Being ostracised by friends over kink at Pride

[TheEverlovingFork]

Ok first of all I am a) completely willing to be told I'm in the wrong and b) bisexual myself, but I am also a fairly conservative churchgoer and I'm aware my feelings might be really outdated.

Basically some friends and I were talking about Pride month and I said I didn't agree with explicit kink in the public parades, like the more extreme leather fetish gear and puppy-play and so on, because I think that no matter what your orientation is, being proud of your sexual identity doesn't equate to simulating/practising it in public. If i saw a straight couple in leather underpants grinding on each other in public I would wonder if they were unwell.

I completely understand the being able to kiss and hold hands and show romantic affection in public as that is an unthinking privilege heterosexual people have and it should be ok for all LBGT people. I've come in for a lot of homophobic abuse myself over the years for holding hands with a partner. I really get that aspect.

I just don't feel explicit bedroom antics are ok in the parades, and now I'm being told I'm a reactionary and not supportive of the community. I'm a member of the community myself, am I supposed to meld into the new acceptable groupthink as a bisexual? Didn't get the memo.

Anyway, maybe I am just uptight because of my religious beliefs. I don't know. If i had children I would not want them to see some of the the things I've seen in parades.

Exactly this. The problem, as always, is men colonizing something loving and welcoming and making it all about their particular sexual fetishes.

That’s why the T was whacked on the end.

YANBU. My best friend is gay and he would agree with you.

Agree. Who wants to see a fat middle aged bloke in leather budgie smugglers pulling along a gimp on a dog chain. 😂

Google would say otherwise.

Yanbu op. So you’re a lesbian or bi. You’re part of the community. Are they?

Yup. And then the Q etc.etc.

Yanbu, if I were gay i’d avoid it like the plague.

My daughter has recently come out as gay and I would love to take her somewhere that celebrates people who happen to be same sex attracted, but I don't want to have to put up with middle-aged men in gimp or furry suits at the same event ... call me biased but there you go. Any ideas what we could do?

Really? My parents took me to Pride in the 80s and there were guys in leather chaps that left nothing to the imagination. Nobody is forcing you to go, if you don't want to see it then don't go.

Nobody is forcing you to share public toilets with men. If you don't want to then don't use them.

See, your argument doesn't really stand up.

Gay family member and his partner no longer attend pride due to this.

They just live a lovely 'normal ' life and don't understand how the fetishism has overtaken pride.

Funnily enough I just read this page of a book I'm reading, just seconds before I opened this thread...

I don’t think anyone should be flaunting their ‘fetishes’ in public.

This is probably outing but 20 years ago I attended a black tie lesbian and gay charity event where a lesbian walked around with her girlfriend on a leash. Even the group of very liberal gay men I was with found it inappropriate.

I live in a vair niace part of Surrey. Our town hosted Surrey Pride a few years back (which in general I was very pleased about - took the kids, and DH was there for work). There were several men dressed like this.

Happened to be in central London during Pride march one year, kids were still quite young, but I thought great, good opportunity for kids to experience this and have a discussion. All going well till we turned a corner and were greeting by the more extreme section of the parade. Must admit I did struggle for an explanation😆

I don't care what consenting adults do in private, but I don't want them doing it in public, especially if there are children around. I saw this news story earlier. Nothing to do with Pride, but the same sense of entitlement on view - 'I want to do this, so I will, and anybody who objects is a BIGOT'. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/punters-outraged-naked-couple-stroll-30164001

@MovinGroovinBarbieWhy is that relevant to this discussion? Or is it just that you'll take any opportunity to bash minorities?

YANBU. You’re not being uptight. You’re not being conservative.

Your views are completely normal.

These men pushing their fetishes and exhibitionism on to everyone else, particularly children, are a massive problem. I will be bringing my child up to be skeptical of Pride and to give the whole sorry mess a very wide berth.

And his Godfather is openly gay. But this shit is something else.

I think the over sexualisation of pride is so counter to its goals. Isn’t one of the mainstays of homophobia over-sexualising gay people and an unhealthy level of interest in their sexual behaviour? So why make pride so sexual rather than just make it a celebration of love and the infinite variety of human identity?

I think a lot of ordinary gay people hate what pride has become and there needs to be a celebration of LGB rights without all the other nonsense tacked on. They need a new flag !
when did we allow mens creepy fetishes to become part of the pride movement? its Not supposed to be there!

There’s no arguing with stupid OP.

If they can’t understand that a fetish or kink is a sexual preference and not a lifestyle then they are frankly idiots.

No one is saying don’t be loud and proud about your sexual interests, just retain the appropriate boundaries. Holding up a sign saying “Furry and proud” - sure. Dressing up in leather dog gear and giving out sweets to kids on the street, encouraging them to stroke you like a puppy - inappropriate.

I don't see the point of Pride at all. It's not the 1980s anymore - society in general accepts people of all orientations these days. It seems like we might as well be 'proud' of our hair colour or shoes size and go around waving flags and shouting about them - who even gives a flying fuck? Just crack on with your lives.

Four separate gay male friends have all felt repulsed by the pride marches for this reason. 2 of them said 'they'll be running out of letters of the alphabet and colours if this carries on'.

I really don’t need to know about or see strangers’(or friends’ or family members’) sexual activities. That makes me a prude? Don’t care.

YANBU.

I have friends (well, more acquaintances these days) who think that being open and public about your kinks is progressive and inclusive. I think they lack boundaries and/or respect for those of other people.