Lies you tell your kids (lighthearted!)

[JeremyBeadlesLobsterHands]

Today I told DS we had run out of croissants. We hadn’t, but we only had one left and I really wanted it. I’m sat eating it now and it’s the best croissant I’ve ever had.

anyone else want to confess their little white lies they’ve told their kids?

There is always one.

Could you not see the 'lighthearted' from the seat up on your high horse?

I tell mine the ice cream van is the music van that drives around to make people happy with the lovely music. The ice cream van doesn't drive near people's houses because that would be very silly.

I think my parenting career peaked when I told them they might find £1 if they pull a weed out. Hid a couple for authenticity and now have two very conscientious gardeners and a weed free garden.

Hid a couple for authenticity, 🤣🤣🤣

I told mine that we couldn’t get a dog because they didn’t feed the pets they had already very well. That they have very small pets that live in their stomach that only eat fruit but mainly veg and although they might not like peas broccoli etc it was essential for their pets lol

If you don’t eat your dinner the cat will eat it.

quick tidy up before the cat does wee wees on your toys! ( she did once so only a part white lie 😂)

The water in the bath needs to go back to the fish.
He’s 3 and would stay in the bath all night if I let him.

“When you lie, your nose turns red”

For a while, my dc used to cover their noses whilst telling lies, and was then shocked I figured it out

My DCs are 9 and 7yo, and still believe my phone doesn't have YouTube/can't access it. Daddy was silly enough to use it frequently as a lazy babysitter when they were younger, and now regularly discovers his phone missing/being used to watch back-2-back 80s pop videos. Mine is never touched because they also understand touching Mummy's will cause fire and brimstone to rain down upon them without YouTube, what's the point?

We also used to prefix other protein with chicken to get DCs to eat it eg chicken-fish, chicken-beef, chicken-tofu. It worked a treat!

For an easy life, same as all the lies on this thread 😂

It was kind of true, anyway - the potty will soon be reappearing for her baby sister, so it sort of has been on an extended holiday. It's not gone forever.

Not my own children but my mum use to tell me when the ice cream van played music it was because the ice cream had run out 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you don't behave I will ring the hotel at at the airport that looks after naughty children while their parents go on holiday without them.

The park closes at lunchtime so we need to leave

Yes, I have rang the hotel to make sure there are no crabs on the beach.

I ordered it online and it's still not delivered

There's no WiFi here

🤷

I tell my DS that I’ll buy him whatever crap he sees advertised. Just a “yeah sure, I’ll grab it next time I’m at that shop”. Been doing this years and he hasn’t pulled me up on it yet…

My sister once told our niece there was a little man in the dishwasher who had to clean all the dishes and that's why it made so much noise.
She immediately demanded he be set free!

The toys don't work after 7pm 😂

Lots of these are genius!

DD, aged 4, asked how the dishwasher worked. Told her that every night a dragon came round, plugged his nostrils into a vent below the kitchen window and blew a load of hot steam in. She believed it for quite a long time. Her grandad also told her belly-buttons are created by God prodding babies in the middle to see if they’re ‘baked’ and ready to be delivered.

I’m going to try the weed trick😛

Wait till you're a Grandma- you'll be telling the truth then😉

We are vegetarian and my 4yo is very conscientious about asking if they can have something…

if they ever ask for something I don’t want them to have (sweets, ice cream etc…)

“oh dear those aren’t vegetarian ones”

been caught out a few times when I let them have that certain thing on a different occasion but managed to get away with it by saying I found the veggie version!

The wrong time.
Eg it's 8pm and bedtime. At 7pm.

The tooth fairy is allergic to cats
When I forgot and cat was asleep on her bed so I blamed him
I originally says the cat might have eaten the tooth fairy but she looked a bit upset so I backtracked!

When they were three or four if you fib, your tongue turns blue but only adults could see it. 🙈
and today, my 5yo son wanted the last almond magnum, own brand, and the only thing I got on the shopping delivery for myself. Now he's not allowed almonds, not allergic, but they don't suit him. I feel awful now but he's happy enough with a rocket lolly

@LuvSmallDogs we called them fairies too! For a long time I assumed everybody did. Though I don't remember ever thinking they were fairies: fairies are much more secretive than that (I used to leave stuff in my dolls' house for the fairies. Discovering the concept of evaporation was very disappointing).

I can't think of anything beyond the basic tooth fairy and FC. S1 managed to come up with Ribena being alcohol all by himself! (When I discovered this I had visions of him telling the nursery staff that Mummy drank a pint of pink alcohol with her lunch...)

We used to have a very sensitive smoke alarm in our kitchen. I told my DSs who were constantly fighting, especially when I was cooking and not closely supervising them, that it was a naughty child alarm.

In winter I once told my DC it was bedtime at 5:30pm. I still feel slightly bad, but I suspect we all needed an early night.