Deliberate Damage to sofa-wwyd

[Dailywalk]

Over the weekend my dd (6) had a friend over. They had scissors out as they were doing some craft project. I noticed today the sofa has been damaged . It’s been snipped in a couple of places. Tiny cuts but still they are there.
My daughter didn’t know anything about the cuts and I believe her. She’s the kind of kid that would cry and guilt would make her confess if it was her.
I don’t want to confront anyone but I suspect the friend has done this deliberately when she’s been on her own in the room. I’m fully expecting backlash that they shouldn’t have been left alone with scissors but they often get on with craft projects or games when I’m in another room. Wwyd?

Well obviously I wasn’t going to do that. I did say I wasn’t going to confront anyone about it.

Also, as a child me and my friend were left alone with scissors. I decided to cut my friend's hair. Not ideal, obviously. But again we should have been supervised.

I honestly think you’re over reacting massively and your thread title is very presumptuous!

Now you’ve confronted your own dd and made it clear who you think the “culprit” is, dd will probably tell her friend at school and she won’t come over again.

So what do you want people to tell you to do?

I didn’t jump to this conclusion without thinking about other scenarios first! My daughter was out of the room for a few minutes because she did come to see me in the kitchen. They had moved on from crafting at that stage and were watching tv. The scissors were still out.

There's absolutely no way you can be sure it was deliberate. Suck it up and learn.

I would not leave someone elses 6 yr old unsupervised with scissors or any sharp tools, glue guns, staplers, paints etc you can never know how well other kids been taught to use them safely. Fortunately nobody lost an eye, no blood was drawn, new hairstyles cut, or wood gouged /scratched etc.

So why are you asking people wwyd if you’re not considering confronting the child of parent? What answers are you looking for that we could give you?

? well that’s why I asked?

Literally the only thing you could do is tell the parents. People said don't do that, and you said "well I wasn't going to was I?". If you weren't consider it there's no other option but just to leave it so why ask what to do?

You're lucky you didn't have to call this child's parents to inform them she was injured. Honestly, this is Parenting 101. You don't allow small children to use scissors without being supervised, end of discussion.

This is daft. You didn’t notice the tiny cuts until much later.

If this was a crime investigation it’d be thrown out on lack of evidence. It’s all circumstantial I’m afraid 😬

Unfortunately it’s a lesson learned, when you have friends over you need t9 be more vigilant especially when they have scissors to play with.

This. At the age of six "deliberately" isn't the same measure as it is for an adult. Plus you have no proof and you should ahve been supervising young children with sharp objects!!!! Playing with crafts or games that don't have sharp cutting intsruments when you are not there is one thing - but you were being irresponsible and this is actually entirely uour own fault. Be thankful that it was only the sofa...

And if I was the other parent and you came to me with this, I would be fucking furious that you put my child at risk with your lack of supervision.

What do you think you should do?

Claim on your insurance if it's ruined would be my suggestion.

Yeah she deliberately trashed your sofa 🤣

Or your daughter accidentally cut it when she was crafting and didn't notice.

What on earth do you expect us to tell you to do?

No more scissors. If they ask, say since there was damage caused last time they aren't allowed them again.

There's nothing you can do here except put it down in the dos and don'ts list

Thanks for this. Sensible advice without the op bashing.

This.

You have no idea what really happened. All you can do is not leave your dd and this child alone with scissors again and watch out for potential clues your dd might have been involved too.

Children do not always tell the whole truth. Whether we like it or not it is part of their development to be economical with the truth to try to influence the outcome when there are consequences.

It’s a robust sofa not with flimsy fabric. There are three definite cuts and a fourth where the scissors haven’t got straight through. These are not accidental.
I’m I accept they shouldn’t have had scissors. Lesson learnt.

@Dailywalk

Id be angry!! Ethan myself for leaving 2 6 year olds alone with scissors, so I'd have a word with myself!

it happened in your house, with your scissors, on your watch.

I know you've asked us what we'd do, but there isn't anything to do, except learn from it. Don't leave kids alone with scissors, paint, felt pens etc that can damage your stuff.

your 6 year old hadn't previously done anything like it, it doesn't mean she won't. They get curious about what will happen if they just... & they get forgetful (putting pens down on cushions etc).

you either accept accidents will happen
ir keep the activity in a safer space and if you have a nice table you put an oil cloth down to try to prevent accidental damage.

This one is on you, sorry. I'd never allow mine to have scissors in the living room, I only ever let them use them at the kitchen table for precisely this reason

You have two 6 year olds scissors and left them alone?
This in you.

Six year olds should be able to hand scissors and crafting without supervision, but you just don’t risk that when you’ve got someone else’s kid round. You don’t give out sharp things and leave them unattended.

If you have accidental damage cover on your contents insurance you can decide whether you want to claim on insurance.

Frustrating as it is unfortunately you neither have proof she did it or whether she did so deliberately.

I guess it's for you to decide whether you want the child back over in the future and whether you restrict what activities they do if you do.

I think this too. They were probably cutting things out while sitting on the sofa and weren’t aware of the snips to the fabric. So it is most likely to not be a deliberate thing. Just make sure any cutting is on a table and not anywhere else if they have scissors again.