, is there enough in the change jar and if so, can I take what I'm owed from there?"

She can get grumpy, just stand there until your money appears!

Oh I totally understand your frustration and I am glad you put it back, but take the jar to her as pp said, and specify what she owes you in total and what for. Point out that you only get £11 an hour so all these bits of change for things means she is often technically underpaying you. If you don't do this, it will keep happening. I had a boss like this and it never stopped.

Stop paying for the things. Why is she not paying in the first place? Just keep claiming that you haven’t got the change/bank card/phones not working. And don’t pay.
Any way or preempting this? You’re going to the park? We need a way to pay ‘my apps not working’
If the ticket machine had been working how it have been paid? With her cash? Or card? You’re just going to have to be firmer and make her more aware that this money matters to you.
£4 is nothing to her. Maybe she thinks it’s nothing to you either and can’t understand why you keep asking her for it.
Be firmer or accept it as part of the job.

I have a job where I often take people places etc and they are supposed to pay. If we get to a car park and they don’t have the money we leave.

Do be careful though because it sounds very much like you need this job.