“Pride is about identity not sex”

[Chocchops72]

“Pride is about identity not sex”

i just read this statement on a Twitter thread and it really caught my attention. Surely the whole point of Pride is (or was?) to demand / celebrate the right of gay people to have sex, legally, with other people of the same sex as themselves?

As a straight adult human female I don’t have much skin in this game, but this phrase just stood out for me as really weird. Isn’t sexuality - linked to one’s sex - the whole point? It’s like walking the walk, not just talking the talk.

I mean, if it’s true then I could ‘identify’ as a lesbian (not sure how) without ever actually having sex with a woman? But I’d be able to say I’m a lesbian? Am I understanding this correctly?

Nope. Gender identity and sex are two different issues.

The confusion over what the word 'sex' means in some contexts is why 'gender' has come to replace it in some contexts.

Pride can't be all things to all people. It used to be only about sexuality, an adult event which very much focused on gay, bi lesbian and kinks and fetishism mostly within this scene. A very adult event.
Then trans too, switch to identity focus and bringing in families especially children. But not removing kink like furries with their Willie's out attracting kids with real puppies to stroke, butt dildo monkey etc.
And parents think they are teaching their kids inclusion because of the blurring between pride in sexuality as an adult and pride to be who you are for everyone, leading to some safeguarding fails.

I heard an interview a few weeks ago where a woman, who had only been in sexual relationships with men, but “identified as “Q”, said she has more of a place to celebrate pride than a gay man who voted conservative. She says LGBTQIA+++++ is a personal identity in which politics and beliefs are the most paramount. Not who you are sexually attracted to.

It was… interesting

I know, it's bonkers. I can't quite believe we're at a place where straight people with fetishes, or 'special identities' have sort of taken over the gay community, and it's just totally fine. Why are gay and lesbian people not angry about this.

No. Sex and gender are conflated because some people are lazy and stupid.

Yeah definitely. I might not have sex for years but I don’t who I am and that I am attracted to men and all the things I like. It’s about being yourself.

Well this is clearly not right. It’s never supposed to have been about fetishes and kinks.

Why?

That's like saying as someone that's not in the army, we shouldn't have an opinion about war.

Calling your sexuality an identity is just about straight men wanting to have sex with lesbians. They identify as a woman, are still attracted to women, so therefore feel that lesbians should have sex with them. It's chilling, and troubling that so many people think this is OK.

By identity they meant the right to exist. They don’t want it to be about sex, because sex and sexualisation is exactly what gets thrown against them by those that oppose their existence (including people on this forum, sad to say).

People who deny lgbt+ existence are absolutely obsessed with how those people have sex and/or their genitals. Usually for repressed and/or fetishised reasons, even though they won’t admit it. So understandably, LGBT+ people don’t want their cause to be reduced to sex.

sex, disability, race, pregnancy are biology, factual. Being gay is about sexuality and who you are attracted to, this is innate, involving nobody else.

the word gender is often used often when the word gendersterotypes would be better placed. Identifying requires other people to make a jump away from factual biological reality to subjective stereotypes. It requires others to buy in and go against their own knowledge base.

it’s very handy that the book opts to muddle disability, race, trans into one and the same. Smoke and mirrors.

I've always thought Pride was about visibility.
I don't go myself but have lesbian friends to whom Pride is really important and significant.
It may have started as an event for gay men and lesbian women but it's more than that now.
I do despair slightly of attitudes such as mentioned upthread of participants deciding who should attend based on political affiliation though. Kind of missing the point?

I dont even see how gender identity is really compatible with sexuality.

Either men and women are nothing but a collection of feelings inside your head and anyone can be anything or nothing including 2 males legitimatly calling themselves lesbians and straight people can identify into the mix.

Or men and women are words that have actual meanings and allow people to explain wirh clarity what is a big part of themselves and their lives.

But I dont think it can be both.

Who, currently, doesn’t have the right to exist?
What is your interpretation of the phrase “right to exist”?

I’m biromantic asexual.
I know I’m asexual, because I’ve never felt sexual attraction towards anyone. I haven’t and I don’t need to have sex just to proof I don’t want it, or feel pull to have it.

I know I’m biromantic, because I feel romantic attraction (want to be their patner, share and build a life with them) towards both, men and women.
But I’ve never dated, because no sex has been a dealbreaker. But I don’t need to have a relationship to know I felt that attraction and want to be with them, romantically as partners.

wars don't only affect the armed forces do they? It isn't even vaguely similar.

Being gay isn't just about the sex. Surely the Twitter message is about not having to hide your sexuality in day to day life etc.

I think it is something that straight people shouldn't have an opinion on really, at least not one that counts. I've not walked in the shoes of someone who is gay so I have no idea what it's like to encounter bigotry in my day to day life. I'm not going to contradict what a gay person tells me Pride is about.

Hang on. The right to exist? What nonsense.

Nobody is denying someone's right to exist. I think what you mean is that other people like me don't agree with their 'self chosen identity', i.e. I don't believe a man can be a woman, no matter what he believes about himself.
That doesn't mean he doesn't exist, it just means I don't agree with his self image, nor should I be forced to.

Again, this has little or nothing to do with the gay community, which is why organisations like the LGB Alliance have been set up to distance themselves from the TIAQ+++++

@GrinAndVomit dear lord, you can’t be serious? It was a crime to be a homosexual until relatively recently in this country. It’s still a crime in large swathes of the world. Gay and trans people get murdered for being gay or trans all the time. They face differences in equality in terms of healthcare, amongst a host of other things. How can you be so ignorant?

Nailed it.

You are mistakenly thinking this is an issue about gay people. It isn't.
The LGB is and was about sexual orientation, however the TQIA+++ is about fetishes and identities, which have nothing to do with sexual orientation. Many of the people in the 'trans' umbrella are straight.

It's a common trope thrown out there that if a person doesn't agree that a man dressing as a woman should be counted as a woman in all circumstances, then we are being transphobic and homophobic and are against the gay community somehow.

Look up autogynephilia, many of these men have fetishes where they are sexually attracted to themselves as women. We don't want them in our spaces.

We’re talking about pride events. Here in the uk.

Who does not have the right to exist here?

There are literally countries where you can get the death penalty for homosexual activity, that's a strong case against a person's human rights (the right to life) but what the anti sentiments on here are 'just' some of the human rights about freedom of expression (so you're oknwith curtailing those human rights) same old chestnut of sure be gay just so long as noone knows about it, in other words stop existing as a real person all thr time. Or are you suggesting that heterosexual men and women don't have a life outside their sex life?

Yes so it's about physical sexual attraction or the lack of said attraction. Nothing to do with personality or identity.

Actually, the question of ignorance is one I'd like to pose to you given that your posts are nonsensical.