Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was BU here

220 replies

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 16:09

Sorry this is long. Was in a (chain) pizza takeaway and witnessed this. Customer probably in her sixties came in with an assistance dog, clearly wearing identification as such. Dog extremely well behaved. Didn’t hear her give it any commands, it never took it eyes off her, sat when she stopped, was glued to her side when she moved. It obviously was well trained and knew its role. She ordered from the young lad and stood at counter. Then an employee approached and she quite aggressively said dogs weren’t allowed. Customer answered it’s an assistance dog. Employee said it’s not allowed. Customer said under the equalities act 2010, the dog is classed as an auxiliary aid, and offered proof. Employee declined proof and moved away. Then about two mins later employee came back and said seen as you think you’re allowed in here can you move over there. Customer said sure and moved. She sat on a bench, dog immediately sat beside her. Employee then came out into the shop and started shouting at the customer and told her that she was being offensive by coming into the shop, and wasn’t allowed. Customer kept her composure and said I don’t know why you’re shouting at me, employee said because of the dog. Customer said I only have the dog because of my disability, so you’re shouting because I’m disabled. Employee then said you’re not effing disabled. Customer replied thank you I’ll take that as a compliment, it taken me 5 years to learn to walk after spinal injury, and are you aware that neurological disabilities aren’t visible. Employee was very intimidating and kept shouting at her to leave, customer refused. Who was BU , the employee for shouting or the customer for not leaving when asked. To be honest I was so impressed by dogs behaviour and how the customer kept her cool. Customer collected her order thanked the young lad for being polite and left. I did see her wiping her eyes as she passed the window. It was all very unpleasant and unnecessary. Imagine being treated like that just trying to buy a pizza.

OP posts:
Daffodilmorning · 04/06/2023 16:47

Obviously the staff member was unreasonable, I’m not sure why you are even asking.

Didn’t you think to say anything? Or even just ask the lady if she was ok?

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 04/06/2023 16:47

LunaMay · 04/06/2023 16:33

Why is everyone assuming the lady needed anyone to step in for her? Sounds like she was handling it perfectly well herself.

Because all it takes is good men to do nothing etc.

As an aside, who the fuck are the 18% of people saying that what happened was OK?

pinkyredrose · 04/06/2023 16:47

Please report this hideous employee.

ChrisPPancake · 04/06/2023 16:48

DollyParkin · 04/06/2023 16:39

Someone should have pretended to be a lawyer and told the employee she was in danger of prosecution.

@ChrisPPancake can you write/email the Head Office of the pizza chain telling them exactly what and where you witnessed this.? It is disgusting that people still behave in this way to people with disabilities.

I wasn't the one who witnessed it @DollyParkin ?
But I agree @knicknackkarriewhack absolutely should report it.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 04/06/2023 16:49

Just tell us the name and we'll all report it.

FatCatBum · 04/06/2023 16:50

The employee is obviously being unreasonable here, and frankly if I had witnessed that I would be making my own complaint about it

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/06/2023 16:50

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 16:44

The employee was so aggressive, that I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. I was so unsure what to do. Also just to add I have PTSD and don’t do confrontation very well, it’s not my forte, I seriously could’ve made it worse. There was only me and the woman in there. I didn’t want to be the one who escalated it. The customer was handling it very well, she’s obviously been subjected to this before. There were two young lads behind the counter and they looked very uncomfortable, they were rolling their eyes like they’d seen it before. The customer asked to see the manager, and the employee said she was the manager!! Employee was saying things like would you take your dog in Home Bargains. Customer answered yes and Tesco , Marks & Spencer and TGI Friday anywhere a wheelchair can go. She was soooo calm. I can honestly say that if I’d jumped in, I wouldn’t have been so composed.

You don't have to confront the aggressive person to intervene. What you do is calmly engage with the victim so the know they're not alone. There was a guide put out on how to it a while back. I'll see if I can find it.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 04/06/2023 16:52

@knicknackkarriewhack please, at the very least, email the chain's Head Office and make a complaint about the 'managers' behaviour (very unlikely they were a manager with that behaviour!). Make sure you ask for details as to how they'll go about ensuring the employee is sacked receives appropriate training for future 😉

Whataretheodds · 04/06/2023 16:52

skyeisthelimit · 04/06/2023 16:45

I understand why you didn't step in, but I would be emailing them to complain about what you witnessed, and state the date and time and a basic description of the employee.

I hope that his victim does too.

This

weirdoboelady · 04/06/2023 16:53

I would email the chain, yes, but I'd also tweet about it. The beauty being that the whole world can see tweets, and will see how a manager (or an employee pretending to be a manager) in this chain is behaving.

Also name the chain on here, and with any luck one of the national newspapers will pick the story up..... 😈

Thebigblueballoon · 04/06/2023 16:53

OP, you need to write to the head office of this chain immediately, documenting exactly what happened. That employee should be sacked for such appalling behaviour.

I’d also be looking to track this woman down, so you can offer to be a witness for her, should she wish to take it further. I’d appeal to find her in your local area Facebook pages. At the very least you could look to check she is OK.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/06/2023 16:54

You didn’t need to be aggressive to have been of assistance and be supportive. One would hope that someone would do the same for you with your PTSD

Soubriquet · 04/06/2023 16:54

I would have said something. If I couldn’t have said something there and then, I would have rung the shop and asked for the manager or the highest it can go. Poor woman having to be subjected to that

Crazydoglady1980 · 04/06/2023 16:55

I understand why you didn’t speak up but you can act now and make a complaint. Of the disabled customer has complained then yours will support theirs and if they haven’t you might be able to stop someone else having to go through this.
I am not disabled but live with someone who is and although they manage these situations well at the time, it slowly erodes at their confidence and makes going out so much harder

Panteranoir · 04/06/2023 16:55

Could you not have quietly filmed it so the employee could be reported if you were too nervous to intervene?

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 16:56

I understand why you think I should’ve stepped in , but to be perfectly honest, actually staying in the shop was my show of solidarity. All my instincts were to leave. Confrontation is a major trigger, I stayed, so she wasn’t alone. I’m aware this wasn’t really good enough, but it was the best that I could do.

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 04/06/2023 16:59

Not one for reporting but I would report this person..

What a horrible thing for that poor Customer.

Hayliebells · 04/06/2023 16:59

Complaining to head office is a good idea, and Tweeting about it too would be even better. A national chain would likely jump into action on any Twitter post describing this pretty immediately.

PineappleLatte · 04/06/2023 17:00

So why are you asking AIBU about this if you know the shop are in the wrong and you showed your solidarity by sitting there and doing sweet FA?!

GalileoHumpkins · 04/06/2023 17:01

You need to report this incident, get it out there on Facebook and Twitter. This employee needs sacking.

TheCentreSlide · 04/06/2023 17:01

Staying in the shop merely supports the business.

Do something now and make a complaint.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/06/2023 17:01

I can't find the guide. I think it was done by transport for London. But if you google 'active bystander ' you'll get loads of info in how to help without endangering yourself.

Pringleface · 04/06/2023 17:02

PineappleLatte · 04/06/2023 17:00

So why are you asking AIBU about this if you know the shop are in the wrong and you showed your solidarity by sitting there and doing sweet FA?!

My thoughts exactly.

Fandabedodgy · 04/06/2023 17:02

Of course the employee was BU. You have to ask?

Personally I'd have gone over to offer my support to the customer.

I couldn't standby by and watch that happen.

I'd also be contacting their head office to complain.

Bogggle · 04/06/2023 17:04

Surely you don’t even have to ask who is unreasonable in this situation!?

Swipe left for the next trending thread