To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

Precious.

@Plumbear2

behave yourself.

It is rude and I always check a baby's name first before writing it. However, two of my children's names are often spelt wrong, even by my own sister in law. I really don't care though, it's still the same name.

I feel your pain OP, but it’s pretty much how people are. To my knowledge my actual name has only one correct spelling but a surprising amount of people like to go fully wild on it and call me by a whole nother name (eg. Jane/ Jean). I comfort myself by singing this song.

Whether you think it's rude or not is irrelevant really. It's one of those things that will most likely continue to happen. So if you love the name you just need to accept that misspellings are going to occur and let it wash over you. Otherwise you'll find yourself permanently peeved.

My in-laws have spelt both my children’s names wrong for 20 years. My kids don’t seem to mind but I regard it as part of their general lack of interest in their grandchildren.

Is it Megan? We have a Megan and a Hannah. We got cards to Meghan and Anna (to be fair my Dad used to drop his H’s so neighbours of my parents genuinely thought she was Anna for the first few months)

I have had a lifetime of people spelling and pronouncing my name wrong. It used to upset me at school as I went through a “that’s not my name” stage

Nowadays I just roll my eyes and not at the person who has said/spelt it wrong but at my bloody parents who put this on me because they, well if you ask my mum it was my dad more than her, insisted on the spelling

My name is like this, I have people spell it wrong all the time, always have my whole life, doesn't bother me. People who know me well don't of course as they've got used to it. People close will notice and adjust over time.

My name is spelled incorrectly all the time and I don’t even notice.

its not a big deal to me. Hopefully your baby won’t mind in the future.

Is it Annabel? We have a family member named Annabel who is forever correcting people who write "Annabelle".

I am 58 my godmother still does this to me .
You just have to accept it I'm afraid, in the grand scheme of this thing we call life it's not actually that big.

I frequently do this with my friend's child. I just cannot remember which version it is - and don't always have time to look it up in a text or something. I feel bad when I realise I've got it wrong but honestly there are an awful lot of things any one brain needs to remember and offence is not caused intentionally.

People are making kind gestures but it is annoying. Just have to focus on kindness and hope they catch on. I have a name which has one widely accepted spelling and a couple of fugly, much lesser used variants. I use the standard spelling and find it bizarre, annoying and lazy when people use the variants. Similarly the shortened version of my name has a preferred spelling- people who see e.g. "Issy" on my teams/email and reply to "Izzie" piss me right off.

This is really normal for any name. People are terrible at spelling. My child's grandfather spelled her name 4 different ways on her Christmas presents, none of which was the correct spelling. Her name only has 4 letters. I found it endearing to be honest. Even my mother who prides herself on her spelling has misspelt both my children's names on occasion.
I think you just have to decide not to care. I don't think it's rude of someone to make a mistake. Different if they purposely misspell it of course.

Share the name?

I can see it is a bit frustrating for those who you texted the name to, (presumably others will just have heard, aurally) but it comes with the territory of choosing to use a name that is more commonly spelled another way. If it was going to bother you, then another name would have made more sense.
It was a factor when choosing names for our dc.

My name can be spelled with a C or a K. It's a C, but even when people email me at work, having had to type in my name as part of the email address, I still get "Dear K"...

I've worked dealing with the general public for many years now and I honestly think that reading comprehension is not taught very well in the UK, if at all. It’s astonishing how many people ring us up after we send out an email that states 'the event is on Wednesday the 18th' saying "is the event on the Friday?" I swear sometimes people's brains just take in what they want rather than what's actually written down.

So I'm afraid that this is just the beginning, OP.

my Name is Lianne but everyone spells it Leanne even though I may have sent a card with my name spelling and still the spell it wrong . Even my family the ones who know better and I’m 38 lol

Sending a new baby card is kind and thoughtful. Accept the the gesture and get over the misspelling YABU

It’s hardly ‘rude’ thoughtless maybe. Congratulations on your new baby.

My DD is 25 now and half of DH's family still spell her name wrong. And I picked probably the commonest, simplest spelling of her name but they swap it for a more complicated version. Who knows why. 🤷‍♀️ It used to annoy me, and DD but we've given up bothering now. No point.
Mind you, DD thinks she escaped lightly as her grandmother mis spells one of her other grandchildren's names to the point that it's actually a different name. And it's deliberate, because she doesn't like the real name. Now that really is rude.

You're coming across rather superior there...that might be why she was horrified, rather than the mispronunciation of her child's name.

Why on earth criticise the spelling of someone else's name? You were clearly just showing off that you know French and trying to score some kind of point!

Anyway it's pretty normal in the UK to pronounce Louis with an audible final S.

When a name has different spellings it is inevitable some folk will get it wrong. Its not worth getting stressed about.

I think in the newborn phase you just have to get over it. If family/friends are still doing it by the time they're 5, then I can see why it would pee you off.

Saying that though I never seem to be able to handwrite the name Michael without putting the e before the a, its like my brain won't let me do it! So maybe people's brains go for what they think is the right way. Also a family member is Tracy no 'e' and I have to make a conscious effort not to but an 'e' in as I did it once and she went mad 😂

I'm thinking maybe Darcy/Darcey/Darcie?