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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who was BU here

220 replies

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 16:09

Sorry this is long. Was in a (chain) pizza takeaway and witnessed this. Customer probably in her sixties came in with an assistance dog, clearly wearing identification as such. Dog extremely well behaved. Didn’t hear her give it any commands, it never took it eyes off her, sat when she stopped, was glued to her side when she moved. It obviously was well trained and knew its role. She ordered from the young lad and stood at counter. Then an employee approached and she quite aggressively said dogs weren’t allowed. Customer answered it’s an assistance dog. Employee said it’s not allowed. Customer said under the equalities act 2010, the dog is classed as an auxiliary aid, and offered proof. Employee declined proof and moved away. Then about two mins later employee came back and said seen as you think you’re allowed in here can you move over there. Customer said sure and moved. She sat on a bench, dog immediately sat beside her. Employee then came out into the shop and started shouting at the customer and told her that she was being offensive by coming into the shop, and wasn’t allowed. Customer kept her composure and said I don’t know why you’re shouting at me, employee said because of the dog. Customer said I only have the dog because of my disability, so you’re shouting because I’m disabled. Employee then said you’re not effing disabled. Customer replied thank you I’ll take that as a compliment, it taken me 5 years to learn to walk after spinal injury, and are you aware that neurological disabilities aren’t visible. Employee was very intimidating and kept shouting at her to leave, customer refused. Who was BU , the employee for shouting or the customer for not leaving when asked. To be honest I was so impressed by dogs behaviour and how the customer kept her cool. Customer collected her order thanked the young lad for being polite and left. I did see her wiping her eyes as she passed the window. It was all very unpleasant and unnecessary. Imagine being treated like that just trying to buy a pizza.

OP posts:
BriarHare · 04/06/2023 17:24

Ok. Why not be honest in your first post, that you were the customer?

ColdHandsHotHead · 04/06/2023 17:25

BriarHare · 04/06/2023 17:24

Ok. Why not be honest in your first post, that you were the customer?

The OP has already explained why. Now jog on, why don't you?

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 04/06/2023 17:25

Did you film it as well as doing nothing?

Haven't RTWT so apologies if you are the disabled lady concerned. It reads quite odd.

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 04/06/2023 17:27

Ah okay. Ive just seen the previous post.

I hope you complain and then some! I'm sorry that happened to you.

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 17:28

BriarHare · 04/06/2023 17:24

Ok. Why not be honest in your first post, that you were the customer?

Because the last time I posted about discrimination I was belittled and was even asked how I pick up dog poo. I was also told I was cruel for training my dog to go toilet on command. This is a basic requirement for any service dog. Discrimination doesn’t just happen in real life it happens virtually also.

OP posts:
NewPinkJacket · 04/06/2023 17:29

Right so I've read your last thread which was extremely similar (back in April) - chain restaurant, same sort of reaction to the dog etc.

You refused to name that restaurant too, so what's the point of this thread again?

Just name them and MNetters can tweet or complain on their FB/Instagram or at least boycott them.

StrongTea · 04/06/2023 17:29

I hope they have cctv and the manager gets dealt with appropriately. Sorry you had to deal with that upset.

HewasH20 · 04/06/2023 17:31

My cousin is routinely told that they don't look blind enough to have a guide dog. It happens on a regular basis. I'm sorry this happened to you.

blueigloo · 04/06/2023 17:32

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Willmafrockfit · 04/06/2023 17:34

the employee sounds terrible as described
so sorry

Thebigblueballoon · 04/06/2023 17:38

Well, that changes things. Sorry that happened to you, OP. Please get on to head office first thing in the morning, they need to look at the CCTV. Even if there’s no sound, the aggressive manner of the employee should at least be evident.
Please name the chain?

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/06/2023 17:39

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You're confused about someone standing up for their hard fought for rights? You think she should just roll over and allow businesses to unlawfully deny her service?

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 17:39

Why don’t I post on social media? I don’t have any twitter/ facebook accounts as I was in a 30 year gaslighting relationship and wasn’t allowed them. I don’t want any social media presence as I can’t risk my ex being able to find me. I have moved a lot to shake off him and his family, that’s partly where the PTSD comes from. I did call head office but it was 5pm on a Friday, so no answer. I will be emailing and calling tomorrow.

OP posts:
SoTired12 · 04/06/2023 17:39

Society is well and truly fucked, makes me sick how people will just watch something like that happening as if it's a show on TV. Shame on everyone who was just sitting there watching.

TooJoy · 04/06/2023 17:39

The employees was vile!

Even if he was in the right then you still don’t treat your customers that way.

Both customers should have immediately left and never go back.

FWIW I don’t believe assistant animals should be allowed in establishments where food is being prepared.
Yes that sounds very discriminatory but lots of people have allergies and I don’t think it’s sanitary to have them around food.

In this situation I would have asked the customer to wait outside whilst I prepared their food.
Or if it was raining then I would ask that they sit in a seat furthest away from the but not right in the doorway.

I do feel like the person was being a bit silly for claiming that the man was being discriminatory towards disabled people when he didn’t say anything of the sort (at that time) and was talking about the dog but in a heated situation like that we can say silly things.

GoldeSickle · 04/06/2023 17:40

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 17:20

Servalan you are indeed correct. I am the customer. I have posted on here before about discrimination concerning my dog and got unmitigated abuse. I was reluctant to post in the first person. It was questioned how I even look after a dog if I’m disabled. Plus my disability itself was brought into question. All the information in my posts are true, I have had to learn to walk again and I do suffer from PTSD, which I am having therapy for. It took great effort to stay in the shop, there was no one else in the shop. I am complaining to head office, tomorrow.

Oh love. I’m so so sorry that you went through that. And I’m sorry that everyone on here, myself included, has been harsh on you. People have been demanding to know why you didn’t say anything because we’re all so incensed on your behalf. You should never have had to experience that, please do complain. That woman needs education and fast.

GoldeSickle · 04/06/2023 17:41

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Piss off elsewhere, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Motherbear44 · 04/06/2023 17:41

DollyParkin

Someone should have pretended to be a lawyer and told the employee she was in danger of prosecution

To be honest I don’t think you need to pretend to be a lawyer to say they were in danger of prosecution. It sounds like appalling behavior to me.

NewPinkJacket · 04/06/2023 17:41

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 17:39

Why don’t I post on social media? I don’t have any twitter/ facebook accounts as I was in a 30 year gaslighting relationship and wasn’t allowed them. I don’t want any social media presence as I can’t risk my ex being able to find me. I have moved a lot to shake off him and his family, that’s partly where the PTSD comes from. I did call head office but it was 5pm on a Friday, so no answer. I will be emailing and calling tomorrow.

You are posting on social media but that wasn't what I asked.

I asked why you won't name the place and why you wouldn't name the other place either in your thread from April.

I don't understand your reasoning?

knicknackkarriewhack · 04/06/2023 17:42

This reply has been deleted

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I had already paid for the food and was waiting for it to be cooked. So was I meant to walk out without food? That way I would be paying them to shout at me

OP posts:
Premiumbondbaby · 04/06/2023 17:43

@knicknackkarriewhack I changed my vote as you have disclosed you were the customer.

You were treated disgracefully and unlawfully by the manager. Please write to Head Office and complain. As a minimum the manager needs training on the Equality Act.

I train staff and one of the key points I make is most disabilities are invisible. I also tell people not to assume they know what adjustments are necessary but to talk to the person and get expert advice.

I am sorry you were treated so disrespectfully, I can only imagine how distressing this was for you.

JMSA · 04/06/2023 17:43

The poor, poor woman Sad
There is no question that the employee was out of order.

JMSA · 04/06/2023 17:44

And I would have said as much!

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/06/2023 17:47

TooJoy · 04/06/2023 17:39

The employees was vile!

Even if he was in the right then you still don’t treat your customers that way.

Both customers should have immediately left and never go back.

FWIW I don’t believe assistant animals should be allowed in establishments where food is being prepared.
Yes that sounds very discriminatory but lots of people have allergies and I don’t think it’s sanitary to have them around food.

In this situation I would have asked the customer to wait outside whilst I prepared their food.
Or if it was raining then I would ask that they sit in a seat furthest away from the but not right in the doorway.

I do feel like the person was being a bit silly for claiming that the man was being discriminatory towards disabled people when he didn’t say anything of the sort (at that time) and was talking about the dog but in a heated situation like that we can say silly things.

The person was being entirely factual in claiming the man was being discriminatory towards disabled people. It's text book discrimination and you're being very silly not understanding that. Your suggestions of how you would deal with it are also discriminatory towards disabled people.

Testina · 04/06/2023 17:47

I‘m glad I read all OP posts, cos I’d copied this bit:
”Who was BU , the employee for shouting or the customer for not leaving when asked.” ready to say to the “third party” poster, what a stupid bloody thing to ask on here!

I’m sorry you were treated so badly.

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