Ex-wife booking holiday and abandoning daughter for 2 weeks?

[Xuzes]

Hi

I am going through a divorce and currently sharing childcare with my ex, I have our daughter 4 nights a week.

When I’ve taken our daughter away anywhere I have always consulted with her Mum first before booking anything.

My ex has told me today that she has decided to take a 2 week holiday without our daughter, without consulting me and I would have to look after our daughter for 14 potentially more days whilst she is away and I work full time which I cannot manage.

I would like to know where I stand in this situation and could I stop my ex from going if it put my daughters childcare at risk. Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.

So many posting just as a wind up, they're not on here to offer advice .

Repost OP and pretend you are the woman for more helpful replies

I agree they would be. However I think OP did not help by referring to it as a an abandoning the child and also wondering if there were a way to actually prevent a grown woman from going on hospital.

This 100%

"I don't think anyone's disputing that the OP should have been consulted but the emotive language is getting people's backs up."

The emotive language coming from a man is getting their backs up.

Op your ex wife is a cunt, I can see why she's an ex.

Hopefully you have time to sort things out for your work and childcare.
Keep a record of this for when you go to mediation.
The welfare of the child is the priority of the family court.
It is entirely reasonable to need notice of arrangements and to keep to those.

Exactly.

OP you should start a new thread saying Ex husband, the responses will be different then.

How old is the child? If she secondary age and doesn't need looking after as such then really I can't see the issue. If she younger then your wife should have liased with you over dates. Just booking it it wrong. But presumably she's going away with a new partner, and vetoing it completely would make you THAT ex for sure. So maybe offer some alternatives as to when would be convenient. The child is as much your responsibility as hers.

There was a similar thread not long ago about a dad booking a child free holiday without consulting the mum.

I’ll say the same thing here. She has acted appallingly and no divorced parent should book to go away without their child during their contact time without checking it’s ok (or arranging suitable childcare).

Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do. Obviously you can’t just refuse to look after your child if she goes (or you could… but then what would happen to them? Social services?). One parent acting selfishly doesn’t mean the other can too… your child is the priority here.

Say no. You don’t have to do it.

So the mum should have paid for childcare then. Not expected the OP to use up their own holiday allowance

If you are both going to share childcare successfully in the future any changes need to be planned and agreed in advance with your child’s welfare at the forefront. In this instance it looks as though your ex hasn’t done this.

OP won't be back, this is a fake post to show how different responses are when a post is negative towards a woman.

So mum will be paying for this childcare I take it? What if the op was not going to be around? What if they had their own holiday booked?

You can't force her to look after her child and more than she can force you.

How much notice have you got? You might have to consider applying for unpaid parental leave.

Then they'd both be shit parents fighting over who doesn't have their child.

I would assume that everyone would check before booking a holiday on their contact days. What if the op had booked a holiday already. These are the mums days then it is absolutely appalling that she just expects the op to be available.

Imagine if OP already 3 nights away booked assuming that the child would be with her mother .....

'Abandoning'

Strikes me someone wants to control the ex and never let them have a holiday. And now the ex has done that, they have to play the martyr.

The trick here is that you now have a two week break you can cash in at some point.

You can't dictate that she can't have a holiday. You just have to get the fuck on with it and work out how to manage it.

And the reverse is true.

Don't be a dick about it.

nothing in the OP to say @Xuzes is male btw. We are jumping to a lot of conclusions

I wonder if people on here would think it was ok for a parent just decided not to have their child in their contact days without notice. What if the OP just announced to ex that they wouldn't be having dd for the next few weeks because they just didn't want to. Because that is effectively what the ex has done. How is anyone saying this is ok?

It was a simple question asking what the specific problem was with childcare because in the OP it said the holiday was putting the childcare (not the child) at risk. So I wa asking at risk of what.

I wasn't suggesting anything.

@Marlowqueen

could you be any more smug?

life's not over yet, still time for him to do something you don't expect, like tell you he's filing divorce papers.

Quick look on advanced search for more context and:

1. Said child will be six around October.

1. The OP is a woman who gave birth.

1. She has previously referred to her partner as her DH.

So I'm assuming that this is a reverse or something? Maybe OP is the one who has booked the holiday without consultation?

If they were not zapped by the algorithm for being too sweary 😂