AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

[houseguesthair]

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

Oh come on OP. Give her a nudge! “Sorry cheekyfucker, we’re having drinks in here soon! You’ll probably be more comfortable in the bedroom. Nighty night”.

Wait, are good friend and CFF a couple? Or am I just editorialising?

Agree her sleeping in the living room is a power play. How many more nights are they supposed to be staying?

Has Her Majesty retired to her quarters for the evening?

.

Not unreasonable at all.

And she could have dried her hair with a towel if she really needed to wash it at that time of night.

She sounds incredibly rude and inconsiderate.

I'm Irish and I worked years ago with a south-east asian guy (from Taiwan but when networking would say "us guys from south-east Asia need to stick together") and we had the most wonderful conversation over lunch about how americans ask you if you want tea and if you say no, they accept that as an answer! We were both baffled at this approach :)

I’m always happy for you to stay, and you usually bring lovely people.
Are you happy for her to bring a selection of random people to stay in your home for free, nice or otherwise?

She sounds a bit of a user, quite frankly.

More towels! Has she not reused last nights towels!? Thats wrong on so many levels.

CF had a key to let herself into your flat? 😱

OP, your lovely friend is a bit of a CF bringing a new friend that she clearly wants to impress at your expense.

Her taking over the sitting room for a snooze and using more fresh towels puts her firmly into CF territory.

I wouldn't be impressed at all.
Your boundaries have evaporated and you are being taken for a bit of a mug by them both.

She should have insisted it was a 5 minute shower and no more.

They are both rude and treating you like a bit of a mug, which is a shame, you don't deserve it.

Eaten bread is quickly forgotten!

Ibthink your friend has forgotten just how big a favour you are doing her.

I've asked people to leave for less.

They're piss taking twats and I would have told them to leave this morning.

sorry has shejust been in all day or let herself in-tell me you didnt give her a key

I’ll update properly tomorrow - but for now Cheeky fucker friend has gone to her cousins - lovely friend is pretty mortified at her behaviour and is now relieved she’s gone . Mutual friend being here was a godsend. And we’re going to have a lovely weekend.

I agree. I'm not sure lovely friend is as lovely as OP makes out. Despite inflicting CF guest on OP, she made it clear to OP that she didn't want to fork out for paid accommodation. The decent thing to do would have been to clear out immediately, apologising profusely to OP as she pushed her shitty friend out of the door and out of her life.

You're too nice, OP. You deserve lovelier friends.

Wow…RESULT 🎉🍾👏

A hairdryer keeping the neighbours awake? I really don't think so. It's white mouse, you are being utterly ridiculous!

Just quickly - lovely friend is lovely - and to be fair I take as many randoms to hers as she does to mine. As a bonus her parents also put me up in China with another friend for 10 days pre Covid. I think she had quite an infatuation with CF friend - it happens to all of us to make bad choices and get sucked up by not great people. She met cheeky fucker at a hobby class she started just as she was getting divorced. She’d moved to the country she lives in now with her ex husband who is from there just before Covid and so doesn’t have a great social circle there as everyone she knew was part of his “group”. I can understand why she clicked with another foreign woman sharing the same hobby … She is many things but not a piss taker. Cheeky fucker friend is just a snobby arrogant cow with champagne taste and a water budget….

Lmao what a brilliant thread, I've been engrossed for two hours, better than any TV program! I cannot wait for tomorrow's update! In UK an hour's shower and a ten minute blow-dry would probably cost £5. Stay by all means but she shouldn't be costing YOU £5+ a day for the privilege. A quick shower without a hair wash doesn't take longer than five minutes and that's all it should have taken but to spend an hour In the shower then start blowing and styling afterwards is shameful AND shameless!! I'm also glad you didn't kick the nice friend out because I think once you calmed down you would feel bad for her when it should have been the cheeky fkr feeling bad.Lol tomorrow we all want a blow by blow account of how it all played out 😏😆 goodnight my net friends thanks for a great evening n see y'all tomorrow!! Ps rudest people I ever met were the Russians on holiday in Egypt. They pushed and shoved their way through the restaurant and bar and follen their played to the brim with food and cakes and after eating a few bites left it all. The Egyptian workers were busses in on a four night rota they said they'd never seen a wasteful society like that before and said they could only dream of eating such luxury puddings. They despised them whilst throwing away tons of food every week..... The friendliest nation were the Turkish people and the Egyptian people are exquisite to look at.....all of them!

A shower for an hour is ridiculous!
8 minutes is how long I spend, including squeegeeing down the tiles/glass as well afterwards. ..So time spent actually under the noisy expensive warm water- 4 mins if that.

An hour?? What is she doing in there!

With windows open, eg, some Parisian Courtyards, eminently possible.
It's 30 degs C where OP is.

Hairdyers are incredibly noisy, I hear my neighbours hairdryer if they use it in a certain room in their house.

Have a very wonderful weekend, OP, and thank you for the update!

You have been so tolerant.
I would say what you planned but I would allow the guests to stay if they will abide the no undue noise after 10.00 pm stipulation.
To suddenly cause a good friend to look for somewhere to stay in a busy city is too rude and dangerous.

Question your friend as to what she thinks is a sustainable cut off time at night for noise around the house. Explain that people work and need their sleep. She will see sense.
Point out that her friend is free to wash and dry her hair but at an hour that means the noise will not disturb sleepers.

Next time your friend wants to stay remind her of her noisy guest and that this time she will be asked to leave if they are too noisy.

I am invested and need to know how it came about that CFF left.

Ditto! Am eagerly awaiting the full update from OP!

Riveting thread
So glad she has gone.