Partners step dad has a locked room in family home

[axopa]

They have a spare bedroom which he has a padlocked door on.

They live together partners mum and him and there two children. Age 15 and 12

He works from home drawing up roofs. He didn't go to uni etc and isn't top of his company etc (not to be putting it down) but there's no reason for the lock on the door for this work. He isn't doing really big deals. Just there regular things. People in the office wouldn't have a lock etc. it would all just be out on the tables. My partner works there too so I asked about set up. No one's work is locked away. It's open plan. They have visitors in etc. only certain people do the big jobs even they aren't locked away.

His kids are much too old for going in and messing up his work. And they could easily be told don't go in and touch the work.

I don't like him. Hes very narcissistic and inappropriate and creepy. Especially to younger girls

No one has ever seen in his room. His wife doesn't go in, he spends a lot of time in it. It is very much don't go in or he will be very angry if anyone did or tried to. Not that they could because it's padlocked off.

Am I right in feelings it's off or is it just because he's very narcissistic? I personally would hate it and feel very uncomfortable if it is just for the work I'd want to know the code too. But his wife doesn't and isn't allowed in

You need to call SWS with these concerns OP that is a whole history of domestic abusive behaviour there plus the child neglect and possibly worse but you can share your information and let the professionals ask questions

Hmmm ... yes, not sure this adds up ...

9 year old menstruating isn't unusual. And if he feels his daughter might be trans then forcing them to wear dresses sounds entirely in character

But omg there are actual serious child neglect issues there. Like HUGE. Report to SS and RSPCA.

Locked room doesn't seem out of character for a man who is so controlling and I don't think there's anything dodgy there.

OP the other stuff is a WAY bigger issue than a locked room!

Ok so you have a laundry list of issues which appear much more concerning than a locked door.

So the real question is why you don't use any one of many ways to escalate your concerns.

This has all turned horribly dark and worrying. I hope the kids are ok 🥺

Holy fuck I’ve read your updates. That poor poor daughter only screwed up as she sees what he beloved a woman is and she wants independence and thinks you only get that as a man. They need to get out. Call the rspca, but the rest I’d don’t know how they can get free

I'd be tempted to break the lock

Is he a creepy fucker? Does he make your skin crawl?

You have no respect for other people’s boundaries then?

Oh dear, I shouldn't laugh but I did.

Normal men don’t talk about 6yo girls having breasts.

May I ask why?

You are party to animal abuse if you don't go and take that ddog away op..

The man lives with and provides a home for his wife and children including your partner. He works with one of his children, and despite his children being old enough to know not to go into people's personal space, it does not preclude the occasional snoop!

Moreover, it's the man's home, and if he chooses to have a sanctuary within his home then that is his business. And certainly no one else including yours! His wife and children accept that he needs his personal space and privacy in a home that he provides for them, even though he is according to you, not (very important!) where his work is concerned! And what you may view as narcissistic, may be bravado from a man who wishes to maintain his image of himself in his own home that suits him! After all, while not very important to you he is an important figure in his own home. Or perhaps this is a place where the man goes to shed the constant stresses brought on by a world that does not think he is important, that refuses to take him seriously. Or maybe the man has a project that he is working on unrelated to his business, and wishes to keep this aspect private for fear of failure or as a surprise in the event of success!
As though he would need to justify any of that to anyone. And with all of your concern for what he does in his own home and personal space and all of your speculation, perhaps instead of judging people who live differently than you are accustomed to, or labeling people as narcissistic to justify your assumptions, you might want to consider where your bias comes from or why you don't feel a man is entitled to a space all to himself?

But then again if it's a woman seeking her space it's to be respected and revered right? Yet since it's a man it gets put out here on the internet for all manner of scrutiny from people who don't know! leave the man alone and work on your bias!

It took you 6 months to come up with that rant?

Good lord, this is horrendous.

Has everyone forgotten David Challenor? The father of 'Aimee' Challenor, at the time the Green Party's Golden Transactivist, kept a torture chamber in the family attic. He liked to dress up in little girl clothes while torturing & raping little girls he held captive up there.

The family claimed no knowledge.

Didn't notice it was an old thread. I hope @axopa at least managed to extricate herself from that alarming family.

Bluebeard is exactly who I thought of.