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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for 50% of pizza cost from friend?

242 replies

rainonmetonightnel · 09/06/2023 21:16

I had a friend over who's actually my SIL also.

She suggested getting a Papa John's when I said I could do us a just salad for lunch

I said that sounded nice, so ordered it from my app on the just eat app.

It came and I went to have a slice. She had plated herself up with half the pizza, despite me mentioning previously that I'd give DS a slice or two when he came home, as a treat (he really likes cold pizza!)

She hasn't mentioned paying me back, at all

When she was finished eating, all of it was gone

We ordered a large pizza

AIBU to ask for 50%? She also drank most of the 7UP

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 10/06/2023 03:26

You have learnt a lesson for the future.
It is beyond the time to ask for payment.

Maybe it will even out when she feeds you a pizza at her house or a coffee and cake at a cafe? You never know but do learn to be assertive.

Busybutbored · 10/06/2023 03:31

Nanaof1 · 10/06/2023 03:22

Good thing the OP didn't make a 5 pound roast or a 3 gallon pot of soup.

No, I do NOT assume that if I am eating at someone's house that I get half, or a third or a quarter of what is served. I feel "entitled" to what I am served and offered, and not half of anything. IRL, this is how MY friends/family are, because we don't have any sense of entitlement to other people's food.

Show quote history

I think you've misinterpreted 'entitled' and the scenario. That's an extreme reaction using a 5 pound toast as an example. It would be very strange to have someone over and then ration their servings, generally when you have people over, most people are overly generous. You know it's like if there's one biscuit left, you offer it to the guest, you don't scoff it yourself. I can't think of anything worse than going to someone's for a meal and going home hungry 😕 😳

DoingSomethingUnholy · 10/06/2023 03:41

I think she is cheeky and rather greedy to eat half a 14inch pizza for lunch, is she big boned 😆? I'd tell her how much it came to and get half back, it isn't at all awkward asking if it's your friend. She's very cheeky to suggest a take away when you have offered her food you have in and to then just sit there and let you pay, rude. A greedy CF.

MyLudicrouslyCapaciousBag · 10/06/2023 04:04

you offered salad and to make a pizza but she insisted on ordering in - she should definitely pay half in my opinion (and think she was rude for turning her nose up at salad and freezer pizza personally - esp if she wasn’t going to it for it). i’d message her and say “just realised we didn’t sort out the money for pizza - it’s £X for your half so can you transfer when you get a min thanks!”

JaffaCake70 · 10/06/2023 04:50

Blackbyrd · 09/06/2023 21:22

One pizza between two is hardly generous anyway, let alone hoping for a couple of leftover slices. YABU

Those large Papa John pizzas are massive. I've got a big appetite but I'd struggle to eat half of one.

I'd say she's a CF to press you to buy the pizza but then not contribute towards the cost. But I think the moment has gone now, you should have sorted how it was being paid for before you ordered it.

Put this one down to experience, let her pay next time.

Aslanplustwo · 10/06/2023 05:15

I really couldn't be bothered. If I couldn't treat a friend to a pizza now and again I would start worrying about myself.

Aprilx · 10/06/2023 05:36

I cannot imagine going to somebody else’s house and asking them to order food in. I would be very disappointed to be offered a little salad for lunch, but I would have it and then eat properly later.

That said OP, of course you cannot ask a guest to pay for lunch when you are hosting, no matter how it came about. A 13.5inch pizza is not that large and I dint know why you are making snide comments about her for eating half and drinking 7 up. If you really are this tight and petty then stop hosting.

Jemandthehologramsunite · 10/06/2023 05:37

Aslanplustwo · 10/06/2023 05:15

I really couldn't be bothered. If I couldn't treat a friend to a pizza now and again I would start worrying about myself.

Well said

CatfoodOzymandias · 10/06/2023 05:51

After 7 pages of posts I guess you should just send her the bill! Personally I treat my friends and they treat me back without keeping score, but you seem very set on recovering a few pounds, so do that.

Thesunnymood · 10/06/2023 05:57

Isn it 13 inch? That's not 3 people pizza unless you have at least 3 larger sides....

You should have made it clear befpre ordwring that you will split it

BadBarry · 10/06/2023 05:57

Just text "lovely time seeing you for lunch yesterday, your half of pizza was £££ do you want to bank transfer it to me or pay me the cash next time you see me? it was fun, we should do that again sometime as a treat 🙂

If there is a next time however discuss costs up front Wink

SkyandSurf · 10/06/2023 06:00

I can't get over how rude it is to ask for takeaway when your host has made you lunch!

Yerroblemom1923 · 10/06/2023 06:13

She sounds greedy and rude to pile half a pizza onto her plate! How did she know she could actually eat it all?! Surely you have one slice at a time and even then you'd only eat 2 slices to ensure the host has plenty to eat for themselves.
While I do think she should've offered you some money you are the host so I'd let it go. £22 for a pizza sounds a lot to me, but I rarely order takeaway food.
As a guest she sounds rather rude and as she's your SIL I'm guessing you know she has form for this.
Maybe next time you invite her over have everything ready and laid out to eat so she's less likely to say "let's eat an overpriced takeaway food that I won't pay for and that I'll mostly eat ensuring there's no left over".
Also, if I was the host, I would've just eaten less to save some pizza for my DS.

TallerThanAverage · 10/06/2023 06:16

She said 'come on! Have a treat'

at this point you should have said something.

She had plated herself up with half the pizza, despite me mentioning previously that I'd give DS a slice or two when he came home, as a treat (he really likes cold pizza

Who ate the other half? You could have put a slice on a plate in the fridge.

JaffaCake70 · 10/06/2023 06:20

rainonmetonightnel · 09/06/2023 21:16

I had a friend over who's actually my SIL also.

She suggested getting a Papa John's when I said I could do us a just salad for lunch

I said that sounded nice, so ordered it from my app on the just eat app.

It came and I went to have a slice. She had plated herself up with half the pizza, despite me mentioning previously that I'd give DS a slice or two when he came home, as a treat (he really likes cold pizza!)

She hasn't mentioned paying me back, at all

When she was finished eating, all of it was gone

We ordered a large pizza

AIBU to ask for 50%? She also drank most of the 7UP

Did you eat the other half of the pizza or save some for your Son?

When you say "when she finished eating, all of it was gone" did she eat more than half of the pizza, or did you eat the other half?

TriedTurningItOff · 10/06/2023 06:24

As a guest, I wouldn't dream of insisting that the host treats me. You offered salad and frozen pizza : that's your job done. If she fancies something different/better, she should pay for it herself.

Hyppogriff · 10/06/2023 06:28

If it was me I would have offered to pay half but if I was you now then I wouldn’t be chasing for half the money at this point (unless you are extremely hard up as it is just a pizza).
maybe next time you’re in a similar situation you can suggest she treats you as you got the pizza last time if that’s the kind of relationship you have

AngelAurora · 10/06/2023 06:32

It's just a pizza fgs, if you are skint you should not of bought it in the first place.

crazyaboutcats · 10/06/2023 06:46

Leave it but never do it again and take a very wide berth.

Or next time she suggests you treat yourself (her) say great it's your turn.

Sausage1989 · 10/06/2023 06:52

Surely she just pays next time you have pizza. You are so tight. Imagine offering someone a salad or a grim frozen pizza if you had them over for lunch!! Then stressing about charging them half for a takeaway because they dared to eat half a pizza!

Springbaby2023 · 10/06/2023 07:05

YANBU to expect her to pay half, but YABU to have an issue with her eating half a pizza, you should have just saved some for your son from your own half (or ordered extra).

WaltzingWaters · 10/06/2023 07:06

She’s really a CF to suggest take out pizza, when you had offered frozen pizza and salad, and to not offer half. It’s really really rude of her.

That said, as she didn’t offer it you definitely should have been more assertive at the time and said, “sure, if you wanna go halves?” Or said “I’ll send you my bank details so you can give me your half of the pizza money” when she was leaving.

Is she the sort of person who would return the favour? I’m guessing not as she sounds a complete CF, but if she is and is usually generous in return, I’d leave it. If she’s always a CF ask for it back. Or next time insist you’ll have the frozen pizza but if she’d prefer papa johns she’s welcome to order for herself.

ChristmasJumpers · 10/06/2023 07:15

I think most people would happily eat at least half of a large pizza. Yes she should be paying half and that's been made much easier for you now that she's actually eaten half. What would you have wanted her to pay if she'd had less than half to accommodate your son's slices?

Ponoka7 · 10/06/2023 07:15

What size was the pizza in the freezer and would you have still expected some to be left for your son? I wouldn't thank you for salad tbh. I agree that it's too late to say anything. What do you get fed if you go to her's?

CatfoodOzymandias · 10/06/2023 07:55

I so wouldn't thank you for salad.