Page 10 | To knock on neighbours door and ask for dinner?

listsandbudgets · 2023-06-08T17:04:37+00:00

(Light hearted!) I'm so hungry, really tired, kids and dp are out, no idea what I'm eating and whatever it is they are cooking smells absolutely blooming fantastic. The smell is wafting through all the windows... It's tangy and savoury and has some kind of wonderful spice hanging around the edges. AIBU if I pop round with a plate and ask them to fill it with whatever they're having...or should I settle for a fish finger sandwich?

PearlyShamps · 10/06/2023 16:44

caun · 08/06/2023 18:49

When I worked in A&E as a newly graduated nurse, the Mom of one of our doctors used bring in a few trays of freshly cooked onion bhajis and samosas at midnight. I asked her for the recipe and she invited me to dinner on my day off. Her son and I are now happily married with 2 teenagers😀

Love this!! ❤️

MickyShell · 10/06/2023 17:12

It is imperative that when finished with the tupperware that you put something in it to return it to them. Not only would it be considered rude to return dish empty, this will ensure the start of a beautiful neighbourship where you get regularly fed with excellent food. It doesn't necessarily have to be a homemade dish - you can return with fruit or sweet treats for the kids. We have this going with our neighbours and it's lovely. Sometimes we hang onto dish for ages as nothing good to put into it but they don't seem to mind. At their church they were told not to share food with British people as we don't like it and they were thrilled when they realised that, at least for us, it wasn't true.

limitedperiodonly · 10/06/2023 18:28

Lolaandbehold · 10/06/2023 08:26

Bit confused. They own a business I frequent and I have a good rapport with the owner.
I guess it does exist to serve customers? The lovely owner once insisted I sample some of her Vietnamese cooking and insisted I take it home in a Tupperware container. I returned the container the following week when I went back. I also tip generously when I go there. Not quite sure what your point is.

Anyway, happy Saturday to you and I hope the sun is shining where you are.

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I suppose it is that some people want to escape the stereotype of charming people who give customers food in Tupperware boxes and just want to get on with the business of like, running a business.

TheHandbag · 10/06/2023 18:48

MickyShell · 10/06/2023 17:12

It is imperative that when finished with the tupperware that you put something in it to return it to them. Not only would it be considered rude to return dish empty, this will ensure the start of a beautiful neighbourship where you get regularly fed with excellent food. It doesn't necessarily have to be a homemade dish - you can return with fruit or sweet treats for the kids. We have this going with our neighbours and it's lovely. Sometimes we hang onto dish for ages as nothing good to put into it but they don't seem to mind. At their church they were told not to share food with British people as we don't like it and they were thrilled when they realised that, at least for us, it wasn't true.

My culture has this tradition as well. My mum always put something in the dish before returning. Sometimes it was a home baked cake, sometimes it was a box of roses & sometimes curry.

limitedperiodonly · 10/06/2023 19:06

TheHandbag · 10/06/2023 18:48

My culture has this tradition as well. My mum always put something in the dish before returning. Sometimes it was a home baked cake, sometimes it was a box of roses & sometimes curry.

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It's a woman thing, isn't it? No matter whatever culture we come from, we have to do people favours.

steppemum · 10/06/2023 20:47

limitedperiodonly · 10/06/2023 19:06

It's a woman thing, isn't it? No matter whatever culture we come from, we have to do people favours.

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now who is stereotyping?
That is standard in every culture that I have lived in (about 5) and it is done by men and women.

Gosh it is almost as if you are trying to find a flaw in this nice thread of sharing food and hmmm, there isn't one?

Lickedmylollyandneversaidsorry · 10/06/2023 21:02

Reminds me of the time I commented on an Indian neighbours cooking and she offered to bring some round one time and I didn't really think to much of it.
Fast forward to the following Sunday evening and I was very drunk after going pub for lunch (which turned into drinking session!) and I was on the toilet having a number 2 and smoking a fag and she literally burst through my bathroom door with a tub of Sag paneer and chana. She saw me in from her window and ran down to catch me and knocked and I didn't answer because I had my headphones on and was taking a shit!

I don't know who was more embarrassed. She also ran the local shop in a small area so I couldn't avoid her after either!!

limitedperiodonly · 10/06/2023 22:10

steppemum · 10/06/2023 20:47

now who is stereotyping?
That is standard in every culture that I have lived in (about 5) and it is done by men and women.

Gosh it is almost as if you are trying to find a flaw in this nice thread of sharing food and hmmm, there isn't one?

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No it is not. People do each other favours but it's women who cook and do the washing up and return things with a homebaked cake, some roses or a curry. That's not my habit. It seems like a faff.

I like cooking. I appreciate other people's. That is almost exclusively done by other women except at barbecues, when it is performed by men on a summer Sunday.

I don't care how many cultures you've lived in. Am I meant to be impressed by your sophistication? It's nice when people cook good food, it's tiresome and performative when people make a big song and dance about gorgeous cooking smells from next door.

Shhhquirrel · 10/06/2023 22:27

limitedperiodonly · 10/06/2023 22:10

No it is not. People do each other favours but it's women who cook and do the washing up and return things with a homebaked cake, some roses or a curry. That's not my habit. It seems like a faff.

I like cooking. I appreciate other people's. That is almost exclusively done by other women except at barbecues, when it is performed by men on a summer Sunday.

I don't care how many cultures you've lived in. Am I meant to be impressed by your sophistication? It's nice when people cook good food, it's tiresome and performative when people make a big song and dance about gorgeous cooking smells from next door.

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it's tiresome and performative when people make a big song and dance about gorgeous cooking smells from next door

Oh do behave 🙄

IncognitoMam · 10/06/2023 23:27

My dh does most of the cooking and feeds our friends and family. My close friends dhs cook too.

There's never any left to take home. 🐷

Wallabyone · 10/06/2023 23:50

caun · 08/06/2023 18:49

When I worked in A&E as a newly graduated nurse, the Mom of one of our doctors used bring in a few trays of freshly cooked onion bhajis and samosas at midnight. I asked her for the recipe and she invited me to dinner on my day off. Her son and I are now happily married with 2 teenagers😀

Love this

BigcatLittlecat · 11/06/2023 00:06

My parents have lived next door to a family who originally came from Pakistan for 40 years. The older generation have passed but one of the sons and his family live there now. They are excellent neighbours. When my Dad was ill the son who's in his 50's now kneeled behind my Dad on his bed so he would be sat up to take his medicine as he was too weak himself.
Anyway they always send food in, but once my mum was in hospital for 6 weeks and my Dad would get back from visiting around 8.15. Every night when they heard the door go, they would be round with dinner for my Dad. Every night!
They are amazing neighbours, but that story is so kind.

Orders76 · 11/06/2023 00:26

I have no idea what a jolluf is ( but would love a veggie recipe)

Wallabyone · 11/06/2023 00:28

I've just read the whole thread-what a delight!
Lovely, heartwarming stories ❤️ I love to bake, and often share cakes and biscuits with my neighbours; they're lovely!

frazzledasarock · 11/06/2023 01:16

It is tradition in south Asian cultures to return food containers with a gift of food in return. My mum and aunty used to do it to each other too not just amongst friends.

I don’t send food to my neighbours as a poster once on MN wrote how insulted and disgusting she felt for Muslim people to send plates of ‘leftovers’ to their neighbours during Ramadan.

During Ramadan food is cooked fresh in the evening so we can break fast and usually it’s special food and everyone shares, I used to send plates to my neighbours too to share the food. Because it felt so much more festive including everyone. But I wouldn’t want anyone thinking I was giving them let overs.

if a neighbour told me they liked the smell of my food I absolutely would share with them. And be delighted to do so.

AmIbeingTreasonable · 11/06/2023 05:34

BigcatLittlecat · 11/06/2023 00:06

My parents have lived next door to a family who originally came from Pakistan for 40 years. The older generation have passed but one of the sons and his family live there now. They are excellent neighbours. When my Dad was ill the son who's in his 50's now kneeled behind my Dad on his bed so he would be sat up to take his medicine as he was too weak himself.
Anyway they always send food in, but once my mum was in hospital for 6 weeks and my Dad would get back from visiting around 8.15. Every night when they heard the door go, they would be round with dinner for my Dad. Every night!
They are amazing neighbours, but that story is so kind.

How lovely, I seem to have something in my eye😍

Ukrainebaby23 · 11/06/2023 09:13

Our previous neighbours (now moved out sadly, have awful CF instead 😢) told us we were the best neighbours they'd ever had all we did was say hi and offer to carry a bag to the door occasionally. They were mixed heritage, Asian and East European, just so chuffed we talked to them like humans apparently. Your neighbours would likely be so pleased you called, and if its convenient, feed you and if not, send a plate round. Good neighbours are priceless.

LunaTheCat · 11/06/2023 11:09

This s such a lovely thread… food brings people together… I am going to try bring more people together with food from now on,
My late sister was a great cook and it would be a fine homage to her.
thankyou! .. beautiful, life enhancing tales of humans coming together.

limitedperiodonly · 11/06/2023 18:04

Shhhquirrel · 10/06/2023 22:27

it's tiresome and performative when people make a big song and dance about gorgeous cooking smells from next door

Oh do behave 🙄

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Why do you think I should behave because I don't agree with you?

It is normal for people of all backgrounds to cook nice food. I can do it. It's also normal for some people to be terrible cooks or just indifferent ones wherever they come from and that is all right too.

Sometimes they share things and sometimes you wish they wouldn't - I still remember the mince pies someone brought in to my office at Christmas 1985 - raw pastry and mouldy filling. I wouldn't have thought that sugary mince with dried fruit could go mouldy, but it can.

But I still swallowed a bite all the same because it was her culture and it would have been rude of me to complain. It was hard not to retch though.

I've had some nice and also some awful samosas from my time working with Bangladeshi families in East London. That's okay. My focus wasn't on the ladies' cooking skills. If it was, I wouldn't be doing my job properly.

It's what you do, isn't it? Most people are adequate cooks. Going overboard about it would be a bit like, well going overboard, wouldn't it?