Lies you tell your kids (lighthearted!)

[JeremyBeadlesLobsterHands]

Today I told DS we had run out of croissants. We hadn’t, but we only had one left and I really wanted it. I’m sat eating it now and it’s the best croissant I’ve ever had.

anyone else want to confess their little white lies they’ve told their kids?

No, you can't have this food, it's too spicy 😈

We don't have tickets for that today sweetie...

This could be a playground, a cafe, a mini golf... anything that could TECHNICALLY require tickets, but almost definitely does not.

He's five now, so I think he might clock on soon....

Such an excellent idea

That the ice cream man turns into the milkman at night. It’s come in handy when the chimes are going off outside the bedroom window at story time!

After my son fell over and grazed his knee quite badly, I told him broccoli would help it heal more quickly.

He had broccoli with his tea four times that week.

I think my parenting career peaked when I told them they might find £1 if they pull a weed out. Hid a couple for authenticity and now have two very conscientious gardeners and a weed free garden.

When the ice cream man puts on his music, it means he’s run out of ice cream.

My stepdad (when I was still quite little & fairly gullible 3/4 yo) used to tell me they played the music when they had run out of ice cream 😂😂

That I love them

kidding, kidding

@FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee technically you weren't lying. Broccoli is a good source of vitamin c, a deficiency of which can slow wound healing

Mummy's ipad doesn't have Cocomelon.

This is incredible 😂 doubt it would work on my teenagers, think I’ve missed the boat there! But bravo 👏 😆

That is the best thing I’ve ever heard 😂

When I forgot to exchange DD's tooth that she'd left under her pillow for money one time, DH told her the next day that the tooth was still there because the tooth fairy doesn't work on a Wednesday, it was her night off!

Eating rocket makes you grow like a rocket /run as fast as a rocket. Mine all love salad to this day!

The money is going to runout on the parking. When I want to leave somewhere and they don't!

My parents used to say that if we lost a tooth after 8pm. We had to wait as she'd already be out on her rounds.
Actually it meant they'd runout of change.😁

"Mummy has to wee" is my go to for everything, they don't challenge it. If we need to leave the park and they ask why - "mummy needs a wee". If they want a playdate after school and I can't be arsed - "mummy needs a wee". Also said every night after reading 3 books, talking about their day for 20 minutes, several songs... it's the only way they'll let me leave their rooms at bed time. I leave for 10 mins and they're always sound asleep when I go back in so it works.

Peppa pig doesn't work on our TV. I've managed to never have to play a single episode but my 3 year old did suggest we get a new TV as a solution

Our TV 'runs out' of programmes, and then we can't watch another episode because they're 'all gone'.

This wouldn't work with today's TV schedules, but a friend of mine convinced her son that after children's programmes in the afternoon, came the evening news, which was a bit boring, so let's not bother, after which programmes stopped.
She kept this up until he was of an age to hear little schoolfriends talking about programmes hadn't realised existed.....
I think she got the idea from what happened back in the mists of time, when the BBC paused after children's programmes, resuming when young children were presumably still in bed.
The programme which finally broke this pattern was a rock'n'roll show, "The Six-Five Special".

Youtube "didn't work in this town" in our recent holiday home. It was bliss!

I love the gardening one too, I might have to try that!

My daughter likes to listen to "Barbie Girl" by Aqua ON REPEAT - I have since told her if she continues to listen to it in this manner (on repeat times 200000) then mummy will get in trouble with the Council.

It has since stopped.

I feel no guilt.

Pepsi Max was special medicine from the Dr and poisonous to children.

Some shop keepers electrified the shelves, so it's beat not to touch anything

Cats have secret voices that only mummies can hear and they tell mummies everything.

I was a Ninja and my Ninja training means I could take out a bear, a giant snake and an out of control tractor ( these items were requested) When basically a I was knackered mum of twins on the wrong side of the BMI scale.

Loads more but I can't remember them now. Funny as now they are 16 and they think think the things they believed was hilarious.