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Original poster

Deliberate Damage to sofa-wwyd

194 replies

Dailywalk · 06/06/2023 09:11

Over the weekend my dd (6) had a friend over. They had scissors out as they were doing some craft project. I noticed today the sofa has been damaged . It’s been snipped in a couple of places. Tiny cuts but still they are there.
My daughter didn’t know anything about the cuts and I believe her. She’s the kind of kid that would cry and guilt would make her confess if it was her.
I don’t want to confront anyone but I suspect the friend has done this deliberately when she’s been on her own in the room. I’m fully expecting backlash that they shouldn’t have been left alone with scissors but they often get on with craft projects or games when I’m in another room. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 06/06/2023 09:12

Nothing, you should have been watching them. And you can’t actually prove it was her

AndTheSurveySays · 06/06/2023 09:14

Nothing you can do. You didn't see her do it so can't be 100% sure.

justpushingthrough · 06/06/2023 09:15

Its a hard one OP

Since they are 6 and you weren't there id chalk it up to a learning curve for you to ensure it never happens again. I dont think you cant say to parent as you arent sure who caused it. Your child very well could have, kids shock you sometimes.

Do you have any insurance on the couch?

Backtoreality1 · 06/06/2023 09:16

You should have been supervising so nothing you can do....even if your daughter didn't do it, she was there and would have witnessed her friend, so maybe she's a better fibber than you think!

KetoQueen · 06/06/2023 09:16

Yeah it’s on you unfortunately although I feel your irritation

SherbetDips · 06/06/2023 09:16

Not to sounds rude but your lucky it was only the sofa, unfortunately you chose to leave two 6 year olds alone with scissors. I totally appreciate you know your daughter well enough to trust her alone and that’s absolutely fine. But unfortunately your daughters friend was not and this is consequence of that.

I’m really not attacking you as I’m a Nanny and some ex charges I could of left alone and some absolutely never in a million years

Bodenesque · 06/06/2023 09:17

Many years ago my son's friend of a similar age broke every Scalextric car by grinding them into the ground with his foot. We realized immediately that there were serious issues a d basically only had closely supervised meetings with him afterwards.A very serious event occurred with him and another child prior to moving schools. The mother was aware of the problems but struggled with him.

ThunderCow · 06/06/2023 09:18

Nothing you can do. Just one of those things. Next time they want to play with scissors say no sorry not after the sofa got snipped last time. They'll know you know.

SmileyClare · 06/06/2023 09:18

Just ask dd and her friends to be careful when cutting with scissors. Set out a covered table to do crafts on and supervise next time.

What replies were you expecting as this seems quite obvious?

sevenbyseven · 06/06/2023 09:18

Nothing you can do. I did something at a similar age when a friend was round and my mum 100% believed it wasn't me and told the friend off so don't assume you can be totally sure. (And no I still didn't confess Blush)

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 06/06/2023 09:18

It's very unlikely your daughter is telling the truth here. And that's normal, and not a dig.
However, obviously, you have no proof either way, and shouldn't have left them alone with scissors.

GoalShooter · 06/06/2023 09:19

So annoying OP, but there's not a lot you can do. I mean you could mention it to the other child's parents but you can't ask them for money towards a new sofa in these circumstances.

Lkgcsr · 06/06/2023 09:19

You can’t do anything; you don’t know anything for sure and it was a bad decision on your part to leave them there with scissors. I have a 6 year old and I’d trust my DD if I left the room but i wouldn’t leave a friend and I also wouldn’t have them in the lounge whete accidental damage can happen.

Icanbringmyselfflowers · 06/06/2023 09:20

Oh op, you know you can’t say I left two 6 year olds alone with scissors sharp enough to cut my sofa and think your kid did it deliberately as I believe mine, cmon now.

RudsyFarmer · 06/06/2023 09:21

You do nothing at all.

NeverThatSerious · 06/06/2023 09:22

You can’t do anything, of course. You don’t know who actually did it and you shouldn’t have left two young children alone with scissors in the first place. Play silly games, win silly prizes.

WimpoleHat · 06/06/2023 09:24

Oh - this is a tough one. I don’t think there’s a lot you can do other than not have that friend round to your house again - and have a calm but serious word with your DD about it. Can you stitch the cuts, or would that look worse? Don’t know about cut fabric, but we used a company when someone got yellow highlighter pen on ours; they got it out with remover, but one of the options was a sort of fabric graft from a less noticeable place on the fabric. Might that be an option?

Badbudgeter · 06/06/2023 09:25

Chuck a throw over it. You should of been supervising really. I had similar but just the tablecloth in the kitchen so easily replaced.

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/06/2023 09:25

I think it’s more likely that one or both of them were crafting on the sofa and accidentally snipped it without realising. A pain obviously, but just what happens when small kids are unsupervised.

SmileyClare · 06/06/2023 09:25

My friend and I gave each other haircuts at that age when we found some pinking shears at her house. My fringe was about half an inch long! 😂

Young children +sharp scissors+ no adults = trouble

It could well have been accidental. I snipped our duvet by accident when cutting some wrapping paper on the bed- easily done.

HadalyEve · 06/06/2023 09:25

I suspect the friend has done this deliberately when she’s been on her own in the room.

Wow way to jump to conclusions there and tear down a likely innocent 6yr old girl. You weren’t even there so have no idea if the damage was accidental or not. The embarrassment of causing damage would cause many children to pretend it didn’t happen and hope you never noticed.

This is ultimately your fault for leaving 6yr olds to play alone with scissors.

Fiddlerdragon · 06/06/2023 09:26

How do you imagine the confrontation going? Most parents are not going to want to believe their child would have done this, and are likely to defend them. And you’ve got absolutely no proof that it was their child, or whether they’d done it on purpose even if it was. I had similar with my neighbours son who comes to play with mine, they are also 6. He ruined my couch as they were colouring, he managed to get hold of a sharpie out of my own craft set and drew on a piece of a paper resting on the couch and the ink seeped through. I pointed it out and asked him not to do it again, I turned the cushion over to hide the damage. The next time he was over he did it again to the other side of the same cushion, it won’t come out and I can’t hide the damage now. I’m not going to his parents though as he’s 6, the sharpie came from my house and I left them unsupervised. I only let them play in the garden now 🤷🏼‍♀️

rainbowstardrops · 06/06/2023 09:30

You're asking people what they would do?

There's not much you can do! Apart from putting a throw over it. I know it's obvious but they should have been sat at a table doing crafts with someone supervising them.

I've known children of a similar age at my school, cutting each others hair!

Aquamarine1029 · 06/06/2023 09:31

I’m fully expecting backlash that they shouldn’t have been left alone with scissors

There's your answer.

Nordicrain · 06/06/2023 09:35

Tinkerbyebye · 06/06/2023 09:12

Nothing, you should have been watching them. And you can’t actually prove it was her

This.

If you came to me and told me my 6 yo had cut your sofa I would have been apologetic but ultimately it was up to you to supervise them.

My son had a friend over and they did some painting which went all over the sofa - something that has never happened when DS has been alone. However I wasn't there to see what happened as I was in the other room so... I wouldn't have dreamt of telling the friend's parents.