To have taken the money I'm owed at work?

[Housekeeperbatcocoa]

Per my username, I'm a part time housekeeper in a private house for an older lady. I'm in my mid 20s, she's in her 60s. She is very well off and wants for nothing. (Example - she spent almost £300 on clothes in Next without blinking)

Last Wed, she asked me to take her to the park. The ticket machine for parking was broken so i paid through RingGo. It cost £4. (I'm paid £11/hr for context)

I told her how much it had cost and she said she'd give me it when we got back to the house. Reminded her when we got back and she made an excuse of having no change. I was late for the school run so had to dash off so didn't get it on the Wed. I asked again on the Thur and she made a excuse again and got a bit short with me so I left it.

Today I asked again and was again fobbed off. I know four quid isn't a lot in isolation, but it's nearly half an hour's wage so feels a lot. I'm a single parent and money is often a bit tight. I took the money from the change jar and left a note as a reciept.

I feel bloody guilty though and like i should just let it go but it's my youngest's birthday this weekend, I'm tight on money and she did honestly owe it to me.

Wibu?

As pp have said, we have a petty cash jar for day to day; and an employer should be paying mileage as well.

Good help is VERY hard to find.

I know you've put the money back now but I think this poster is right in asking for a meeting to explain to her that £4 is a substantial amount of money to you. She probably just hasn't realised as she is obviously very well off. I can remember returning a £2 t shirt to a shop because it didn't fit and my well off ex ridiculing me for doing so because" it's only £2". I was a young single mum and every penny counted. He just didn't get it. Good luck op.

I'd be thrilled to find a good cleaner for even £15 per hour.

I would have taken it out of the jar and not left a note. She seems a very nasty person. Next time don't pay for anything just stand there until she pulls out her purse.

Remind her to bring cash/ card before you go out.

If she forgets just say « this is why I told you to bring cash/ card. I don’t have enough to pay so we will have to go home. »

Stop being taken advantage of by a stroppy rich person. It’s not OK.

Next time she wants you to pay for something, say "I don't have any money".
Every time.
she'll eventually realise no money no parking/loaf of bread/whatever you buy for her.

Cleaners get £15ph here (South East). You are being taken for a ride in more ways than one.

This is exploitation, OP. Tell her you want your money back or you won't be coming into work.

Treat her like any other CF who pulls the “I’ve forgotten my purse” trick.
Stand your ground. Say I don’t have the money. Repeat until she pays.
If you are going out to get something for her you need the money upfront.

Are you taking her out in your car?

This woman is rich because she's tight as a gnat's arse. That's how people stay rich.

And like others have said, make a list on a piece of paper of what she owes you. Ask for it. Hand her the change jar. Say breezily “I’ll take it in coins if you don’t have anything else.” Good trick is to do this at end of shift. Sit down and don’t stand up till she pays you.

If you knew she had a change jar you could have said to her “ Mrs X, do you mind if I take that four pounds you owe me out of the change jar, I’ll pop a note in there to remind you I have taken it.”

Raise your rates. And formalize the billing to include these bits and bobs on a weekly basis. Also charge interest for money owed.

This. ^ I had to do this when I worked somewhere some years ago - an eaterie - (worked as admin in the office.) The manager kept asking me to pop out here and there for bits and bobs. Paper clips, tippex, ream of paper, some chewing gum for her, some ciggies for her, and she even asked me to get her prescription - 2 items. Cost about £14 at the time. (mid noughties.)

I struggled to get ANY money back for said items, and when she kept putting off giving me the £14 for the items on the prescription (probably £20-£25 in today's money,) I gave up asking and put it down to a loss but vowed NEVER to get anything for her again. I was also racking up litres and litres of petrol that she never paid me for, running around getting stock from another branch of the eaterie (3 miles away,) once or twice a week, when ours ran out coz she hadn't ordered enough!

So every time she asked me after the non-payment of the prescription, I said 'Got no money sorry.' She said 'have you not got your debit card?' I kept saying 'left it at home sorry...' Every. Single. Time. She kept asking and asking for WEEKS and I never ever had any money. She looked so annoyed each time, when she had to reach into her OWN purse for her OWN stuff that SHE wanted!

But I gave zero shits. I was sick of being mugged off and was about £60 down at this point - over around 6 months. (Plus another £35 or so for the petrol I had used!!!) She was also annoyed she had to go to the petty cash to give me money for stationary sundries. As I kept saying 'no money on me sorry...' I didn't give a shit. I was glad to leave tbh.

@Housekeeperbatcocoa As has been said it IS theft so you were right to put it back. Even if she owes it you, it's still theft to just take it. It shouldn't be, but it is. It's vaguely similar to having a landlord who CBA to do a repair on your property, and you saying 'I won't pay the rent then!' You can't do that. They're 2 separate issues.

She lives on a 300ac estate with a massive house, owns and breeds horses, and has a brand new BMW in the garage that she paid for in cash.

I don't think you will see the £4.

Based on my childhood experiences helping in a family business, you have just described the quintessential sort who never settle their bills.

When you're working in a professional capacity all transactions, financial or otherwise, should be dealt with professionally. You should have invoiced her for the money with receipt attached (if you're self-employed) or checked it was added to your next payslip (if employed) before resorting to taking it.

Her wealth is irrelevant. Sadly if you behave unprofessionally she will treat you accordingly.

I think you need to speak to your employer to define a process for being recompensed, OP. You should not have to pay out of pocket and she should not expect this.

I would speak to her and say, for example, we need a 'petty cash' float that I can use - I'll provide receipts - or we can set you up on these apps from your own bank account and you can pay as you go.

Basically - pick your poison. She can't choose neither unless she comes up with another solution that doesn't involve your money at any time.

I always do this, give two options that I don't mind either way about and let the other person choose.

... Such is the nature of these people. I've been self-employed for 25 years and speak from experience.

Technically theft but you are not being unreasonable, at all! I wouldn’t feel guilty

Yes! This is the approach you need to take OP.

Repeat to yourself daily - 'I will give zero shits'.

Why tf is she getting you to take her to the park when she has her own Beemer which she could drive? Is she a three year old in a 60 odd year old woman's body?
And is that actually part of the role of housekeeper or are you more of a 'lady's companion'?
Whatever it is she's exploiting you and you'd be better off looking for another job. How do you manage in school holidays at the moment? Does she allow you to bring your child to work?

I hope that £4 was worth losing the job for.

Shouldn't have left a note. Ignore moralising arseholes on here. Take your £4 and next time she wants you to pay for something refuse. Cheeky fucking bitch.

I don’t see any problem here @Housekeeperbatcocoa - she has a cash jar, presumably for petty cash spends like parking. You took the money you are owed and left a note.

How is this stealing? - it’s a normal way to deal with small expenses at work.

For context I have employees at work and at home and take money from the petty cash and leave a note is what everyone still does (because not everyone has a company card etc). I would have any thought about it. To cover yourself you should email her the receipt also, and note you’ve done that on the note.

What odd phrasing. OP is owed that £4, I agree she should ask for it directly from employer, but making out £4 is a pittance is disgusting, it's money OP has earned, on £8ph.