Deliberate Damage to sofa-wwyd

[Dailywalk]

Over the weekend my dd (6) had a friend over. They had scissors out as they were doing some craft project. I noticed today the sofa has been damaged . It’s been snipped in a couple of places. Tiny cuts but still they are there.
My daughter didn’t know anything about the cuts and I believe her. She’s the kind of kid that would cry and guilt would make her confess if it was her.
I don’t want to confront anyone but I suspect the friend has done this deliberately when she’s been on her own in the room. I’m fully expecting backlash that they shouldn’t have been left alone with scissors but they often get on with craft projects or games when I’m in another room. Wwyd?

I'd be very careful in allocating blame. I lost a friend when I was around that age. We were playing at her house, she destroyed her mum's expensive makeup playing a game I refused to join in with, but I got the blame because she didn't believe her daughter would do such a thing!

I had a small tear in the fabric of a car seat once. My garage advised me to put a little super glue on my finger and rub it in to seal the cut. Might work on the couch.
Also there's that powder for mending clothes that you seal with an iron, that might work.

If you want to take the chance of leaving your DC alone with scissors then fine but I would reconsider with someone's else's child. Some children are quite coddled and I wouldn't want to be in the position of responsibility if they were to have an accident or have cut clothing or hair.

All you can do now is claim on your insurance. I would also look at purchasing some child friendly craft supplies and those blunt kiddy scissors if you regularly do crafts.

Incredibly annoying but I agree with other posters. Crafts stay on our kitchen table

Pretty awful to assume the other child did it without any proof - you are at fault not the kids , claim on insurance , get it repaired or live with it

I would let the mum know that you won’t be having playdates anymore.

What you do is gain some self awareness and critical thinking skills.

It was literally your own fault. It's okay - we all make mistakes. But you've learnt a very good lesson about children, scissors and supervision.

Don't leave children unsupervised with things that can cause damage or are dangerous. Unfortunately, you didn't provide adequate supervision. You're lucky it was your sofa and not someone's eye, ear, hair.

I would chalk it up to experience OP.

The same thing I do when my kids get in my office and draw over the wall in neon green highlighter.

Now the pens live in the cupboard

I would also hesitate in thinking it was deliberate. These are 6 year olds (I bet they aren't allowed sharp scissors in school!) and it's more than possible that the sofa was cut accidentally while they were cutting paper. A 6YO has no concept of how much resistance a pair of scissors should have (they may never have used a pair before!)

On your FINGER??? has visions of the OP wandering round the house with a sofa firmly attached to her hand

Its a robust sofa, not flimsy fabric

How sharp were the bloody scissors you gave them?

😂🤣

I wouldn't have the child over again quite simply. I'd be inclined to tell the parent, I'd say you didn't see her do it but have a strong suspicion it was her and ask her to speak to her child about damaging other people's property. The mum will be miffed and say it wasn't her but I'd still tell her. My kids are a similar age and would never do something like this, this is toddler behaviour (obviously they wouldn't have scissors, but the defacing of things).

It's annoying AF but you just have to move on. It won't be the first time either, maybe not with scissors next time but with small children there's mess and accidents (which is why I didn't get my nice velvet sofa til mine were teens)

We can't assume the behaviour of our own child of X age will be identical to other children of X age. They are all different. At 6 years of age, the only way to contain crafting madness when friends are over is to restrict them to the kitchen table.

"It’s a robust sofa not with flimsy fabric. There are three definite cuts and a fourth where the scissors haven’t got straight through. These are not accidental."

Fuck me, you actually think she's waited for your kid to leave the room and attacked your "robust" sofa.

They will have been concentrating on steadying the scissors and holding whatever they were cutting flat to the sofa. It could have been either child and it will definitely have been accidental.

What on earth were you doing giving 2 little kids sharp scissors and leaving them? They don't use sharp scissors at school so why do you think that's ok?

🤣🤣 excellent

This is such a disingenuous thread! Just accept responsibility for the damage as the adult in this situation.

The finger pointing is very unbecoming.

? Unbecoming?
🙄
I wanted to know how people would handle the situation. The best advice I got was no more scissors and perhaps to mention that the reason being was that the sofa got damaged last time. I don’t know how asking a question is unbecoming??!

It's unbecoming to blame a six year old for six year old behaviour when left alone with a scissors in a room with a sofa. You can't possibly know it was deliberate, or that your child didn't make one or more of the cuts, probably entirely accidentally. My little sister managed to cut a chunk out of one of her bedroom curtains while making peg doll clothes (holding fabric up to light by the window) at the same age.

When I was about four or five I was given some little plastic children's scissors.

One evening when the whole family were in another room I found myself alone in the kitchen for a few minutes with the scissors. I had a little spree going around cutting slits in things - tea towel, table cloth, curtains. I can still vaguely remember the feeling that I shouldn't be doing it but the urge to carry on was overwhelming.

For context, I was normally a very well behaved and truthful child. When this damage was noticed the next day I obviously denied all knowledge, but I don't think anyone was fooled!

I don't remember being in trouble for it but the scissors disappeared. My parents were certainly not softies or pushovers (this was 1960s) but they were fair and reasonable people and I guess they realised if you give a small child scissors and don't keep an eye on them you only have yourself to blame.

Lesson learned OP. No more unsupervised scissors

Nothing to be done and you where responsible anyway as she was in your care

Nothing, unfortunately, and at least it wasn't worse. My DC has a friend who damages things in the house. Unfortunately when they are over it is more like supervising a toddler. Stick to crafts outdoors if possible, as there is too much potential for accidental damage, let alone a deliberate thing you could not have predicted.

Cant understand why you posted. You already knew everyone was going to reply that you were wrong to leave 6 year olds alone with scissors.

So as for WWYD I would see if I could get my sofa fixed and be thankful that nothing worse happened.

What else can you do other than make sure that you supervise properly, especially when someone else has trusted you with their child?