Deliberate Damage to sofa-wwyd

[Dailywalk]

Over the weekend my dd (6) had a friend over. They had scissors out as they were doing some craft project. I noticed today the sofa has been damaged . It’s been snipped in a couple of places. Tiny cuts but still they are there.
My daughter didn’t know anything about the cuts and I believe her. She’s the kind of kid that would cry and guilt would make her confess if it was her.
I don’t want to confront anyone but I suspect the friend has done this deliberately when she’s been on her own in the room. I’m fully expecting backlash that they shouldn’t have been left alone with scissors but they often get on with craft projects or games when I’m in another room. Wwyd?

Did you just step out though, your op read like you often just leave them and you sit elsewhere.

As you weren't in the room there is nothing you can do regarding mentioning this to the other child's parent. How would you feel if the situation was flipped and the other child's parent hinted, even in a none confrontational way, that without any proof they believed your child was responsible. If they told you that they weren't there but their child had said it wasn't her and you believed her so it must be your child? No proof ...but she believes it was your child 🤔 I think it would be the end of the friendship between both the adults and kids.
It was possibly an accident op. 6 year old using scissors and cutting out on a fabric sofa. Recipe for disaster. All you can do is ensure that crafts like that are done sitting at a table in future. Much safer if you have to leave the room.

With all due respect to OP, the advice not to leave them alone with scissors is bleeding obvious. The fact you said "I dont want to confront anyone but I think it was her friend" implies you probably wanted us to tell you to talk to her parents or the child and whether you'd be justified in doing so, it's as plain as the cuts on your sofa.

How can you say it is deliberate? It was probably a child cutting something on the sofa and it got nicked in the process. Should have been supervised.

There is nothing you can do. It might not have been the friend, might not have been your child. You’ll just have to suck it up.

Your thread is pointless.

You either:

A) Buy a brand new sofa.
B) Try and get it repaired.
C) Leave it and live with it.

And hopefully learn a lesson in not letting young children be unsupervised with scissors. Accidents happen.

If it's a robust sofa, how bloody sharp were the scissors?!

I think the more concerning aspect, is that you've jumped to thinking it's the friend and they did it deliberately. Why would you automatically think that? Just because your child left the room for a couple of minutes? Baffling.

WWID?

See if it could be repaired, or if it needed full replacing, then mentally file it under 'Shit Happens'.

Not sure what else there is to do, without the option of a Time Machine.

Scissors sharp enough to cut through sofa fabric should never be given to 6 year olds!!!

get the ones with blunt tips that only cut paper and always supervise.

way back, a friend lost an eye when her mother her 2 DC alone with scissors. I’ve never forgotten that and it was way back in the 60s

Try to repair it and be grateful you didn't come back to find two little bald children.

I would be so cross about my sofa! I think there is probably not a lot you can do about it now, but in the future, it’s the perfect reason to say no scissors in the lounge.
Is it bad enough to claim on your house insurance? Do you have accidental damage?

OP, I would just chalk this up to an accident and let it go. You can't be absolutely certain what happened, so I wouldn't bother telling the other child's parents.

Call an upholsterer and have the cover repaired or remade and don't let the children do craft on the sofa again.

If you know a particular friend of your DD is clumsy or messy or something like that, prepare the house before they visit - move breakable items to a different room, restrict art and craft work to a table or out in the garden, have newspaper or a wipeable tablecloth they can put down so they don't get paint/glue on the table etc. And some kids, honestly just can't be left alone. If your DD has some friends like this, either accept that you will be keeping them company/joining in with the crafting for the length of the playdate, or don't invite them over.

No it’s not, it could have been marker pen, anything, it’s the perfect reason to supervise children.

You can't do anything. Sorry but if a 6yo is left unsupervised with scissors then anything that happens is the responsibility of the adult who should have been with them in the room. If a parent came to me about damage done in their home when they left my 6yo unsupervised during a play date I would be politely restraining myself from expressing my own fury - you are lucky that it was only the sofa that got damaged. If the scissors were sharp enough to cut sofa cloth they are probably also sharp enough to cut flesh. There's absolutely no way to prove it was malicious damage and even if it's possible that it was, you give a 6yo the benefit of the doubt.

Not when said kids are using scissors, no. It's amazing that you still really don't see the problem with this.

Eh?

I have a 6 year old. She’s reasonably sensible for her age. Not a chance I’d let her near the sofa with scissors. She wouldn’t do anything on purpose but accidents happen. Next time you do crafts think ‘damage limitation’ - we have a cheap plastic table cloth that goes down to protect the surfaces. We do it at the table or on the wooden floor so there’s limited things that can get damaged. Same for eating anything brightly coloured whilst on your sofa. They don’t do it. They eat at the table where you can limit stains.

I understand you being annoyed and disappointed about your sofa but honestly what do you think you would say to the kids parent? You’re the one who took the risk of them cut things on a sofa. The other parent wasn’t even there. Maybe consider play dates at play gyms in tne future. Might be for the best.

Why do you suspect is was deliberate?

If you weren't supervising that's on you. You can't prove which kid did it or whether or not it was an accident.

I have a 6 year old and they (and I!) would struggle cutting through robust fabric with crafting scissors. So either something else happened, or you left two 6 year olds unsupervised with scissors sharp enough to cut through a sofa..

I'd make a new house rule that craft supplies can only be used under your supervision and nowhere near soft furnishings.

IDK if this will help but you might be able to repair the cuts from the back, using iron on patches of a similar colour.

Nothing...I bet your daughter isn't as innocent as you think. You the parent in charge and sadly this is down to you

OP, I don't see anything wrong with your OP! Not sure why so any posters have to reply in such a snide way.
I think I'd chalk it up to experience and watch them like hawks in future. It's annoying but there is nothing else you can do.

I bet there is a way to fix the cuts though! Can you post a close up?

thanks. I knew I was opening up myself for criticism. Of course lesson learnt.

I think I just live with the tears and that’s it. Mending them may make it more obvious.

I had no intention of confronting/speaking to the parents or accusing anyone but wondered what other people would do in my position. With hindsight I suppose I was just looking for a sympathetic ear?!

I didn’t just jump to the conclusion that it wasn’t my child without delicately enquiring and looking at all possibilities first. I know that our kids are not always the angels we like to think they are! But in the instance I really dont think she wasn’t involved. The cuts are on the side so not the kind of place it would be easy to do accidentally. I hadn’t left them doing crafts on the sofa obviously. They’d been sat at the table in the same room. But there we are. Goes to show you can’t leave them unattended even if only for a short period. I would think again before doing that… and posting on here!

Other things to not let them have EVER:

Make up
Slime

My then 4 year old but in reception used washable felt tips to draw on the dining chair beside her one day. Didn't come off, I know she just couldn't resist drawing on them because of the rough woven cotton texture <<sigh>>.

Make up wasn't at our house though, her best friend a few years later on the carpet in her bedroom!!! I just laughed when her Mum told me and asked why on Earth it had been allowed up there.

I wouldn’t do anything. You cant prove it was done deliberately or by her friend.