Inheritance again, sort of

[Leastsaidsoonestscrewed]

Aibu to look askance at those who leave large cash sums to adult children when they die which they could have given them during their lifetime? Not talking property here, which can always be sold to fund care.
But leaving kids to fend for themselves, to go on multiple holidays or buying a holiday home instead of funding them regularly, making them wait until their fifties or even later before getting any security?
Feels like peak selfish boomer behaviour to me. Surely if you have spare unearned cash from investment etc your Millennial or Gen x kids deserve it more, what with COL crisis, high mortgage rates and all?

we hadn’t had the massive cost of living crisis that is happening now

My siblings are millennials, they have defo been impacted by COL & wage stagnation over the yrs.

Jesus wept OP. I’ve worked my arse off to have the modest but good life I have now. I’m 58 and have perhaps 20-30 years of life left so I want to enjoy the rest of it on my terms funded by my money.
My SIL is like you and when my DF died, she was out with her hand out within a week of him dying. She was 45 and by then there was no reason she and my DB shouldn’t have had everything they needed. Disgusting entitled behaviour.

Feels like peak selfish boomer behaviour to me. Surely if you have spare unearned cash from investment etc your Millennial or Gen x kids deserve it more, what with COL crisis, high mortgage rates and all?

Alright, who’s got the cash in your family that you think you should get your grabby mitts on? 😆

Op you sound very entitled and grabby. Earn your own money instead of trying to get your hands on someone else's hard earned financial security.

Every other thread is a wind up - just looked down my 'Watching' threads and so many of them have been pulled.

Where did you get 1mil from as this seems to suggest different

https://www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax

Wow that is one of the most entitled posts I've read on MN for a while now! Short of cash? Take another job and stop expecting everyone else to bail you out.

I agree. The people I know who haven't gotten on the ladder didn't save income or got into debt with credit cards etc back when they were giving them left right and centre (I got letters enticing me to get one on my 18th birthday even). Its been a bit tougher for us than maybe our parents but we have also had more opportunities in other ways. The generations after me and my kids I feel sorry for and actually will be trying to save and invest to help them out.

@Newmumatlast it's all explained on your link....

"If you give away your home to your children (including adopted, foster or stepchildren) or grandchildren your threshold can increase to £500,0000_.
If you’re married or in a civil partnership and your estate is worth less than your threshold, any unused thresholdd_ can be added to your partner’s threshold when you die."

So a married couple can pass on 1m of their estate to their dc before triggering tax. I had no idea people didn't know this.

Good grief. It's their money, if they want to blow it all travelling and leave their kids nothing, good for them. They earned it, they get to decide what to do with it.

Their wealth is also their security for what they might need for old age, because no-one knows how long they will live or what needs will arise.

The mega rich might be able to help their kids more over the years without risking their own financial security, but that's not most people.

And people call Boomers greedy.

So basically you are saying parents should work hard, forgo all luxuries to allow their kids the chance to use the money? So work hard don’t play hard give the money away?

why shouldn’t parents have fun with their own money, take the chance to see the world, buy a holiday home, which no doubt they would have family use

get away with you

I would

I would but would be irked if I sensed there was expectation.

however, a friend who is a wealth manager says all the time that Boomers he deals (reasonably well off but not real wealth) with are sitting on loads of cash & shares & property theyll never spend whilst their 25-40 year old kids are working incredibly hard to make ends meet. He wishes people did better work out what their planned retirement looks like and gift away the rest.

This

I've heard it all now. Wow

No one has any idea if they’re going to spend the last 10+ years of their life needing help to live independently, which is very expensive. Or require assisted living etc in a nursing home.

YABU totally. Those "selfish baby boomers" worked for their incomes.

So quit with the envy and ageism.

Why exactly do they “deserve” it?

CoL crisis? Erm, wait til mortgage rates are 15%.

Presumably these ‘boomers’ had the audacity to have children and bring them up to the point where you were able to fly the nest and create your own family?

Unearned income….. So let me get this straight, you consider investments profits unearned? You aren’t aware that most likely the seed money was taken from regular income, possibly post tax, that a bit of luck may have been involved, and your boomers didn’t spend it all on tat…. By living within their means, putting money aside, not touching it, putting up with possibly 3 recessions where employment was far more of an issue than it is now…. And finally, if somehow a magic fairy just gave them the seed money, and they got same luck with every investment they made, and still they never touched it because it’s probably going to be their rainy day fund and keep them in comfort Til their 80’s or 90’s….

I guess my point is….

Most incredibly wealthy people tend to forsee this type of behaviour from kids and the damage wealth can do to them. Middle class people tend to see wealth as inter generational via inheritance, but the reality is 90% of inheritances is gone by the third generation, as are most companies which are handed down through the generations. But ultimately, this is not YOUR money. You didn’t earn it, you didn’t save it, you didn’t pay tax on it, you just want to spend it for them to make your life easier.

If I had children like you, I’d be upfront, and let you know, that your attitude automatically disinherits you from getting it. However, given what you’ve stated already, I think your parents are probably seeing your entitlement and have already decided that they shouldn’t subsidise you on a regular basis.

I don’t know why you think you are entitled to a single penny.

And if they miscalculate and give away too much and find themselves short? Or something unexpected happens? Then you'll see their kids posting here about their elderly parents needing help, how much they resent having to do it, don't have the time for it, can't cope - to a chorus of, "Your parents should have planned for their retirement, their responsibility, you don't owe your parents help or care."

In some cultures, there is a multigenerational understanding that all generations help each other. That is a given and it provides security for all. Our culture is more individualistic and it's not such a given often.

Erm, wait til mortgage rates are 15%.

15% of a lower value is the same as a lower % of a higher value though.

Those "selfish baby boomers" worked for their incomes.

This is nonsense though. My 6 fig gift from gps was because their house which cost 1k was then worth 600k. My parents house is about 1.7m & cost 40k. Those gains weren't earned.

Some baby-boom generation did well in terms of work and income, some did well on house price rises.

Many loved ordinary low income, low expectation lives and struggled, and struggle now.

Many younger generations have shot straight into high salary / high commission jobs and have wealth and resources unimaginable to the baby boom generation. I am astounded when I see salaries for young graduates now.

Many current generation families struggle.

Many women now in their retirement years paid ‘married woman stamp’ and have inadequate state pensions. Or planned to retire earlier than the 66 they can currently collect state pension from, having been told for the vast majority of their working lives that they would get state pension from 60. They may be working in hard physical jobs but just not have the money to retire at the age they planned for.

If you are a wealth manager by definition you work with the richest small %. Many of whom will have become so because of a tight fisted outlook. You can’t generalise from such people.

Care is a huge consideration.

What if one spouse gets a debilitating condition at 75 and lives another 20 years needing care but the house can’t be sold because the other lives in it?

What if you decide / need to stay at home with live in care (rather than one or both go into a home) you need maybe £500k (Mon) to pay live in caterers for 10 years plus running the house and bills for the carer and clients to live in.

What if accessible adjustments need to be made? £20k for an accessible toilet and wet room . How much for a chair lift? Accessible riser chairs?

Fine, accept big sums of ££ from wealthier parents but be prepared to take on loads of caring if the unexpected happens or the money runs out.

I’m a boomer, I got 1 pair of new shoes after I left home at 17….

My parents home was divvied up and spent after their divorce and I won’t get a single penny from them.

in last 100 odd years, house price increases have gone up by a median of 1.9% per annum, after inflation. If anyone wants to jump on that, they are welcome to and in 30 or 50 years, they too will have a tidy profit if they protect the investment.

For as far back as I remember, house prices have been pushing the limits of affordability. I recall in the 90’s looking at a 1 bed flat for £45k, but I couldn’t afford it and no bank would lend it to me, as I only earnt about £18k then and didn’t have the deposit and no spare to save for one.