AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

[houseguesthair]

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

To be honest I'm also on the fence about this, if they are trying to pack in as much as possible in a few days and presumably you're somewhere warm then I would also want to have a shower before bed. I wouldn't have said anything at the time but the next morning asked if they' would shower earlier going forwards as you're a light sleeper and it kept you up. Then they know to plan for that.

I don't think the OP had an issue with a short shower - indeed, iirc, she says she sometimes has one herself at night.

It was an hour long plus shower followed by the hairdryer which wasn't even hers that she had an issue. In fact, even nice friend had an issue with it and went to try and stop her, but CF friend refused to curtail her shower and just got back in That could explain why she thought that both of them had hour long showers whereas nice friend usually just had a freshening up shower.

@EggInANest Exactly - it might be three bedrooms - but it's still cramped with three people. My bedroom is okay - the spare bedroom has a double bed and a squashed in bedside table, the office has a fold down bed that just about fits in with my desk. There is no space to eat in the kitchen and the sitting room just fits a sofa and a small round table ... I'm not saying it's not a nice flat, it's a lovely flat - but cohabiting in small spaces requires constant consideration which CFF obviously lacks. To be honest had my sister, partner, cousin etc used a hairdryer at 1.30 am in the bathroom next to my room on a « school night » I’d have gone apeshit at them…

Anyway, just home and CFF is fast asleep on the sofa in the sitting room with the radio on on her phone....she's obviously had another shower and used more towels ... I'm waiting for the others to arrive and haven't woken her and have retreated to my bedroom with a large g&t.

She's sleeping right now? Don't you need to dry your hair very loudly immediately OP?

Really? You're on the fence about someone being passive aggressive and rude the next morning when asked if they slept well?

The whole attitude of the woman stinks. It's not about the bloody shower.

But Jesus the lack of awareness not to realise 1.30am in someone else's house you might actually want to be quiet...

Id be banging around with pots and pans...its tea time afterall!

@monsteramunch @Ilikewinter So tempted but mutual friend who's coming round gave me a "when they go low lecture" ... and don't want to make things uncomfortable for lovely friend either she's been very excited about her whirlwind of a friendship with CFF thats being going since maybe November ...

I'm here for the turn the hair dryer on sleeping cf too 🤣🤣
You sound lovely op, and I'm a little jealous of your lifestyle and easy attitude. Enjoy the g&t. Cheers 🥂

More towels. Taking up the living room. She thinks your house is a hotel. How rude.

Sounds like lovely friend is getting a bit of a reality check right now. They do say that you really 'see' someone when you go on holiday with them...

YANBU!

Actually the only person as rude as FOF I've ever encountered was Canadian. Sorry Canadians

Is her name goldilocks????

No hairdryer and no shower at that time.
Give her a time deadline.
Shes rude.

I have lived in London for thirty years and shower in the mornings. It’s not that dirty here! I don’t work on a farm or coal mine so all is ok. Some on MN are so so weird about cleanliness.

My family are Irish we always arrive with gifts and give gifts when we leave if we stay over for more than one night.
We also pay for meals and drinks when / if we go out as an extra Thankyou.
We would never arrive empty handed.

It's cos of the weather. If you spent a day in London, NYC or any large polluted city in the heat then headed home and took your sandals off you would immediately understand why.

Why didn't she just hang her towel to re-use today?

Wasteful twat.

I lived and worked in London for 15 years, and the water was always brown with dirt when I washed my hair. Now I live in rural Devon where literally five (5) cars a day go by and you can smell their exhaust for a full 5 minutes after they’ve gone, and even if I don’t wash my hair for a fortnight (it has been known, I have curly hair that doesn’t much like being shampooed) the rinsing water is always clear.

Cities are dirty. I love them, but they’re dirty.

Your nice friend seems absolutely lovely but perhaps has been love bombed by this CFF and is now seeing the reality?
I'm picking up on some details like the whirlwind friendship, which is interesting, how did that come about?

Born and bred Londoner now living just outside m25 . Shower every morning before work (if I’m in the office. The days I wfh I’m a bit more skanky 🤣) then have a nice relaxing soak in the bath most evenings to wind down, sooth my achy body and generally relax.

Often I have a quick bath if I’ve had a night out, whatever time I get in to soak my poor danced out feet. But I live on my own so no one disturbed

Lived and worked in London for 40 years, never have black snot, never produce brown water when washing my hair. (But yes, polluted air is an issue)

I do have a quick shower in the evening if it has been hot and v sweaty, either in the city or on a weekend walk, if I have been on the sea or on the beach on a day out, or any other city or rural day that has made me feel sticky or grubby. One of the things I like to wash off before getting it in my bedding is pollen

But never for an hour.

On behalf of Canadians, I'm sorry. 🇨🇦

Tell them to f* off!