To ask for 50% of pizza cost from friend?

[rainonmetonightnel]

I had a friend over who's actually my SIL also.

She suggested getting a Papa John's when I said I could do us a just salad for lunch

I said that sounded nice, so ordered it from my app on the just eat app.

It came and I went to have a slice. She had plated herself up with half the pizza, despite me mentioning previously that I'd give DS a slice or two when he came home, as a treat (he really likes cold pizza!)

She hasn't mentioned paying me back, at all

When she was finished eating, all of it was gone

We ordered a large pizza

AIBU to ask for 50%? She also drank most of the 7UP

Also there were two of you for lunch so that's half a pizza each. If you wanted to share your half with your ds then that's up to you. Why expect your guest to have a smaller portion because you've decided you want some of it to give your child. The 7up was a 2 litre bottle I'm guessing so she probably had two large glasses of it. That's not uncommon when a person out for lunch.

Message her asking for payment for a couple of slices of pizza and a SevenUp? It's her SIL!

Exactly my thoughts! If I host, I pay. But for the guest to eat all of the food when she’d asked to keep a couple slices back for her son… I can see why OP feels taken advantage of

text her - say it was a nice lunch, enjoyed seeing her. Please could you transfer half the cost of the pizza to your account...

SiL ate half the pizza the other half was for op. Nothing greedy or cheeky about splitting a pizza in half when there's two of you.

I disagree with other posters. I really think sharing a large pizza for lunch with a friend amounts to a normal portion size each. It’s not too small. It’s lunch, not dinner.

I’d only be able to get through a whole large pizza by myself if I hadn’t eaten anything else all day and it was like 10pm. Even then I’d likely be full enough to leave some, or the pizza would get too cold to be enjoyable enough to hoover up. This friend was only popping by too, so it’s not like she would be accessing the pizza at OP’s all night like a family would with a takeaway and constantly graze. I think the friend took the P a bit here.

Perhaps she also breathed more air.

OP is yet to confirm this is the case.

She states she went to take 'a slice' and found the friend had plated herself up half the pizza.

Then later when the friend was finished eating the pizza was 'all gone'.

This does imply that friend consumed more than half the pizza.

Do you not have an ordinary, local pizza parlour that would maybe??? have been cheaper, then at least you wouldn't be feeling quite so taken advantage of.

Will the money make a difference to you? If so, ask her for half. More broadly, you need to get better at sticking to your guns or asking for what you want upfront but that's for next time. If it hasn't left you short I would let it go as she's close family but let her get the next one/ be firmer next time. I don't agree that if a guest pushes for a much more expensive option then the host is obliged to foot the bill but they need to say that at the time ideally

This

Send her a text saying

"Sorry, forgot to give you my bank details for the pizza, here's the sort code/account - it was £11 each"

But presumably you also ate half the pizza if there was none left for your DS?

Personally I think the SIL should pay half since she was the one who suggested pizza but...

I think OP was rude in trying to earmark some of it for her son and (by the sounds of things) expecting SIL to eat less than her share in order to facilitate this.

If I fancied sharing a pizza with a friend and then they casually mentioned giving some of it away to another (absent) person, I think I'd quickly plate up half of it too. Being expected to share what was going to be split two ways with a third person who isn't even there would give me the rage 😂.

But yes, having had half, she should pay for half.

I'm confused then op says

. "When she'd finished eating all of it was gone".

Did op watch her eat an entire pizza and go hungry? Or did SiL eat her half and op ate some but wanted to save some of SiL's half for her son?

This.

I'd have insisted in paying my share, but she didn't. Perhaps she forgot, or perhaps she is rude. Life's to short to quibble over a few pounds IMO. Hopefully she'll foot the bill next time.

People must have different relationships than I do because if I ever messaged my sister or my SIL for money after a lunch, that would be the end of that relationship. And vice versa. Or any family member.

It would be plenty for dinner too.

Most large pizzas would be 2000kcal minimum for a thin crust!

I suppose I'm just annoyed because it's fine to take half if you're actually paying! Not just almost insisting on papa johns then not handing anything over

It's fine to want to split the cost, that or one of you paying are both fine imo. But I also don't think she was wrong to take half the pizza. The idea was for you two to share, that was probably how much she wanted to eat, so if you just declared you'd save son for your son, rather than asking if she minded splitting three ways, it wasn't unreasonable to assume you meant from your half.

They sound like very fragile relationships then.

I'd message 'Oi you owe me for lunch' and they'd message back 'how much?' Or '😂😂😂' depending on their mood. But we are quite close and get each other.

Well there was because I left some for him

I think there are two separate issues. I think you were unreasonable to assume she was happy to share her lunch with your DS.

I think she was unreasonable to not pay for what she ate

See, I think the opposite. I don't like the nickel and diming over a 7 Up. Sometimes I pay, sometimes my sister does.

We are also close. That's why I don't want to send her a bill because she was hungry!