To have taken the money I'm owed at work?

[Housekeeperbatcocoa]

Per my username, I'm a part time housekeeper in a private house for an older lady. I'm in my mid 20s, she's in her 60s. She is very well off and wants for nothing. (Example - she spent almost £300 on clothes in Next without blinking)

Last Wed, she asked me to take her to the park. The ticket machine for parking was broken so i paid through RingGo. It cost £4. (I'm paid £11/hr for context)

I told her how much it had cost and she said she'd give me it when we got back to the house. Reminded her when we got back and she made an excuse of having no change. I was late for the school run so had to dash off so didn't get it on the Wed. I asked again on the Thur and she made a excuse again and got a bit short with me so I left it.

Today I asked again and was again fobbed off. I know four quid isn't a lot in isolation, but it's nearly half an hour's wage so feels a lot. I'm a single parent and money is often a bit tight. I took the money from the change jar and left a note as a reciept.

I feel bloody guilty though and like i should just let it go but it's my youngest's birthday this weekend, I'm tight on money and she did honestly owe it to me.

Wibu?

@Housekeeperbatcocoa if she owes you c£30 that’s a lot of money. Prepare an invoice clearly setting out date type of expense and cost. Present this to her saying that you cannot afford to lose 2 and a half hours pay. Technically by expecting you to pay she may be breaching NMW regulations because you may have received less than NMW.

Going forward if she wants you to pay the answer is I’m sorry I don’t have anyway to pay, such a shame we can’t do xyz.

to be fair she's left a note explaining. Thieves dont do that do they?

I understand what you’re saying and I’m with you - but honestly, the answer is probably ‘yes’. There are no shortage of people willing to do cleaning work where I live, and the lady in the OP would be able to find a new one (who was hopefully as gullible as the last one and she could string along for bits and bobs until they caught on) by next week.

What is a housekeeper? Is it a cleaner, but with extra duties, eg driving people places?

The other question is 'are you doing this on an employed or self employed basis'? Also, have you had a pay rise recently?

If you're employed, you should be getting paid holidays and pension contributions unless you earn less than £10k pa. You're also reasonable to expect all expenses incurred to be reimbursed in a timely fashion and to have had a pay rise to at least £13 an hour.

Or if you're self employed, you wouldn't get the above, but you get to set your hourly rate, which should be more like £15-20 per hour to cover the lack of employment rights and because £11 hour is far below the going rate.

If she won't act more reasonably, I'd look into setting yourself up as a self employed cleaner/housekeeper, set your terms to value your services properly and choose more reasonable clients.

I agree with PPs; she isn't paying you enough in the first place. Nor should she be expecting you to fund her, no matter how low cost these little things are.

Because I bet the woman puts OP on the spot and has clocked OP is too nice to argue about it in the moment.

OP, look for another job today. This woman is mugging you off. Let her see if she can easily replace you ( she won’t be able to). If she begs you to stay, say you’ll consider it for £15 an hour.

Can she supply you with an expenses card? Modern day version of petty cash that's loaded up with £20 a week or whatever, so you can meet these sorts of expenses?

Oh dear - yes I know the sort only too well. They take advantage quite deliberately too. A friend of mine had a similar job with a similar type of person. She put up with it for far too long.

Please start looking for another job as she will always treat you poorly and you deserve better.

Take the money. Leave the note. I would.

I would just tell her you are taking it from the change jar, not ask as a question.

What others said: you need £16 per hour. Ask again for your money back; mention the change jar and say you would like it from there. Please tell me that you are charging her mileage if you take that mean woman out in your car?

exactly. she even left a note as an invoice.

Perhaps many here engage in the behaviour this lady engages n dont want their employees taking what they are owed

I can't believe the arseholes on this thread. Of course it isn't theft - the OP was owed the money and left a note - that is not what thieves do, FFS.

OP - you did nothing wrong, take the money back, leave a note and also tell your stingy boss what you have done so your back is totally covered. If you have to pay for anthing again, make sure you say - that is fine, i will pay myself back from the change jar, as usual. Establish the precedent so you don't get mugged off again.

I would have asked her first if you could take the money.

FYI - You are being seriously underpaid! For reference, I pay my cleaner £14 an hour. For a housekeeper, I’d expect at least £16 per hour.

I really don't want to derail the thread by posting the definition of theft but the original action of taking it was theft. However, she has now rectified that by putting it back.

Op, she sounds awful and she really should be giving you the money that she owes.

That meant to say the employer sounds awful, not the OP

I think I’d have asked her if I could take it from the change jar - she would’ve had no reason to say no and it would put her on the spot. She could view what you did as theft.

She said she would give it to you.
You left a note to say you had it.
That's not theft.

If I did this I would have printed the receipt and put it in the box and noted day taken.

For example "£4 12th June 2023 reimbursement for parking on park trip 7th June 2023."

Missing the point of the thread but I’m pretty sure £11 an hour is less than minimum wage

Stop paying for anything.

I think in future you say to her before you go out that she needs to make sure she has enough for the car park. Also don't take your purse. How are you paid? Do you invoice her? If so add it on each time.

Just leave and go and work for someone who values your service.

OP has already put the money back, but calling that theft doesn't sit well with me, at all.

I don't know what the law would say, but I can't imagine this would be classified as theft. It's such a small amount, £4 in change that was owed to her, AND she left a note to the effect that she'd taken it. Surely that's not 'theft', and her boss would be an idiot to react as though it were!

The only potential problem I can see is that it might cause someone of a suspicious nature to think, 'Wait, how do I know she only took £4? She could have taken twice—nay, even three times that much in change, and I'd be none the wiser!' and make her mistrust you in the future, but she's only got herself to blame for trying to weasel out of paying you back the multiple times you asked.

What a horrible woman, OP. How can she not understand that if you're cleaning her house, you're probably not wealthy.
Would you not explain to her that for you, that's quite a lot of money...

Either way, if you want to send me a PM and I'll give you the £4.