Fatty McFat Face - help

[Usertumster]

AIBU to think I can turn my weight around?

I’m 5’3 and 18 stones. I know.

I have two pairs of jeans that I wear on rotation. Both now have “chub rub” holes at the top. I have 3 long sleeved tops that I wear on rotation.

I'm pretty much a size 20/22.

I’ve lost weight and put weight back on. Before children I was a trim size 10. I weigh so much more now than I did when 40 weeks pregnant!

Today is the first day when I’ve felt overwhelmed with the heat.

People say “gosh, aren’t you hot in jeans!” “Put some shorts on!” etc etc etc. 99% of the time they mean well but it’s SO depressing - I don’t have shorts and they would look so awful that I wouldn’t wear them. Ditto skirts (they really looks bad) but also the chub rub would mean I couldn’t walk for more than a few minutes without a lot of pain.

Im so over it all. And yet apparently not enough to lose weight.

So yeah. Help? And if you have a fat friend in jeans, don’t ask why they’re not in shorts. Please.

I have done Fast 800 before which worked. It’s just sticking to it that’s tough. I don’t have a partner and no one to cook for me. DC too young to cook and obvs I need to cook normal meals for them (they’re healthy weight and sporty).

Im better if I’m on a plan that I know what I’m having every day. Fast 800 ended up with me eating a mainly vegan diet and I felt amazing. Why do I go back to cake….

Thanks for reading this far.

Practical stories of help/people who have lost this amount of weight are welcome. So are tips for dressing a short fat mummy in the summer. Links would help too!

I think if you can wear jeans you can wear knee length shorts.

Having children in itself doesn't make you long term overweight. If I were you, I'd try to think back to what your lifestyle was like as a size 10 vs now. Something has to have changed quite drastically when it comes to diet and activity levels.

Ah bless you.

I'd try fasting, in your position. Simply dont eat ANYTHING for windows of time.

And also, harness the wild horses of your mind. Know that you are in control. While you are in the act of sabotaging yourself, acknowledge that you're in control.

You can have it if you want it. That's a fact.

It’s such an ongoing struggle which so many of us fight. And so much more complex than eat less move more, the dictum which left us feeling crap about our lovely selves.

I know you don’t want to hear this but get onto Vinted and find some light summer clothes you’ll feel ok in - soft linen or cotton trousers and loose cotton shirts. Be comfortable as a priority and don’t go down the self disparaging route.

How about some dresses with shorts under? You could get some floaty dresses in any length you are comfortable with and I saw a company advertising on Facebook (although google would also help) for shorts to wear under dresses to prevent the rubbing.

Speak with your GP about Ozempic.

I'm short and fat! I'm 5ft and about 14 stone. I'm using nutra check to track my calories so hopefully next summer it will be different. Until then I'm wearing wide (ish) leg linen type trousers some solid colours or patterns (matalan have lots) and tshirt style tops (peacocks is good for that) nice sandles/flip flops with jewellery and a nice cross body bag. I generally dress like this when slimmer too. I was a size 12 for many years.My legs only come out on very special occasions!

Snag tights chub rub shorts - game changer.

Buy some rub shorts or cycling shorts
then start wearing dresses. Midi/ maxi floaty are more comfortable than shorts in the heat. Your body won't look any different or fatter to onlookers than in a pair of jeans, I promise!

https://snagtights.com/collections/chub-rub-shorts

You need a lot of changes in your life, but being comfortable would be a first and easy quick step to start with. Losing weight consistently TAKES TIME. It's the first and hard lesson. Whatever you do, you need to start feeling good right now.

If you can afford it...highly recommend a stylist to guide you to make the most of your body NOW, it can be done online and it's cheaper than a face-to-face appointment.

Buy the dress, wear the damn shorts NOW and start planning your health journey of course.

100% intermittent fasting.
I have listened on audible to Gin Stephens book - Delay, don't Deny and it has changed my life. I started the day I listened to it, had no weird foods to buy, I just eat what I want in a window of time. I listen to her podcast too and it keeps me inspired and motivated.

Good luck xx

I'm a size 20 and 5,4. I have lots of dresses and cub rub shorts. No way on earth I'm not dressing nicely or feeling boiling just because I'm fat.

In terms of clothing, you can wear cycling shorts or Snag 'chub rub' shorts under a skirt or dress

In terms of your weight it seems like you know what works and what doesn't so the block is within your own brain / mind. I wonder if something like hypnotherapy might help?
Please be kind to yourself and your body which has grown and birthed children - pretty amazing! Talk kindly to yourself like you would to a friend.

Best of luck x

Holy hell don't do this! Buy some chub rub pants and wear what you want, a dress, skirt, shorter shorts but deffo not knee length. It's not flattering for a short frame. People can guess what your body looks like anyway so no point trying to hide it!

You can find loads on vinted. I don't know your exact shape or colouring, or your style, but there's plenty of dresses that would keep you at least comfortable, not revealing, and hiding the rub shorts.

https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/limited-collection-curve-black-floral-print-midaxi-smock-dress-p

https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/sqaure-neck-print-maxi-p

Ok. So, seconding Snag Tights shorts. Also men's roll-on deodorant between your thighs.

Long term - the hard part is to accept that food will have to be fuel rather than what you've come to think of as "a treat" for a long time. Months. It took me 6 months to lose a stone last year by just eating healthily.

I recommend some sort of plan (like Slim Fast with plenty of veg) to wean yourself off the cake for 3/4 weeks and hopefully make your appetite abate. No longer though.

Linen loose trousers , marks and Spencers. Cotton t shirts and sandals.

Slimming World works for me, I do it on line. I've lost 3 stone but I'm still hot today because it IS hot!

I'm also 5ft 3. I'm currently about 14 and a half stones. Mostly size 16 but sometimes 18. Really struggle to lose more than a few lb!

I feel most comfortable in dresses with a pair of cycling shorts underneath to stop the chub rub- might be worth a try? Try a few styles and see what you like best? There's nothing worse than being uncomfortable in this heat!

I hope it's allowed, but someone like Emily Innes can really help you with style and confidence, check her instagram account. She is just as helpful with slim and trim ladies as she is with the more curvy (cough cough) middle aged mums or their mothers

https://www.stylemehappy.co.uk/about-me

The easiest thing is to not overwhelm yourself and just have one meal a day and that's it be it mcdonalds or be it chicken and salad, so fast most of the day just drink sugar free pop, water, bovril, black tea or coffee or if you really must a bit of skimmed milk and wait until your meal, initially you will eat like 2000 calories in a meal but after a while your stomach will shrink. You can give your kids lunch and breakfast as normal and have dinner with the family, you could sit at breakfast with a hot drink and at lunch with a cold drink.

You need to get new clothes in natural fabrics. get 4 outfits and wear them on rotation.

I think before you tackle diet you should be kinder to yourself. “Fatty mc fat face” and “short fat mummy” aren't going to make you feel good or motivated. You wouldn’t say those those things to a friend so don't say them about yourself.

Diets I’m not much help with so I’ll leave that to someone else.

As for summer clothing, can you wear midi or maxi dresses with cycling shorts underneath? Snag do them in all sizes and colours. They seem to be fairly mainstream now and I have friends from size 10 who wear them. M&S also do them that also include light tummy control. How about leggings with tunic dresses. Or knee length denim shorts.

Fasting and slimming world at the same Time will really help you

I agree, be nice about yourself! Sort your clothes out and maybe you'll be in a better headspace to work on your diet later.

Now is the time to do something about it. Buy clothes that fit now, even if it's just a couple of dresses and anti rub shorts.
You need to change your mindset, I became lazy and complacent and put on weight. Do changes by lifestyle, more walking, more fruit and veg ( less biscuits) but the biggest Change had to be mindset.
Slimming world etc everyone seems to put back on more than they lose. Healthy food options planned in advance, and except use even when you don't fell like it. Also try the miracle morning as I've found that helped too. And most of all Don't put yourself down.

Agree with PP. I wear cycle shorts under dresses. I prefer maxi as they seem to make me look slimmer, but wear them under knee length dresses too. I think this is pretty mainstream.

I also wear knee length denim or canvas shorts and capri trousers. Lots of wide leg linen trousers about.

Not sure about dieting. I am doing 16/8 IF at the moment as I am a bit tight in some of my size 14 clothes and don’t want to shell out for a bigger wardrobe!

A PP mentioned Ozempic. It might be worth thinking about that? Good luck!

I also recommend intermittent fasting. Look it up and try a window that suits your daily routine the most.

Combine that with the diet you were eating when you felt great.

Buy your self a portion of cake at the end of each week if you think you can have that in moderation. If you feel you cant just have a small amount, dont allow yourself to buy it at all.

Good luck op. You're in control of this, you can do it.