Page 6 | Inheritance again, sort of

Leastsaidsoonestscrewed · 2023-06-11T03:32:14+00:00

Aibu to look askance at those who leave large cash sums to adult children when they die which they could have given them during their lifetime? Not talking property here, which can always be sold to fund care. But leaving kids to fend for themselves, to go on multiple holidays or buying a holiday home instead of funding them regularly, making them wait until their fifties or even later before getting any security? Feels like peak selfish boomer behaviour to me. Surely if you have spare unearned cash from investment etc your Millennial or Gen x kids deserve it more, what with COL crisis, high mortgage rates and all?

SideWonder · 11/06/2023 12:38

CuriouslyDifferent · 11/06/2023 12:01

Why exactly do they “deserve” it?

CoL crisis? Erm, wait til mortgage rates are 15%.

Presumably these ‘boomers’ had the audacity to have children and bring them up to the point where you were able to fly the nest and create your own family?

Unearned income….. So let me get this straight, you consider investments profits unearned? You aren’t aware that most likely the seed money was taken from regular income, possibly post tax, that a bit of luck may have been involved, and your boomers didn’t spend it all on tat…. By living within their means, putting money aside, not touching it, putting up with possibly 3 recessions where employment was far more of an issue than it is now…. And finally, if somehow a magic fairy just gave them the seed money, and they got same luck with every investment they made, and still they never touched it because it’s probably going to be their rainy day fund and keep them in comfort Til their 80’s or 90’s….

I guess my point is….

Most incredibly wealthy people tend to forsee this type of behaviour from kids and the damage wealth can do to them. Middle class people tend to see wealth as inter generational via inheritance, but the reality is 90% of inheritances is gone by the third generation, as are most companies which are handed down through the generations. But ultimately, this is not YOUR money. You didn’t earn it, you didn’t save it, you didn’t pay tax on it, you just want to spend it for them to make your life easier.

If I had children like you, I’d be upfront, and let you know, that your attitude automatically disinherits you from getting it. However, given what you’ve stated already, I think your parents are probably seeing your entitlement and have already decided that they shouldn’t subsidise you on a regular basis.

I don’t know why you think you are entitled to a single penny.

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This. ^^

Excellent post @CuriouslyDifferent

Toooldtoworry · 11/06/2023 12:41

Newmumatlast · 11/06/2023 10:54

Where did you get 1mil from as this seems to suggest different

https://www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax

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In answer to this question. Each person has an IHT threshold of 325k when they die and if they own their own home up to 175k threshold for that too. If they were married and their spouse died first and everything transferred to them upon death then so does the IHT and main residence allowance doubling it to 1m (under current legislation).

On answering the @Leastsaidsoonestscrewed I don't know about you but I'm an only child born to an only child. My Nan is still alive (late 90s), my Mum is caring for her (mid 70s). Dad still alive - parents still married.

I've made some poor life choices and been divorced a couple of times so my finances are not in the best of shape, but I'm working to rectify that.

My attitude is that any inheritance will be a gift, and although I know my Nan or parents could repay my mortgage they may need it for care home costs. Plus I really wish that my parents would get Nan care so they could be free of constraints. My Mum (classed as a boomer) has worked her whole life, then helped me with childcare for my youngest, then cared for Nan. She deserves to enjoy the money she earnt.

As I will be unable to do childcare, etc for my children as I had them younger and will need to work younger I think I will pass money on to my children to make their lives easier as long as I have enough for care home fees.

Toooldtoworry · 11/06/2023 12:43

*to work longer

troubg · 11/06/2023 12:46

@CuriouslyDifferent I don't understand why you replied to my post 🤷🏻‍♀️

troubg · 11/06/2023 12:47

You not having enough shoes has nothing to do with the fact some older people have huge unearned wealth due to the distorted housing market.

ReachForTheMars · 11/06/2023 12:51

People in their 50s are not kids.

50 year olds should not expect their lifestyle to be funded by their parents.

My mum worked 3 jobs when we were little and my dad worked 2. Like fuck would I want anything from them now that they can finally enjoy their money and not worry about it.

Neither my brother or I went to uni but we are standing on our own two feet. Neither of us are working 5 jobs between us to keep our families afloat.

We both had food in our bellies and a warm safe, loving home. That's all they owed us. That's all anyone owes their kids.

Preps · 11/06/2023 12:56

we hadn’t had the massive cost of living crisis that is happening now

That's simply not true. In the years between when I left school and got married/bought my first house, unemployment was c.8%, inflation was consistently 4-5% and mortgage rates increased up to 15%.

What we didn't experience was years of stability and a complacency that there was no need to save for a rainy day.

FatCatBum · 11/06/2023 13:01

As a Gen X-er myself, I find the sense of entitlement in this post astounding (and quite revolting)

The 'kids' are actually adults who should be supporting themselves, and should not be basing their lives around their parents money.

SideWonder · 11/06/2023 13:01

Preps · 11/06/2023 12:56

we hadn’t had the massive cost of living crisis that is happening now

That's simply not true. In the years between when I left school and got married/bought my first house, unemployment was c.8%, inflation was consistently 4-5% and mortgage rates increased up to 15%.

What we didn't experience was years of stability and a complacency that there was no need to save for a rainy day.

Of course there have been previous moments that have had huge hikes in the cost of living. I can remember -as an early teen - the inflation of the 1970s (and the inflation caused by decimalisation!)

Also, as a first time house buyer, only being able to borrow twice my (low) annual income and paying up to 15% interest at one point for the privilege. House prices were lower but so were salaries. Much lower.

Some people need to have a more accurate understanding of history!

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:03

House prices were lower but so were salaries. Much lower.

I thought house prices vs salaries was a bigger gulf now?

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:05

Also didn't the inflation in the 70s lead to huge growth in wages? Not happening today

Preps · 11/06/2023 13:08

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:05

Also didn't the inflation in the 70s lead to huge growth in wages? Not happening today

Yes it is, that's one if the reasons inflation is so high. Minimum wage has increased from £7.50 to £10.42 in the last 5 years. That's huge growth.

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:15

I was talking about during the 70s.

"In the 1970s and 1980s, real wages growth averaged at 2.9%, but fell to 1.5% in the 1990s and 1.2% in the 2000s. Between 2010 and 2013 alone – while the Coalition has been in power – real wages have plunged by 2.2%."

Preps · 11/06/2023 13:21

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:15

I was talking about during the 70s.

"In the 1970s and 1980s, real wages growth averaged at 2.9%, but fell to 1.5% in the 1990s and 1.2% in the 2000s. Between 2010 and 2013 alone – while the Coalition has been in power – real wages have plunged by 2.2%."

Yes and I'm saying wage growth during the current COL crisis has been huge in comparison. I'm not sure why you're quoting 10 yo figures?

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:28

I thought todays wage growth was below inflation?

That was the most current thing I could find about wage growth in the 70s, do you have newer sources?

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:29

"In the three months to March 2023, average weekly earnings for total pay in the United Kingdom grew by 5.8 percent, while regular pay grew by 6.7 percent, when compared with the same period in 2022. In the same month, the inflation rate for the Consumer Price Index was 10.1 percent, indicating that while wages are rising, price increases are currently outpacing this growth when it comes to regular and total pay."

Preps · 11/06/2023 13:32

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:29

"In the three months to March 2023, average weekly earnings for total pay in the United Kingdom grew by 5.8 percent, while regular pay grew by 6.7 percent, when compared with the same period in 2022. In the same month, the inflation rate for the Consumer Price Index was 10.1 percent, indicating that while wages are rising, price increases are currently outpacing this growth when it comes to regular and total pay."

Yes and in the 70/80s inflation was much higher than the 2/3% wage growth you've quoted. So it's not correct to say that wages kept pace then and haven't now.

ohsuzannah · 11/06/2023 13:33

Boomer?

Preps · 11/06/2023 13:34

Also CPI measures inflation over a 12 month period and you've quoted wage growth for only 3 months, so your figures are nonsense anyway. Google has its place but you have to be able to interpret what you find, not just cherry pick the headlines.

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:35

Yes and in the 70/80s inflation was much higher than the 2/3% wage growth you've quoted. I quoted real wage growth though?

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:36

@Preps so you are saying wages now are beating inflation?

troubg · 11/06/2023 13:37

I don't think i'm the one talking nonsense...

Soontobe60 · 11/06/2023 13:43

Hopingforagreatescape · 11/06/2023 07:15

It's difficult. I am mid-fifties, my parents are late 70s. They live in a 2 million pound house with 5 bedrooms. My father benefited from free university fees and a grant, but he refused to fill out the grant forms for me when I had an unconditional offer at Durham, so I couldn't go (the rules changed in 1985 and grants became means-tested). We live in a 2 bed terrace worth about £300k in the same area as my parents. Our child is still at school in this area, but we are desperate to move to a larger house, which will realistically mean moving a few hundred miles away. Are we selfish for moving away when my parents are starting to need help/care? Our house and garden are too small to invite them (or anyone really) over for Sunday lunch, our child feels embarrassed to invite her friends here to a certain extent. We would like her to have a double room eventually so that if/when she has a steady boyfriend, they are able to stay.

You could have gone to Uni at 21 as a mature student with a full grant and more if you had children. This is what I did. theres always a way!

MillbankTower · 11/06/2023 14:07

My money isn't unearned. Never inherited a penny. Didn't have a sofa fro 2 years when I bought my 1st house.
I love my homes and worldwide travel. My children can work (they do) and but their own stuff if they want it. They can have what left at the end (which is more than I got)

Poppyhopscotch · 11/06/2023 14:09

Your thought process would potentially make sense if we knew when exactly we would die but given that we don't, how would people be able to plan for this. Giving out their money, when you don't really know how much you'll need yourself. Not withstanding the fact that it's their money to enjoy as they wish. I don't expect anything from my boomer parents. I would rather they spend their money enjoying their life now they're retired and making sure they're happy that their set for life. So yes, YABU