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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for 50% of pizza cost from friend?

242 replies

rainonmetonightnel · 09/06/2023 21:16

I had a friend over who's actually my SIL also.

She suggested getting a Papa John's when I said I could do us a just salad for lunch

I said that sounded nice, so ordered it from my app on the just eat app.

It came and I went to have a slice. She had plated herself up with half the pizza, despite me mentioning previously that I'd give DS a slice or two when he came home, as a treat (he really likes cold pizza!)

She hasn't mentioned paying me back, at all

When she was finished eating, all of it was gone

We ordered a large pizza

AIBU to ask for 50%? She also drank most of the 7UP

OP posts:
AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 10/06/2023 08:06

FreefallFlight174 · 09/06/2023 23:01

The Papa John's website says a large is 13.5 inches? That would only serve 2 moderately hungry adults in our house, so YABU OP

I would definitely have agreed to pay but a large is generally to split between 2 adults and salad's basically all water so I can see why she took half.

One large is similar in pizza volume to a small each.

Lacucuracha · 10/06/2023 08:07

CatfoodOzymandias · 10/06/2023 07:55

I so wouldn't thank you for salad.

Then don’t invite yourself for lunch.

metintheclass · 10/06/2023 08:10

Sausage1989 · 10/06/2023 06:52

Surely she just pays next time you have pizza. You are so tight. Imagine offering someone a salad or a grim frozen pizza if you had them over for lunch!! Then stressing about charging them half for a takeaway because they dared to eat half a pizza!

She quite rudely rejected two choices I had for lunch on offer, and then insisted when I even said it was quite pricey at Papa Johns

Lacucuracha · 10/06/2023 08:12

OP, think you’ve had a name change failure.

She was very rude.

CatfoodOzymandias · 10/06/2023 08:17

Lacucuracha · 10/06/2023 08:07

Then don’t invite yourself for lunch.

Show quote history

I dont see where she did. ' I had a friend over" it says. And now there is a drip feed about two choices for lunch.

Anyway all this seems like way too much drama for your own SIL. I wouldn't grudge an acquaintance a few slices of pizza, let alone a family member. Presumably she will treat next time.

I am waiting till posters urge the OP to go NC. Because this is MN and obsessing over little things is encouraged!

Redebs · 10/06/2023 08:20

Tell me you're not Asian/Arab without telling me you're not ... 🤣🤣🤣

CatfoodOzymandias · 10/06/2023 08:22

Redebs · 10/06/2023 08:20

Tell me you're not Asian/Arab without telling me you're not ... 🤣🤣🤣

Indeed! Four course meal, leftovers in a Tupperware and no exchanging bank details. You can also drink all the 7 Up you want.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 10/06/2023 08:24

CatfoodOzymandias · 10/06/2023 08:22

Indeed! Four course meal, leftovers in a Tupperware and no exchanging bank details. You can also drink all the 7 Up you want.

Show quote history

It's the same in Yorkshire to be fair. Cup of tea every 30 minutes, endless biscuits and nobody bills you for the teabags.

OP I sincerely hope you used a discount code. I got 2 large pizzas for £10 each collected last night.

Lacucuracha · 10/06/2023 08:25

Redebs · 10/06/2023 08:20

Tell me you're not Asian/Arab without telling me you're not ... 🤣🤣🤣

Asians and Arabs are not mugs thought, they won’t feed CFs who only take.

aSofaNearYou · 10/06/2023 08:27

She quite rudely rejected two choices I had for lunch on offer, and then insisted when I even said it was quite pricey at Papa Johns

Tbf OP you did offer her salad, and given that she suggested pizza she obviously wanted something more substantial and more of a treat than that. Are you one of those MN people that doesn't realise lots of people dread being made just a salad and insists that is filling? It sounds like it, from the fact that you also seem totally dumbfounded about the idea that anyone would want half a 13.5 inch pizza, despite the fact that loads of people would eat all of it if they were having a treat.

Yes it was rude of her to insist on that specific brand of pizza when cheaper ones exist, and to not offer to pay when you specifically mentioned thinking it was too expensive. But you're unreasonable and unrealistic to be miffed she wasn't satisfied with a small portion of pizza, or the salad you offered.

Jesseweneedtocook · 10/06/2023 08:28

NewIdeasToday · 09/06/2023 21:19

If you host a visitor then you provide the food. It would be completely awkward and inappropriate to ask her to pay towards the meal.

What exactly would be awkward about asking someone to pay towards food they've eaten the majority of?

Parkandpicnic · 10/06/2023 08:32

A bit awkward, I’d leave it but think next time I would just leave her to order the pizza if she’s the one suggesting it

bakebeans · 10/06/2023 08:40

A bit late now. U should have asked for her contribution before ordering if she had insisted that you order for her

AgentJohnson · 10/06/2023 08:45

If you expect someone to contribute to the cost of something then the discussion and agreement comes before the ordering. The ‘if it was me…’ statement is an excuse you give yourself for not having the discussion. This woman is not a stranger, you know what she’s like so even more reason to have the discussion.

PumpkinQueen1 · 10/06/2023 09:04

Sausage1989 · 10/06/2023 06:52

Surely she just pays next time you have pizza. You are so tight. Imagine offering someone a salad or a grim frozen pizza if you had them over for lunch!! Then stressing about charging them half for a takeaway because they dared to eat half a pizza!

Imagine offering someone a salad or a grim frozen pizza if you had them over for lunch! - because that's all you can afford.

Not everyone has the funds to be able to buy a £22 pizza without worrying about the cost.

Maybe the OP isn't tight. Maybe she just doesn't have much money? Maybe she can only afford to give her guests salad or a grim freezer pizza?

Some of us have to be really careful with what we spend, especially at the moment. But if that is the case, OP should have told the friend that she can't afford a takeaway, so it's salad or freezer pizza.

I imagine if the OP had enough cash to not worry about what she's spent on the pizza, it wouldn't be an issue.

onwardsup4 · 10/06/2023 09:10

Nanaof1 · 10/06/2023 03:09

I'm fairly surprised that people think that half a large pizza is a "normal serving". My DH and I get a large pizza, and it does us two meals. He will usually have a salad with his meal (made at home), but 2 slices are all my body can handle without being ill after. And I am not a small person by any stretch.
I think your sister is a CF. If she had paid for half the meal, she had the right to take half the meal. But she didn't pay, so I do not understand how people can say she was "entitled to half" of the pizza. She was entitled to whatever OP served her and if she was still hungry, she could stop and buy herself something on the way home to tide her over.
"Entitled to half the pizza"? Mind-boggling.

That's unfortunate for you, but yea most people don't feel ill after two slices of pizza

Dustybarn · 10/06/2023 09:12

If you were having lots of kids over from both families and ordered 10 pizzas then yes she should contribute. But why would you bother to come on to MN to ask about the cost of half a pizza and half a 7up? This is not worth getting angry over.

itsmylife7 · 10/06/2023 09:12

Maybe your mistake was to order it on your app,on your phone , using your money ?

She assumed you were paying all the bill as you didn't mention anything to her.

Lacucuracha · 10/06/2023 09:20

aSofaNearYou · 10/06/2023 08:27

She quite rudely rejected two choices I had for lunch on offer, and then insisted when I even said it was quite pricey at Papa Johns

Tbf OP you did offer her salad, and given that she suggested pizza she obviously wanted something more substantial and more of a treat than that. Are you one of those MN people that doesn't realise lots of people dread being made just a salad and insists that is filling? It sounds like it, from the fact that you also seem totally dumbfounded about the idea that anyone would want half a 13.5 inch pizza, despite the fact that loads of people would eat all of it if they were having a treat.

Yes it was rude of her to insist on that specific brand of pizza when cheaper ones exist, and to not offer to pay when you specifically mentioned thinking it was too expensive. But you're unreasonable and unrealistic to be miffed she wasn't satisfied with a small portion of pizza, or the salad you offered.

It’s as rude AF to tell your host you want to eat something else that is not available and needs to be purchased by the host. Eat what you’re given or go home.

aSofaNearYou · 10/06/2023 09:27

It’s as rude AF to tell your host you want to eat something else that is not available and needs to be purchased by the host. Eat what you’re given or go home.

I don't think it's rude to suggest a takeaway with someone you know well. It is rude not to offer to pay, especially when they make a comment about thinking it's too expensive.

But I think it's daft to be surprised someone wasn't keen on having a salad.

Lindtnotlint · 10/06/2023 09:30

Unless this amount of money is truly a big deal for you, let it go. She was a bit pushy and weird about getting the pizza, but you did it, and close friends and relatives billing each other for individual half pizzas is really unnecessary and petty in my book, especially if not agreed when you bought it. She buys the next lunch!

SallyWD · 10/06/2023 09:37

I think she should have offered to pay. If not you should have addressed it at the time. As neither of these things happened I'd let it go. Next time you see her I'd hint at getting a pizza and say "Your turn to pay!".

PN54DJS · 10/06/2023 09:48

Why did you give her your phone to buy the pizza herself?

That's probably why she thought it was okay. She did it from your phone.

cushioncovers · 10/06/2023 10:00

I'm no curious op what was 'the salad' exactly?

cushioncovers · 10/06/2023 10:01

*That should have said I am curious