AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

[houseguesthair]

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

I'm a late showerer too (I dont get morning showerer who has the energy and willpower at 6am + the kids would kill each other without supervision) but late means between 4-10pm latest (no later because it takes an hour for my hair to get to a damp-dry phase where it wouldn't soak a pillow and who wants to sleep on wet hair?).

I wonder if theres some kind of miscommunication with this woman although god knows what it is (unless she thinks your friend owns the house and your a guests or she has paid your friend to stay there? thats all I can think that would lead to misunderstanding).

Not sure why people are explaining why they shower at night, OP has no issue with guests showering.

I do notice the dirty snot if I've had a day in London --from lovely

I do notice the dirty snot if I've had a day in London from lovely clean Glasgow on a work/day trip don't ask me how I know

No. Just genuinely feel icky if I've been out and about then don't have a shower before bed.

OP has said she gets the showering thing, but obviously anything over 5-10 mins at that time is inconsiderate.

Placemark for CF update

I think you’ve handled it well

OP asked for views and I said that someone taking a shower and drying their hair wouldn't bother me.

Of course if it bothers her, then she should say something. But I'm allowed to give my view 😂😂

Mumsnet would like a cf update when you have a chance! Also I think it’s cheeky to sleep on lounge sofa when she clearly has either bedroom 2 or 3 to sleep in!

Can’t wait for an update @houseguesthair

You sound like a lovely host OP. Friend’s new friendship sounds doomed.

I'd have rousted her. Loudly. With 'I'm not running a hotel; you don't get to use up fresh, clean towels every fucking time you take a shower. And as for your showers, i can't afford for your marathon showers 1x per day, let alone multiple times. You need to stop or go stay elsewhere."

Why is she on the lounge sofa?

All this is the behaviour I'd expect maybe from a spoilt trust-fund type person, but that person could afford a hotel. Maybe she wants to rough it with the common people.

Her cousin knows what she's like. That's why she's not staying there.

Here with popcorn!

Kick her out, she can stay with her cousin.

When my DM used to host foreign students years ago in SE London they’d complain about the dirt in central London and would sometimes shower when they came home. But if they dried their hair this was always before the rest of the house went to bed.

Please have a shower op and dry your hair.....

Shes an absolutely CF. Who crashes out on sofa at home of someone they don’t know and who is letting her stay free of charge.

I would bend over backwards if I was her to be polite not get in the way and to be a perfect houseguest.

The entitlement is breathtaking

I’m Irish and it’s a cardinal sin to arrive at someone’s house with “one arm as long as the other”! Additional gifts on departure and/or taking hosts out and paying during the stay would also be usual! Hairdrying late at night is a no-no anywhere except in privacy of your own home!

I saw OP’s update which I must’ve missed! Cheeky mare just falling asleep on a sofa. Jeez if that were me I’d be buying fliers, bread, tidying up etc.

The only possible thing I can think of and this is really clutching at straws and not true of all of them, but some Eastern Europeans I’ve known have been a bit rude, almost to the point of “we expect this etc”. But not all are like this, I’ve got a Bosnian friend and Polish friends who’d be appalled if they behaved like this!

id send her to stay with the cousin

Lived in various parts of London all my life. Worked in central London a lot. Never had brown water or noticed dirt… did notice dirt on feet when wearing sandals sometimes in summer in hot weather but that’s it! Never had black snot either. Also yes if I go to countryside or seaside then of course the weather, air is cleaner but I’d expect that, it’s not noticeably cleaner eg when showering with water though.

@stayathomer Ermmm, as a non paying house guest this behaviour is an absolute no no.

More towels?

I reuse towels when I'm staying in a HOTEL, never mind a friends house.

God she sounds fucking tedious.

She’s on the couch and you’ve had to go to your bedroom 😡
What a massive CF! She’ll no doubt have a go at you when she gets woken. I’m fuming on your behalf!