Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lies you tell your kids (lighthearted!)

163 replies

JeremyBeadlesLobsterHands · 08/06/2023 09:25

Today I told DS we had run out of croissants. We hadn’t, but we only had one left and I really wanted it. I’m sat eating it now and it’s the best croissant I’ve ever had.

anyone else want to confess their little white lies they’ve told their kids?

OP posts:
caringcarer · 09/06/2023 02:11

My In-laws put up loads of Xmas lights each year. I managed to convince DS that his Nanny was one of Santa's helpers. She is amazing at wrapping presents quickly and he saw her and was amazed. After that each year I reminded him if he was very good I could ask Nanny to tell Santa how good he had been but if he was naughty I might have to tell Nanny that too. He chose to be good. Nanny played along too.

Copperas · 09/06/2023 05:17

That everything was closed on bank holidays so people could stay home and play

HelebethH · 09/06/2023 07:12

I know you don't like sweetcorn so I have given you yellow peas. It worked every time.

Sunshine275 · 09/06/2023 07:24

If they lie their tongues turn purple.

HAF1119 · 09/06/2023 07:32

I probably tell far too many lies...

We need to tidy all toys in boxes before bed or the hoover will come out and eat them

When he had a time of keep coming out of his room a bit scared, got a colour changing night light and said it has fairies in it to keep him safe

The tv has 'run out' of that programme

That places he wants to go that I don't want to are 'closed' that day

Once it gets past a certain time and I don't want to tidy again I say the toys are sleeping for the night and need rest or they won't be able to play tomorrow

I've regularly 'run out of money' and can't buy what's being asked for - to be fair sort of true, I would run out if I was to ever buy all the stuff asked for!

Oh.. I say that if we get to school late they won't let us in so we are always on time

And when he says he wants X when I've cooked Y and I feel too tired for the battle I just say X is in there it just looks different.

If you eat more than one of those it would make you poorly....

Some of these won't work soon I'm sure

LittleMG · 09/06/2023 07:39

Near where we live some kids have made a swing out of a tyre and obviously my son wants to go on it when we walk past. My husband didn’t want to stop in their walk so he told my son there was dog poo on 😂 every time we drive or walk past my son goes eww the dog poo swing!

EvilLynz26 · 09/06/2023 07:59

Beyondbaffled · 08/06/2023 09:46

I think my parenting career peaked when I told them they might find £1 if they pull a weed out. Hid a couple for authenticity and now have two very conscientious gardeners and a weed free garden.

Well Done Clapping GIF by MOODMAN

I mean..

celticprincess · 09/06/2023 08:00

RubiesAndRaindrops · 08/06/2023 10:00

When I forgot to exchange DD's tooth that she'd left under her pillow for money one time, DH told her the next day that the tooth was still there because the tooth fairy doesn't work on a Wednesday, it was her night off!

I had this situation and told her that she got up too early and that the tooth fairy was still doing her rounds. I then snuck a pound under her pillow whilst she was having breakfast and she found it when she went back to get dressed. Worked a few times as I was terrible at remembering.

EvilLynz26 · 09/06/2023 08:02

That I am the thing monsters are scared of. I eat them if they ever come near our house. That's why we have such a low occurrence of monster sightings in our house.

IamAlso4eels · 09/06/2023 08:08

I call dandelion fluff faeries too, even my big DC still call them that. They know they're really seeds but the name stuck. When you get a reflection on the ceiling from a watch face or a mirror catching the light? That's a faerie too.

McDonald's/Starbucks is closed.

I've been known to say I've had a glass of wine when DC want to go somewhere and I don't want to. Usually in connection to McDonald's or Starbucks when DC will ask at 8 or 9pm "can we get drive thru?" oh sorry, I just finished a glass of wine... I don't even drink wine.

Saw this elsewhere yesterday and it's definitely true.

Lies you tell your kids (lighthearted!)
WhatTheHeckyPeck · 09/06/2023 08:09

DD is an adult now, but when she was at the non-stop chatter stage, I used to tell her that everyone had a million words to last all their life and if she didn't stop then she would run out by the time she was ( whatever age was 2 years above hers). Worked a treat and I would get at least an hour of peace every day.

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 09/06/2023 09:09

That I don't know why cocomelon isn't on our Netflix anymore, when actually I went into the account and specifically blocked it so it doesn't show up.

Robinni · 09/06/2023 09:14

We were along the coast recently…

Me: No, we can’t go on the beach today, the tide has come in and there could be quicksand, look there’s the sign (genuinely was, with beach roped off).

DC: Maybe it’s the sharks again?

Me: What?

DC: Remember the last time we were at the beach and we had to leave because the sharks came….

😂🦈

MuddyBadge · 09/06/2023 09:18

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 09/06/2023 09:09

That I don't know why cocomelon isn't on our Netflix anymore, when actually I went into the account and specifically blocked it so it doesn't show up.

I wasn't aware that was something a person could do!

Maddy70 · 09/06/2023 09:19

You only have so many words in your lifetime so you don't want to use them all up at once

Realfastfoodie · 09/06/2023 09:33

“Bing is asleep now.”

and later when that stopped working

“The TV and iPad and everything we own are all broken and no longer get Bing.”

Leftcoilingsnail · 09/06/2023 09:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mariposista · 09/06/2023 09:41

caringcarer · 09/06/2023 02:11

My In-laws put up loads of Xmas lights each year. I managed to convince DS that his Nanny was one of Santa's helpers. She is amazing at wrapping presents quickly and he saw her and was amazed. After that each year I reminded him if he was very good I could ask Nanny to tell Santa how good he had been but if he was naughty I might have to tell Nanny that too. He chose to be good. Nanny played along too.

This is really cute!

krne · 09/06/2023 09:45

That the local factory with a great big chimney was a cloud making machine - think I kept that going too long as they are now 11 and 13 and believed it until very recently 🤣
That the hazard button in the car was for ejector seats.
If ever I forgot the tooth fairy, it was because their room was too messy and she wouldn't come back until it was tidy - worked every time!

ZacharinaQuack · 09/06/2023 09:49

I don't lie about food but I do rename it so my 2 year old will find it acceptable: 'NO! NO PIE! I don't like it!' 'Would you like some meat, with sauce and a piece of yummy pastry?' 'Yes please!' Chickpea curry = 'beans with brown sauce'.

ZacharinaQuack · 09/06/2023 09:57

SunnySaturdayMorning · 08/06/2023 20:20

With the exception of things like Father Christmas, I don’t generally lie to my kids. I don’t think it’s healthy and it’s a temporary easy way out.

I’d rather them have the tantrum once or twice and learn that they can’t do X because of Y or have A because of B than lie.

I have a two year old, so I get multiple opportunities per day to teach him to deal with frustration and disappointment, and help him learn he can't have everything he wants. If a few harmless - and also hilarious - lies are going to head off the more avoidable tantrums, everyone has a nicer time and I can focus my efforts on things that actually matter.

zoomiesdrivememad · 09/06/2023 10:03

Not necessarily a lie but if we ever go to a toy store and my son wants something, I get him to smile holding whatever it is & I take a picture and 'send it to the birthday fairies' so they know what he wants.

Absolutely wildly made up but he loves it and stops the tantrum of why he cant have it at that time.

I then also have a camera roll of things he would like for his birthday when the time comes 😂

EmeraldPanda · 09/06/2023 10:07

This is a great idea

InMySpareTime · 09/06/2023 10:20

I told my early-waking DCs that the TV box only works after I put the code in each morning, I'd make them leave the room while I entered the code.
Actually there was a power button on the back of the box. It took them 5 years to figure that out and by then they weren't getting up so early anyway.

If I didn't want to do something I'd tell DCs "The Man" said it wasn't allowed. They never asked who The Man might be, which is just as well.

When you eat crusts they sink to your feet and make you taller. It must have worked because they're taller than me now.

That I have a special "sat nav" radar in my head so I always know where they are.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 09/06/2023 10:37

The vacuum cleaner is only for adults to use, not for children but if you are really really careful I will let you vacuum the living room.