Inheritance again, sort of

[Leastsaidsoonestscrewed]

Aibu to look askance at those who leave large cash sums to adult children when they die which they could have given them during their lifetime? Not talking property here, which can always be sold to fund care.
But leaving kids to fend for themselves, to go on multiple holidays or buying a holiday home instead of funding them regularly, making them wait until their fifties or even later before getting any security?
Feels like peak selfish boomer behaviour to me. Surely if you have spare unearned cash from investment etc your Millennial or Gen x kids deserve it more, what with COL crisis, high mortgage rates and all?

I mean the thing here is that a lot of boomer generation cash/assets is actually unearned wealth due to rapidly inflated house prices and good quality public services through most of your life

I totally disagree with the OP, but you're also being unreasonable to link this wealth to "hard work"

Surely if you have spare unearned cash from investment etc your Millennial or Gen x kids deserve it more, what with COL crisis, high mortgage rates and all?

I don't think anyone deserves anything but there is definitely disparity between those who get help vs those that don't. I have some friends who were helped onto the ladder in the early 00s fresh out of uni. They have huge property equity gains. I also think in places like London it's really hard to buy without help.

The problem is the unknown care requirements - my friends MIL has had to move into a care home. It costs £2k a week, and isn’t the most expensive around this area. That’s £104k a year.

her house was sold and raised around £600k, and she had pretty decent savings, but that may well all go. It’s been 2 years so far.

another friend, who’s mum was a similar age, was diagnosed with cancer and died this year, 3 months from diagnosis to her death, she is leaving a large sum to her adult children, but it’s not a given that you’ll have money to leave.

@Leastsaidsoonestscrewed before you suggest it would have been better for 1sr friends mum to give away her money before you get sick so the state has to pay for care, this care home is the best for her, if limited to what the state would pay for, she wouldn’t be in this home. There is a lot of fear amongst the older population about what sort of care they’ll get later in life, money means your dcs are able to get you the best for you.

why disable voting? Didn't fancy a chorus of YABU?
I hope your parents enjoy a fabulous retirement and leave any remaining assets to charity.

Also a lot of boomer wealth is tied up in housing. They still need somewhere to live while they are alive.

C) actually handing it over early can result in huge inheritance tax charges if you happen to konk out suddenly within the next 7 years. So you might get much less overall

You can inherit up to 1m tax free. I think that's fairly substantial.

It's difficult. I am mid-fifties, my parents are late 70s. They live in a 2 million pound house with 5 bedrooms. My father benefited from free university fees and a grant, but he refused to fill out the grant forms for me when I had an unconditional offer at Durham, so I couldn't go (the rules changed in 1985 and grants became means-tested). We live in a 2 bed terrace worth about £300k in the same area as my parents. Our child is still at school in this area, but we are desperate to move to a larger house, which will realistically mean moving a few hundred miles away. Are we selfish for moving away when my parents are starting to need help/care? Our house and garden are too small to invite them (or anyone really) over for Sunday lunch, our child feels embarrassed to invite her friends here to a certain extent. We would like her to have a double room eventually so that if/when she has a steady boyfriend, they are able to stay.

Bet your DM loves you 😕

Jeez, if you were my offspring I wouldn't eat or drink anything you made incase you try to bunk me off for my money.

There are so many reasons why you are beyond entitled, but you obviously know about the Annual Gifting Allowance, 7 Year Gift Rule, and Intentional Deprivation of Assets, as you wouldn't come here and post without having researched possible reasons why people cannot simply just give away their money.

Get over yourself! Parents can do whatever they want with their own money, especially while they are well enough to enjoy it. It's lovely if they want to help out their children, and many do, but the fact remains that it is their money and if they should decide to put it through a shredder they are entitled to do so.

Your child is still at school.abd you want her to have space when her boyfriend stays over.

Maybe by then she will have a job and her own place. Be it a house share.🙄

We are in our 60s, if we gave our money to DS what happens if we need it for anything, we might need to do major works on the house or need medical treatment like hip or knee replacement which you wait forever for on the NHS. We couldn't afford to do that on just our pensions because we had given all our savings away

@Hopingforagreatescape One of my mums neighbours constantly moans & laments that her only son & gc have moved far away & she barely sees them. I'm friendly with her son & they couldn't afford to stay local so went to live near his wife's family as they can help with childcare. It's far away so obviously he can't come down every weekend. A bit of me does question why neighbour didn't downsize (similar value & size to your parents).

I am planning to give DD a deposit, we’ll have to fund her through education etc give her access to whatever activities etc she wants to do. I think thats pretty good tbh.

Frankly I want to actually enjoy my old age (if theres enough money for that) , we are older parents and I want to enjoy the time I have left with my DH after she leaves home. Having said that I’d never see her suffer, if she was genuinely struggling with bills etc I would definitely step in. I’m not subsidising a lifestyle that I couldn’t afford myself at her age though. I want to help her but I don’t want her to be helpless.

Feels like peak selfish boomer behaviour to me.

Next!

You may want to check your facts on the £1m thing...

"Any Inheritance Tax due on gifts is usually paid by the estate, unless you give away more than £325,000 in gifts in the 7 years before your death. Once you’ve given away more than £325,000, anyone who gets a gift from you in those 7 years will have to pay Inheritance Tax on their gift."

Thats from the UK Gov website.

You're having a laugh

I know right- I'm sure OP would have researched this

I see OP thinks older people shouldn't go on holidays, obviously a goady, wind up thread

We too are gen X with "silent generation" parents. Ours worked jolly hard to bring us up on not quite enough, to hang onto housing through the mega high interest rates of our childhoods, to support us through education as possible and generally give us choices in life. They've only reached the point of having enough to be comfortable late in life and they absolutely deserve to (be encouraged to) use this as they see fit.

Having said that, we have indeed had generous support intermittently but not so much as to leave us expecting it.

My mother is now downsizing and we are about to get most of our inheritance "early". For all this could be described as "unearned property wealth", I know just how much went into not losing the family home and then finding a way to extend it. The money comes to us with the caveat that if she has misjudged her future costs she will expect us to help out. She's hoping we can invest to support her grandchildren through the rest of their education / housing deposits. It feels quite the responsibility now.

Of course people can give away their assets. It's not yet a total dictatorship.

There are always posters convinced there is some annual limit that the government controls. Happy news - you can give away whatever you want. Your estate possibly may have to pay tax on it if you die within 7 years but for 90% of your lifetime that rule won't apply.

Different families do it differently.

I've seen families really struggle then find out their parents were loaded and deliberately chose not to help out. It tarnishes their memory of their parents - a lot - to think they stood by and watched them suffer.

Others are very generous.

Me? I plan on dying with as little to my name as possible. I'd rather see my kids enjoy it. So, in my 50s, I am already giving it away rather than saving.

We’d all love some free money OP but it’s not the way it works. Their money is theirs and your money is yours. If you want more of it, find a way to earn it

My grandparents did the opposite of this. Bought be a property at 24 from their funds saying that ‘they didn’t need it’. It gave me such an advantage and I’m eternally grateful.