Fatty McFat Face - help

[Usertumster]

AIBU to think I can turn my weight around?

I’m 5’3 and 18 stones. I know.

I have two pairs of jeans that I wear on rotation. Both now have “chub rub” holes at the top. I have 3 long sleeved tops that I wear on rotation.

I'm pretty much a size 20/22.

I’ve lost weight and put weight back on. Before children I was a trim size 10. I weigh so much more now than I did when 40 weeks pregnant!

Today is the first day when I’ve felt overwhelmed with the heat.

People say “gosh, aren’t you hot in jeans!” “Put some shorts on!” etc etc etc. 99% of the time they mean well but it’s SO depressing - I don’t have shorts and they would look so awful that I wouldn’t wear them. Ditto skirts (they really looks bad) but also the chub rub would mean I couldn’t walk for more than a few minutes without a lot of pain.

Im so over it all. And yet apparently not enough to lose weight.

So yeah. Help? And if you have a fat friend in jeans, don’t ask why they’re not in shorts. Please.

I have done Fast 800 before which worked. It’s just sticking to it that’s tough. I don’t have a partner and no one to cook for me. DC too young to cook and obvs I need to cook normal meals for them (they’re healthy weight and sporty).

Im better if I’m on a plan that I know what I’m having every day. Fast 800 ended up with me eating a mainly vegan diet and I felt amazing. Why do I go back to cake….

Thanks for reading this far.

Practical stories of help/people who have lost this amount of weight are welcome. So are tips for dressing a short fat mummy in the summer. Links would help too!

Chub rub shorts (from Snag) or legging type shorts are essential under summer dresses to prevent painful thighs and will transform your comfort.

I'd wear knee length shorts or leggings.

Cold shoulder t-shirts/tops/dresses are great to keep you cool whilst covering flabby bingo wings.

Laura Adlington from GBBakeOff has an inspiring Instagram account with plus size clothing choices.

Even if you intend to lose weight I would still start by getting some clothes that fit and suit you now, that'll really help your confidence as well as being much more comfortable for summer.

My friend is a similar size and has a lovely summer wardrobe, she wears colourful floaty cotton dresses with Snag chub rub shorts under. She gets a lot from Joe Browns. There's a good Facebook group for preloved Joe Browns and plenty comes up on Vinted too.

https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/c/joe-browns/f/Categories--Dresses/Sizes--22

Second, third, forth cycling shorts under some cheap dresses - Shein are your friend here! You don’t want to spend a lot while you lose weight but they 100% fill a void and you will feel SO much better.

I’m 5”5 and was nearly 15st 12lb at my heaviest in Jan. I’m now 13st 6lb and this is how I’ve done it. Most of the weight has come off since April as I did an intensive 7 day bootcamp. I know this may not be possible but if you want details PM me!

• Intermittent fasting - 16/8 mostly but less if I can
• Calorie counting on MFP
• Running, appreciate may be hard at first but you can take your DC on their bike/scooter and go for a walk/run. Couch to 5k could be a real winner for you!
• 10000+ steps per day, every day.
• I also go to gym classes 3-4 times a week but appreciate this may be difficult

You really have to change your mindset, you go to bed hating yourself, telling yourself you will change then wake up in the morning and as soon as you get hungry, you mess it up. Trust me, I’ve been there. But once you stop the cycle you can get off.

You can also try weight loss jabs / tablets but tbh they didn’t change my mindset so didn’t work for me. I also tried weight loss hypnosis but that didn’t work. The bootcamp and sharp increase in exercise / lower calories helped, I NEEDED a shock to the system.

Also, follow team RH on tik tok - they are great! You could try joining (I did for a year but wasn’t in the right mindset)

Treat yourself to some cheap cotton cycle shorts or chub rub shorts from the big bloomer co- they’re amazing, I’ve worn mine 9 months pregnant and every size between a 16 and 10, they truly are a one size fit.
Next do fairly good value cotton midi/maxi dresses in petite- buy a few, some comfy leather sandals and start being nicer to yourself. None of us are perfect, we all have our vices and foibles. Find an exercise class you like- mini trampolining, box, spin, step, or challenge yourself to couch to 5k.
You can do it- you’ve got it in you. Just don’t go mad and change everything all at once- keep a bit of what you love within a diet that overall creates a calorie deficit. Good luck!

I've been in your position before. Feb last year I was 20st 12lbs size 24/26 and now I'm 11st 11lbs and a Size 14/16. I did it by following Slimming World as I found dieting the 'traditional' way didn't work for me. Hope that helps

Haven’t RTFT, sorry. I think if you change your diet instead of just dieting to lose weight it will help. One of my relatives has never gained weight. She’s mid-forties and has always eaten lots of vegetables, chicken, beef, fish and salad. No processed food and not much carbs. Her sons, 3, are the same.

I’m trying to change my diet but after growing up eating lots of bread and potatoes because that filling it’s not easy.

Eat less. Move more. It really is that simple.

I say that as someone who struggles with weight.

At 5'3 a midi length, A line, flowy dress with long or 3/4 sleeves would work well. I say this as a fellow 5'3 size 16-18.

Midi usually sits below the knee on me and high enough up the shin to not make me look stumpy! H&M have cotton cycling shorts that are light and SO comfortable and stops any chub rub. I always find New look do good dresses in their petite range for shorter people but their regular range also sits nicely.

Can you look at the source of the problem. What led to you gaining so much weight?

@Usertumster Yours do cotton trousers and cut off trousers they are loose fitting and much cooler than jeans. https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/plus-size-bottoms/casual/cotton

I also look at Yours and Evans for tops, these are lovely and cool https://www.evans.co.uk/ellie-pintuck-lace-top-orchid

Fasting and low carb/keto/carnivore. I struggle with cravings when I eat carbs and find it much easier to lose weight this way.

I'm dieting, and I do it by usually having just one or two meals a day, early in the day. Not large meals either, no cake. Fill up on coffee to fight the hunger pangs. Your body will get used to it. It's worked for me after years at the same weight.

I'm a similar height and weight to you at the moment - my weight has almost doubled in a year due to a medical issue, so this is my first time being as big as I am in the heat too, and it's not fun.

I know it's frowned upon on MN to admit to using Shein, but it's come in very handy for me recently. I spent about £120 and got a tonne of summer dresses, lightweight tops and "chub rub shorts". I look rubbish in shorts too - I'm too short and my belly is too big, so knee length dresses work well for me (my legs are still fairly decent and long dresses always reach the ground or trip me up!) I bought CR shorts in a light-weight, silky material which comes in a variety of skin tones, as well as a couple of pairs which just look like the top half of a pair of tights. They're all very comfortable and wearing them means I feel much more confident in dresses, knowing I'm not going to expose my massive knickers when there's a gust of wind!

Same starting weight and dress size as you - 2.5 stone down with slimming world - which may not have worked but for a lovely group of women at the meeting I go to, and a woman in the group who has lost 10 stone who is such an inspiration. I tried lots of things - lost weight on Cambridge, but could not keep up it for as long as I needed to. SW (or WW whichever you prefer) at least lets you eat regular food in a controlled way. I try to stay away from diet food and cook from scratch, but have found it gives me a way to manage what i eat which works. you can do it, there is nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable all the time.

Go and try some on in M&S then keep your eye out for the sales. M&S have non stop sales and you can choose while they full price then buy reduced. I'm your size and I get compliments on my M&S dresses. One very similar to this was about £17 in the sales

How about just accepting yourself as you are?

Eat well. Move your body for enjoyment. In any way you want. Walk, swim, skip, dance.

Don't fast. Don't join a stupid "slimming club". Don't buy into the shit that people post on here.

You can wear what you want. Find workarounds if you are uncomfortable, such as chub-rub shorts. You really do only get one life and hiding your tummy/arms/legs whatever every time the weather is decent, isn't going to make you happier.

Was going to say about Laura. I love her! She always looks amazing.

Weight Watchers. I did it did it digital only and no in person meetings. You can still have cake and other things that you like and there’s no going hungry. I went from being plus size to single size at the lower end of the size spectrum.

Another vote for Shein here! I’m a bit shorter than you and also have a few stones to lose. I spent about £70 and got some lovely dresses from there recently. I also bought some control shorts from Matalan. They are reasonably priced, comfortable and don’t roll down.
I’m doing WW but having a few treats as well. I gained a lot of weight recently due to health issues and medication but I’ve lost a stone in 6 weeks so far.

OP I am in a similar situation to you except I weigh more and I’m shorter 🤦‍♀️ 8 weeks I suddenly just decided enough is enough. I have started calorie counting (not getting obsessed, just so I know what I’m having, I’m still having ‘treats’ etc) and I bought myself an exercise step. I do 20-30 mins every other day with the main goal being ‘introduce some activity’ rather than for weight loss. I’ve lost quite a few pounds already although I’m not weighing regularly. I feel better mentally already even though I’m still really fat! But the point is I’ve started
for clothes buy from shein (I know I shouldn’t) but they do wonderful floaty dresses that you can wear with chub rub shorts under and a thin cardi. Good luck

It definitely is do-able, but it does take time. I am also 5’3 and since January 2022 I have gone from 108kg to 75kg, still aiming to lose another 5-10kg.

With exercise I started with a daily walk and swimming. At the start of this year I moved on to jogging 3x per week through couch to 5k and also took up a new sport 1 hour 1-2 times per week. I’ve also started cycling places (mainly on electric bikes).

On diet I started intermittent fasting. I don’t eat breakfast but then eat lunch at around 1pm (300-400 calories). Then dinner around 7/8 is a bit more relaxed, but we moved away from carb heavy things at home and started eating more Asian food. We stopped having processed snacks at home (crisps, biscuits, sweets, cake etc.). Feel free to PM me if it would be at all helpful!

Give yourself a break! Get some chin rub shorts and get on curve shein just to buy some cheap dresses until you find a style you like. Let yourself be happy life is way to short.

Ozempic! But only if you use it to get fitter and educate yourself with regards to eating better.

Sorry you feel this way OP and well done for reaching out.

Go on Shein or Vinted for summer clothes. I see lots of ads on my Facebook for chub run shorts - is it fablectics that sells them?...worth a quick google.

Myfitnesspal to calorie count. It's a pain in the bum at first but it soon becomes a habit. You need to be accountable for what you are eating. Instead of doing it on the day I like to put my calories in the night before so I have a food planner, easier to stick to then.

If you don't have the motivation for that a couple of easy things I'd do to start:

• Bin kids leftovers, don't eat them! I was sometimes eating 500 calories just by eating leftover chips and fish fingers! Obviously not sure if you do this.

• Have 1 low carb meal a day. Ideally evening meal. This weather is great for having big salads with some fish chicken or meat alternatives.

• Try to not to eat after a certain time, say 8 or 9pm, until the next morning. This works for me better than intermittent fasting which I can't tolerate as I get headaches from not eating.

-if hungry, have a glass of water first and wait 15 mins to see if it helps

• Keep veggies/boiled eggs/small bits of cheese in the fridge to nibble on when hungry or cooking

Hope this doesn't sound trite, but small changes are the way to go and definitely a good way to get started.
Good luck.