Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was BU here

220 replies

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 16:09

Sorry this is long. Was in a (chain) pizza takeaway and witnessed this. Customer probably in her sixties came in with an assistance dog, clearly wearing identification as such. Dog extremely well behaved. Didn’t hear her give it any commands, it never took it eyes off her, sat when she stopped, was glued to her side when she moved. It obviously was well trained and knew its role. She ordered from the young lad and stood at counter. Then an employee approached and she quite aggressively said dogs weren’t allowed. Customer answered it’s an assistance dog. Employee said it’s not allowed. Customer said under the equalities act 2010, the dog is classed as an auxiliary aid, and offered proof. Employee declined proof and moved away. Then about two mins later employee came back and said seen as you think you’re allowed in here can you move over there. Customer said sure and moved. She sat on a bench, dog immediately sat beside her. Employee then came out into the shop and started shouting at the customer and told her that she was being offensive by coming into the shop, and wasn’t allowed. Customer kept her composure and said I don’t know why you’re shouting at me, employee said because of the dog. Customer said I only have the dog because of my disability, so you’re shouting because I’m disabled. Employee then said you’re not effing disabled. Customer replied thank you I’ll take that as a compliment, it taken me 5 years to learn to walk after spinal injury, and are you aware that neurological disabilities aren’t visible. Employee was very intimidating and kept shouting at her to leave, customer refused. Who was BU , the employee for shouting or the customer for not leaving when asked. To be honest I was so impressed by dogs behaviour and how the customer kept her cool. Customer collected her order thanked the young lad for being polite and left. I did see her wiping her eyes as she passed the window. It was all very unpleasant and unnecessary. Imagine being treated like that just trying to buy a pizza.

OP posts:
SadOrWickedFairy · 04/06/2023 18:35

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 17:20

Servalan you are indeed correct. I am the customer. I have posted on here before about discrimination concerning my dog and got unmitigated abuse. I was reluctant to post in the first person. It was questioned how I even look after a dog if I’m disabled. Plus my disability itself was brought into question. All the information in my posts are true, I have had to learn to walk again and I do suffer from PTSD, which I am having therapy for. It took great effort to stay in the shop, there was no one else in the shop. I am complaining to head office, tomorrow.

I am extremely sorry to hear you were the victim in this @knicknackkarriewhack and also that you were subjected to abuse on this forum previously. You should not have been treated in that manner.

Please do complain and complain robustly, the treatment of disabled people is an absolute disgrace, it is shameful.

Good luck to you with your complaint, do not let them get away with it and fob you off.
Flowers

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/06/2023 18:37

I’m disabled and often feel invisible. I don’t use any walking aids so I get it’s hard to spot some of the time. How awful for you. Let us know how you get on.

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 18:38

PriOn1 · 04/06/2023 18:15

Did you train the dog yourself, or is it an official assistance dog, trained for the purpose? Part of the problem might be that some people are starting to claim their pets are assistance dogs.

Assistance dogs can be owner trained Look at equalityhumanrights.com assistance dogs a guide for businesses. I have experience dog training and have previously competed nationally in obedience classes. I used to train (when I was young and fit) for a local rescue centre, and then train with the new owner. It was all volunteer work, as rescue centres need to keep their costs down.

OP posts:
Flopsythebunny · 04/06/2023 18:44

TooJoy · 04/06/2023 18:26

There are multiple threads about banning dogs or reducing the numbers and so it’s hardly surprising that there will be people who would not go into an enclosed space that has a dog in it.

I know people who have Emotional support cats, horses, skunks, ferrets and God knows what else.

There is a huge issue of people taking them into restaurants and shops and then creating a scene and posting it all over the internet because they’re not allowed.

I believe when this happened before OP (or someone with a similar situation) refused to show evidence that this was a service dog rather than an ESA.

What happens if 9/10 people require service dogs and there’s 9 dogs in one small establishment?

I have dogs and cats so it doesn’t affect me personally but I think having multiple animals in an area that prepares food is unsanitary and can impact those with allergies, phobias or certain cultures.

I don't give a shiny shit if you think a registered service dog shouldn't be allowed in an establishment that prepares food.
The law is quite clear on this matter.
To refuse entry to a service dog is discrimination.
3 taxi drivers in my borough have been prosecuted recently for refusing service dogs without a medical exemption

DemonicCaveMaggot · 04/06/2023 18:46

If you are going to complain to the head office also make a formal complaint to whoever enforces disability rights. That manager doesn't deserve a slap on the wrist from an area manager, the chain deserves a huge fine for not training their personnel better.

Pudmyboy · 04/06/2023 18:51

DemonicCaveMaggot · 04/06/2023 18:46

If you are going to complain to the head office also make a formal complaint to whoever enforces disability rights. That manager doesn't deserve a slap on the wrist from an area manager, the chain deserves a huge fine for not training their personnel better.

This , so very sorry you went through this and I cannot believe you have had abuse in the past from this forum regarding your necessary and well behaved dog. Makes me despair! Please look after yourself and your lovely dog. And complain! Can your local counsellor help with finding out who else to flag this up with, in terms of disability rights?

Hamfish · 04/06/2023 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PriamFarrl · 04/06/2023 18:57

I would be complaining directly and on Twitter or the like. I’d also be inclined to film the employee next time. I cannot believe that anyone wouldn’t know that assistance dogs are allowed into places that regular dogs can’t go.

I do recall a thread on here where the op was saying that she, or her child, was afraid of dogs and as such if she is in a cafe and someone with an assistance dog come in then they should be asked to leave.

Hamfish · 04/06/2023 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kiwano · 04/06/2023 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Perhaps she keeps posting it because it keeps happening?

JusthereforXmas · 04/06/2023 19:01

I have neurological disability and no one ever believes we are disabled... if they cant 'see' something wrong they assume your just lazy.

Even things like the fact that I walk with a limp I have been called 'lazy' over ('your so lazy, pick up your feet and walk properly' etc...) which baffles me because these aren't even things people do from 'laziness'.

The employee was breaking the law so clearly in the wrong, the question doesn't need asking.

CoffeeLover90 · 04/06/2023 19:01

I'm so sorry, I'm sorry this happened in the shop, that it happened before and that you were interrogated in other posts. If I'd been there I would have spoken up. Not in a dignified way like you.
You said you're having therapy for PTSD so I think you need to be extremely proud of yourself for how you handled this. Amazing.
I hope you achieve your dreams and help others to partner with a dog as wonderful as yours.
And I hope that employee slips on a pepperoni slice.

theGooHasGone · 04/06/2023 19:04

Even though I understand why you did it, it's weird of you to come in and post these vivid descriptions of "how calm the lady was" in the third person which are really about yourself.

Obviously the employee is an idiot.

Datafan55 · 04/06/2023 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

She's praising the dog and also the fact - just the fact - that she kept her composure.

AND mentioned past incidents of getting abuse for having an assistance dog.

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I was trying NOT to get abuse. You try getting abuse and discrimination several times a week, whilst struggling to do everyday tasks. Last time I posted in the first person, I was vilified. I was posting for opinions on how to address this incident. If you want to add your abuse of a disabled person, go ahead, knock yourself out. Hope it makes you feel better.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 04/06/2023 19:05

I remember your last post- people claiming your dog couldnt possibly be an actual assistance dog because you'd trained them yourself etc.

I do agree making up the back story and blowing smoke up your own backside in the process is a bit obscure, though.

missmollygreen · 04/06/2023 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Issania87 · 04/06/2023 19:10

YABU for even having to ask this question!

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 19:13

Well considering I’ve got PTSD, I did remain amazingly calm and did bloody marvellous, compared to my previous reactions. I have been admitted to a psych unit in a disassociate state, for several weeks, after being triggered. So if been proud of myself for keeping a lid on it, is weird, then I’m god dammed weird.

OP posts:
clpsmum · 04/06/2023 19:13

ForensicFlossy · 04/06/2023 16:12

You watched all of that and didn't step in?

This. You know fine well who was being unreasonable and you stood by and did nothing, shame on YOU

Tessabelle74 · 04/06/2023 19:13

Wow, the employee was appalling and so were you and any other customers for not calling him out on his behaviour

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I only have two words for you and one of them is “off”

OP posts:
Veryverycalmnow · 04/06/2023 19:15

Tessabelle74 · 04/06/2023 19:13

Wow, the employee was appalling and so were you and any other customers for not calling him out on his behaviour

Read the full thread- OP is actually the disabled woman.

Womencanlift · 04/06/2023 19:16

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 19:05

I was trying NOT to get abuse. You try getting abuse and discrimination several times a week, whilst struggling to do everyday tasks. Last time I posted in the first person, I was vilified. I was posting for opinions on how to address this incident. If you want to add your abuse of a disabled person, go ahead, knock yourself out. Hope it makes you feel better.

I think posters mean that all
the extra info/opinions from the fake observer were not needed and it adds a level of confusion

Issania87 · 04/06/2023 19:17

Issania87 · 04/06/2023 19:10

YABU for even having to ask this question!

Just seen that the OP is you, in that case it is completely unreasonable that you feel you need to ask this question. Of course the employee was absolutely in the wrong, they should be ashamed of themselves

Swipe left for the next trending thread