Do you inform your next door neighbours every time you’re having a bbq?

[Lolabear38]

Last weekend my family and I had a bbq. The following day (Monday) I saw next door neighbour- I wouldn’t say I know them very well but always polite and say hi, smiles etc. This time however she looked mightily annoyed and said along the lines of ‘next time you decide to have a stinking bbq in your garden please let me know in advance, my washing was out drying and it got ruined. I had to do the whole lot again’. (It was a standard bbq, so yes bbq smells but nothing unusual). I was a bit taken aback by her tone but replied and said ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think. Next time I’ll give you a knock and you can take your washing in.’ She replied and said ‘No I won’t be taking my washing in, if I have washing out you won’t be able to have a bbq!’ And she stormed off.

Now, I’ll be honest it didn’t even occur to me to let the neighbours know I was having a bbq but yes ok I see that in future it would be courteous to let them know. But AIBU to think that even if NDN has clothes out I can have the bbq anyway?!

Unbelievable.

Not a chance it would have occurred to me to be informed by others, or to inform them.

Having a BBQ - Ask permission
Kids playing outside - Ask permission
Dogs outside - Ask permission
Mow the lawn - Ask permission
Listen to music - Ask permission

These aren't all the same though. The rest are a temporary passing inconvenience that if it is bothering you, you know about it yourself and you can go inside or put in some ear plugs.

A BBQ or a bonfire when people have washing out is something that they may not know about, if they are out or inside and it has a direct effect that you can't do anything about and also costs you extra labour, money as well as inconvenience. The washing will have to be done again at the cost of further detergent and electricity to run the machine - as well as being a pain in the ass.

If you didn't know she puts washing out then it's a mistake anyone could make but if you do know, then it's only polite to let someone know rather than smoke their whole wash. Smokey clothes smell horrible so their is no quetion they'd have to be done again which is a pain and more inconvenient than just going inside or stuffing in some ear plugs.

No, never. I don't get the angst over this issue at all. The smell is clearly BBQ. Your clothes might smell like you had been to one. So, what?

Its Summer, someone is always gonna be having a BBQ whether thats your next door neighbour or the neighbour who's garden is facing your garden or his neighbour etc. And the smell of BBQ travels quite abit.. ppl cant expect everyone to warn them just because of their laundry.. if she has a problem she should do her laundry in the mornings and bring it in before late afternoon..... or hang it out at night and it should be dry by midday the next day? 🤷🏻‍♀️

To be honest it pisses me right off when I’ve got washing out and a neighbour just lights a fire/BBQ, I’d have absolutely no issue taking it in if they gave me a heads up, I don’t want my washing to stink! One of my neighbours built a massive smokey BBQ during lockdown and lit it every day for hours and I could never get anything dry and the smoke billows over our fence and our garden is literally filled with smoke. I am always cautious about starting a BBQ incase people have their washing out, to me it’s just common courtesy! Although I seem to have 2 neighbours that couldn’t give a shit so starting to think I shouldn’t either and see if they like it!

Our neighbours had 4 BBQ’s last week!!
they never knocked to warn us and no I wouldn’t expect them too.

However, very excessive imo and not something I’d do to my neighbours.

Although they’re otherwise good neighbours - very quiet, no playing music or anything like that the smell has been driving me crazy-

Has never occurred to me to warn neighbours. We only ever have them in he evening so washing is not on my radar !

This, so she has chance to get it in and avoid the smoky smell. However, to state you cannot have a BBQ if she has washing out is ridiculous, I imagine she has washing out often.

typically yes we would warn our neighbours, but she’s being ridiculously rude and has ruined any goodwill between you.

I tend to peg the washing out early in the morning during the summer that way if someone does light one up at say lunch time the washing will be dry so i just make a mad dash and bring it in😁

This!

I think it depends. We have a gas bbq and I use it to cook things like steak regularly, then bring it inside to eat. It doesn’t produce much smoke and doesn’t smell other than of the food, so I don’t bother.

We did used to have a charcoal smoker though and I would absolutely give the neighbour the heads up for that or the fire pit.

I'm too lazy for bbqs but her rudeness would spur me on to having a bbq every weekend.

You can’t!

Yabu. Bbqs absolutely stink and there's nothing more irritating than having to rewash a whole load because a neighbour was too inconsiderate to just let me know so I can bring it in.

BBQs are fine it's when people have fires burning all sorts that kicks off that horrible smoke. I'd say that your allowed to have BBQs and her attitude is the wrong way to discuss it and since she thinks it's ok to have that attitude you won't be bending over backwards to keep her happy.

Wouldn’t occur to me to inform neighbours of a bbq (not that we have them anymore) but we’ve certainly never been notified of neighbours having their own. Over the back have a proper purpose built wood smoker and have them regular.
Id probably ignore her just crack on without informing her for her attitude.

But being generous maybe inform her that you are having a bbq, it’s not up for debate so up to her if she wants to get her washing in or not.

Well it's the done thing IMO.

Charcoal BBQs stink a lot more than gas. I probably would check if my neighbours had washing out.
But actually I'm the only one who actually puts washing out. Neighbours aren't very environmentally friendly.

My Mum and her next door neighbour would always warn each other if either of them were having a bbq.
My neighbours and I never do..not sure if it's and older generation thing.

I live in a town centre-rows of victorian semi's and terraced houses-with the same behind so about 6 gardens beside me/overlapping behind me and never has anyone ever said they were having a bbq.
I am so surprised that people do. We have a gas bbq so not too smoky.
Everyone hangs washing out.
I think if it was a smelly bonfire it would be different but I think your neighbour bonkers!

If I saw washing out then personally I'd nip round and let them know but not ask their permission. Luckily I've got good neighbours who do the same for us though, appreciate not all are like that and I'd not be told I'm not allowed a BBQ!

No, it wouldn’t occur to me. But I have non-crazy neighbours.

We don't warn about bbqs although if anyone else has 1 we get our washing in and shut the children's window. We did go mad when the neighbours had a fire though and our baby clothes were on the line. Had to have a word then.

My neighbour text me yesterday to let me know what time she was lighting her BBQ and asked if I wasn’t home would I like her to bring my washing in.

Thats a good neighbour. As it was I thanked her and said I was heading home soon so could get it indoors in time.