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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being ostracised by friends over kink at Pride

257 replies

TheEverlovingFork · 07/06/2023 20:07

Ok first of all I am a) completely willing to be told I'm in the wrong and b) bisexual myself, but I am also a fairly conservative churchgoer and I'm aware my feelings might be really outdated.

Basically some friends and I were talking about Pride month and I said I didn't agree with explicit kink in the public parades, like the more extreme leather fetish gear and puppy-play and so on, because I think that no matter what your orientation is, being proud of your sexual identity doesn't equate to simulating/practising it in public. If i saw a straight couple in leather underpants grinding on each other in public I would wonder if they were unwell.

I completely understand the being able to kiss and hold hands and show romantic affection in public as that is an unthinking privilege heterosexual people have and it should be ok for all LBGT people. I've come in for a lot of homophobic abuse myself over the years for holding hands with a partner. I really get that aspect.

I just don't feel explicit bedroom antics are ok in the parades, and now I'm being told I'm a reactionary and not supportive of the community. I'm a member of the community myself, am I supposed to meld into the new acceptable groupthink as a bisexual? Didn't get the memo.

Anyway, maybe I am just uptight because of my religious beliefs. I don't know. If i had children I would not want them to see some of the the things I've seen in parades.

OP posts:
IWasFunBeforeMum · 07/06/2023 20:08

Totally with you.

sIowhand · 07/06/2023 20:08

Yanbu

BarbaraVineFan · 07/06/2023 20:09

I'm bisexual and I agree with you too.

Nousernamesleftatall · 07/06/2023 20:09

I agree with you op. It’s ott.

GoodChat · 07/06/2023 20:09

You're not unreasonable. It's grossly inappropriate.

murasaki · 07/06/2023 20:10

Fully agree.

QueenOfHiraeth · 07/06/2023 20:11

I'm with you on this. Sadly there are vocal groups in many communities now who think everyone has to agree with them

dancinfeet · 07/06/2023 20:11

totally agree

bellac11 · 07/06/2023 20:12

I agree

Sissynova · 07/06/2023 20:13

Are you really being ostracised by friends for a very normal or opinion?
Seems odd to be good friends for a while and then this to suddenly come up.

Elysiaxo · 07/06/2023 20:13

I agree. I've seen people saying it's their 'culture' and it's 'homophobic' to disagree with these strange public displays.

How is displaying yourself in full fetish gear in public 'cultured' in any way? So bizarre.

catsnhats11 · 07/06/2023 20:13

Never understood the acceptance or need for the overtly sexual side of pride parades, I think some events are moving away from this given it's marketed more towards a family friendly event.

Climbles · 07/06/2023 20:15

I know a few gay people who do not like the over-sexualisation at pride. I can understand why people might want to be open about the things they have been shamed for but people in leather dog costumes around children is crossing a line.

polkadotpixie · 07/06/2023 20:15

I'm also bisexual, not remotely religious and completely agree with you

Gymrabbit · 07/06/2023 20:16

yanbu and there are many in the LGB community who agree with you.

Many older gay men are incensed by the way pride has been taken over by fetishists as there argument is they fought for years to be seen as exactly the same as everyone else just liking people of the same sex and this is taking us back to gay people being presented as inappropriate perverts.

people speaking out against this sort of thing include the people who originally protested at Stonewall such as Fred Sargeant.

TheEverlovingFork · 07/06/2023 20:17

Are you really being ostracised by friends for a very normal or opinion?
Seems odd to be good friends for a while and then this to suddenly come up.

I found out via whatsapp they're calling me 'Prude Month' and not inviting me to something this weekend. I thought we were good friends. Apparently sex is not for the street is not such a normal opinion anymore.

OP posts:
TheEverlovingFork · 07/06/2023 20:19

Although I'm almost impressed by 'Prude Month' to be honest 😂I'd rather be that than into some of the shit I've seen already this year.

OP posts:
TheEverlovingFork · 07/06/2023 20:19

Many older gay men are incensed by the way pride has been taken over by fetishists as there argument is they fought for years to be seen as exactly the same as everyone else just liking people of the same sex and this is taking us back to gay people being presented as inappropriate perverts.

Totally get this

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 07/06/2023 20:22

People can do whatever they like in private, but not in the street.
IMO.

Swrigh1234 · 07/06/2023 20:25

Why is this kind of behaviour more prevalent in same sex attracted people?

MistyGreenAndBlue · 07/06/2023 20:25

YANBU. I always thought Pride was about the right to love and be attracted to whomever you want. Not the right to parade your sexual proclivities in public.
I don't care at all what consenting adults do in private, but I don't want to see it thanks. It's nobody's business and public displays are an example of non consent. I did NOT consent to be a part of YOUR sex life/fetish thank you. Go away.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 07/06/2023 20:28

Swrigh1234 · 07/06/2023 20:25

Why is this kind of behaviour more prevalent in same sex attracted people?

It's not. It's more prevalent in men of any orientation.

You think those "pups" and "furries" and adult babies at Pride are all gay?
Nope!

ejbaxa · 07/06/2023 20:28

Your views are reasonable.

You could bin these "friends" off.

Restinggoddess · 07/06/2023 20:34

YANBU

When the kinks you describe become ‘normal’ in the public marches - where do people go next?
Over time there is always a need to celebrate / shock with something more - no idea where we go when the ‘puppies’ are seen as boring ( which they will with time)

Be a proud prude 😂

Keitharingsbitch · 07/06/2023 20:34

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