Do you inform your next door neighbours every time you’re having a bbq?

[Lolabear38]

Last weekend my family and I had a bbq. The following day (Monday) I saw next door neighbour- I wouldn’t say I know them very well but always polite and say hi, smiles etc. This time however she looked mightily annoyed and said along the lines of ‘next time you decide to have a stinking bbq in your garden please let me know in advance, my washing was out drying and it got ruined. I had to do the whole lot again’. (It was a standard bbq, so yes bbq smells but nothing unusual). I was a bit taken aback by her tone but replied and said ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think. Next time I’ll give you a knock and you can take your washing in.’ She replied and said ‘No I won’t be taking my washing in, if I have washing out you won’t be able to have a bbq!’ And she stormed off.

Now, I’ll be honest it didn’t even occur to me to let the neighbours know I was having a bbq but yes ok I see that in future it would be courteous to let them know. But AIBU to think that even if NDN has clothes out I can have the bbq anyway?!

What a knobhead! I'd be barbecuing every day from here on in, she can't dictate to you what you do in your own garden.
FWIW, I've never informed neighbours or been informed. If my line drying ends up a bit stinky I just do it again. It's hardly the end of the world.

Oh fuck that. No chance. My neighbour is a selfish bitch who keeps watering my patio. Why should I give a shit?

No one has ever in my life to date warned me they are bbq-ing. Very unreasonable to expect you not to bbq if they have washing out! I have mine out daily

Clearly none of you who think the neighbours should be informed in advance live in the countryside. I can assure you that the local farmers do not inform us of when they will be muck spreading - washing or no washing. I'd much rather my clothes smelt of sausages that sh*t.

Only on mumsnet does anyone let their neighbours know.

If it's that bad they'll smell it and bring their washing in.

I wouldn't bother telling her if she isn't going to take her washing in. She doesn't get to dictate how you use your garden.

Personally I would tell your neighbour to tuck off!! It's not like you are having a massive bonfire

Thanks everyone! From here on in and in the interest of cordial relations with the neighbours I’ll give them a quick knock next time but I shall most certainly not be changing my plans if she doesn’t like it!

I’m almost 42 and I’ve never let my NDN know before, nor have I ever been informed by them that they were about to have a bbq. You learn something new every day I guess!

Uhhmm, no. We are a nation of BBQ’ers and more likely than not have our own washing on our own lines whilst using our own BBQ’s, let alone thinking of a neighbours washing. If someone knocked on a door and said they were having a BBQ we’d just think it was an invitation to go round and join🤣. Wouldn’t cross anyone’s mind it was to take your washing in.

No. I wouldn't bother letting them know at all. Nobody warns anyone round here, we all just get on with it. I never even bother taking my own washing in if we do decide to barbecue.

Your neighbour can't dictate to you as she is trying to. If you want to warn her then fine (but I wouldn't bother), but she can't forbid you to light the barbie.

It isn't selfish to have a barbecue in the garden in lovely weather. Informing the neighbours every time is not necessary. I have never been informed by our neighbours and nor would I expect to be. I don't inform them either.

Neighbours who try to dictate that someone cannot have a barbecue in their own garden are entitled and controlling fuckers.

So miss thang next door says you have to have her permission any time you want to have a BBQ?

”Sorry. I don’t take orders from anyone who doesn’t sign my paycheck.”

I think you’re making a mistake, it'll
make her worse and more tone to moan, she already is dictating and you’ll give her more ammo,

do t dance to her tune.

I've never warned my neighbours I'm having a bbq and none of my neighbours have ever warned me! It's your garden you don't need to tell anyone.

If she'd have been more polite I would have told her next time but since she's been rude just carry on.

I don’t pre-warn, but I do note which way breeze if going and pop my head over the fence to see if neighbour has washing out. If there is washing out, we wait until it’s taken in to start the BBQ fire. We also set up at the bottom of the garden furthest from everyone’s windows and under a tree as the leaves disperse any smoke.
So YABU to be so inconsiderate

Every house within a 10 mile radius had a bbq at the weekend except us, I had a full load on the line. No one warned us and all I thought was silly me it’s been hot I knew this would happen my own fault! I still couldn’t be bothered to bring it in and none of it smells like bbq despite my whole house smelling of bbq that evening. You do what you want in your own home and garden!!

I have never witnessed this happening in any of the countries I have lived in, the whole 'bbq makes the washing stink' thing. Why is it such a big deal? Where I live noone would even mention it!

OP your neighbour is rude. Ignore.

If I go upstairs into my spare room and look out of the window there I can see into their garden so I’ll do that next time to see if they have washing out.

Do that, then light your barbecue every time she has washing out, even if you aren't cooking on it :-)

This.

I never have. And I've never been warned either.

I was wondering this too lately. Our neighbour had a huge bbq party while our washing was out and she didnt mention it beforehand. (I actually didn't mind - not that she knew this)

Then we had a small bbq and she was pretty miffed that her washing was out.

I was so confused. But once I explained that she did the same thing to us the weekend before she was really embarrassed and apologetic.

She has since said its because her old neighbours used to burn rubbish and we think the smell of smoke triggers her anxiety. So we text her to avoid her being anxious now.

I'm pretty easy going. I quite like the smell.

We tried coffee logs on our fire last Winter and those were hideous for everyone nearby. Thankfully everyone had their windows shut but I'd never ever use those again.

@AngelasAirpods they're not over rated when you know what you're doing

It always used to be something people did years ago - or maybe it was just something people did where I lived then. But no one seems to bother any more.

This exact thing has happened to me however we had a fab relationship with our old neighbours and they just asked if we could give them a polite heads up only IF their washing was out. So hence I always did. Our gardens were very close together with a low fence etc and really our BBQ was quite close to their washing line so I do understand - as I always take our own washing in if we are lighting the BBQ

Now we wouldn’t knock on neighbours at all - our gardens are a bit more distanced and a BBQ wouldn’t impact on any of them

I did not know you could get petrol BBQs.

Ewww a petrol bbq sounds disgusting! Imagine eating that food 🤮