Is my mate a pretentious twat or am I horribly jealous

[Thinkmymateisanob]

Very tongue in cheek but kind of not 👀

Me and my friend have been mates since childhood. Over 25 years, the rough with the smooth, through children/divorces/careers etc etc

Financially our lives are the complete opposite. It’s not an issue, she’s usually quite frugal but likes to spend money on experiences rather than things so if we go out to dinner and she chooses the restaurant she will pay. But next time I will pay and choose a restaurant I can afford. It works out well.

She goes on holiday 3 times a year with her family, abroad long haul and 3/4 short haul trips to Europe with various teens.

I haven’t been abroad for years. Not even France.

I live vicariously through her and she brings me lovely presents and sends nice pics.

Anyway - she’s just taken a teen abroad for a short holiday in Europe. All I’ve heard about is how awful her flights were as she had to fly economy as the planes got switched last minute. How awful it all was, how does anyone fly like this, she’s never flying economy again, she’s dreading the flight home.

I want to message her and say you’re being a twat, people have probably saved for months for those flights - pull your head out of your arse

She’s never usually like this. So I will forgive her but I’m just feeling unusually annoyed with her

She won’t read this because she hates social media and doesn’t use MN.

But just in case she does - I love you really M 👀

I need more information about “the teens” she goes away with, who are they?

im not long back from being away and yeah sometimes things that wouldn’t normally annoy, do.

If she paid for better flights then yes she has a right to grizzle but on the flip side is the likelihood she could have waited longer to be fitted in on a later plane for her chosen seats and cabin class.

at the end of the day though, you are her friend and she is just letting of steam.

that about sums it up really.

She’s being a bit of a twat.

My take on the situation exactly!! OK, to have paid for business class and then have to fly economy is obviously not ideal and it's understandable that friend would be pissed off about it BUT it was totally insensitive and thoughtless of her to sound off to the OP about it when she surely could not fail to be aware of the OP's own financial situation and lack of sufficient funds to even go on holiday? 😏
OP admits to not being able to afford to go abroad so it's not too much of a stretch to think that she might be only too happy to be able to fly economy class to anywhere at all?! 🙄
Her friend has been tactless, thoughtless, inconsiderate and frankly just a little unkind and uncaring in not realising how her entitled whining would come across to her less fortunate long time pal!! 😪

Just send a message about her flights saying "it's a nice problem to have"!

Again.
All fine with a friend bringing presents and sending nice pics, but second she is unhappy, she is a shit tone deaf friend, eh.
Either all is wrong because "choose your audience" or neither is in this case.

I think she’s being precious and you’re not jealous to be eye rolling. It’s a short flight and I’m sure she’ll be refunded any cost difference and have been allowed in the lounge regardless. Business v economy on short flights is so little different.

I used to commute by plane weekly on BA, surrounded by others doing the same, many of whom I knew to be very wealthy. We all had enough airline status to use the lounge anyway but flew economy as it was just wasted money to upgrade for the short flight and get a ready meal for the money.

A sensitivity chip would come in handy for her.

And trains are an excellent choice for Europe. First class tickets are very reasonable!

Yup, we added a leg and £££ just to avoid Ryan Air, worth every penny.

Don’t lose the friendship over this. She just wasn’t thinking.

When I read stories like this ...🙄
...I think they should bring back national service.
There is a lot of children masquerading as adults.

People are allowed to complain, but they should also think about who they complain to. It's insensitive of OP's friend to be messaging her complaining about the hardships of having to fly economy when she knows full well that OP cannot afford to fly anywhere and hasn't had a holiday abroad for years. I'm not feeling particularly happy with my weight at the moment, but I'm not going to complain about it to my friend who is much heavier than me as that would make her feel like shit.

He automatically gets upgraded to business and if there is no room in business they will do this in economy for him. It’s mad.

Oh OK. That’s a bit more understandable. I thought you were saying if he had booked first and they had to downgrade him to business, they would cancel three rows of business customers.

Either way, if it were me and a load of passengers were getting inconvenienced unnecessarily, I think I would ask them not to.

No it’s only if business and first class are full. I’ve flown with him several times (first class) and it’s just crazy how well he gets treated. I was actually a bit annoyed tbh, they even knew how he wanted his steak.

Odd if he’s that important that they don’t bump someone else from business or first. Although most airlines do seem to work in mysterious ways. BA has the worst customer service of any business I have ever had the misfortune to deal with.

He is not important, he is just a very frequent flyer with Emirates.

I suspect they just see that he’s a platinum member so that’s the service he gets. Tbf he does ask about how their families are and seem to remember family member’s names etc.

@ThePuma I have never flown with BA, are they as bad as SAS is nowadays?

I think the point is, we can all complain when not get the service we have paid for and as we get older and more set in our ways, we become accustomed to a lifestyle we can accommodate. There is nothing wrong with that, but goodness know who to aim your complaints at and have a bit of tact. She’s obviously got so comfortable talking to you she’s lost sight of the bigger picture.
If she goes on all these amazing trips over the years, I’m surprised she hasn’t done a mini city break for the pair of you for a special occasion knowing you haven’t been abroad for years. Not obliged to of course!

That’s a worse problem. That the friend has made a judgement. Like she is too ‘poor’ - (poor and will therefore be envious so don’t mention it dear) so don’t complain about that to her. Or, she is too ‘fat’ don’t upset her. (Because she may be fat and unhappy. Not everyone who is fat or chubby is unhappy with their weight)
That kind of thinking, and communication is worse. Like when I tried to not tell a relative that I was pregnant because I knew she was trying for years. Told others, but I was trying to be sensitive. She found out (of course) and was livid that I would think it would upset her, and that she wouldn’t be happy for me.

Or when you get a promotion, and don’t mention it to sister who was let go. They always KNOW.

It is more often better to treat others as (psychologically and mentally) EQUAL TO YOU than to treat them different for material wealth.

What you are suggesting is to have ‘PITY’ on people for their circumstances and I find that worse.

She's more of a twat for flying so much

Tbf we've flown BC every flight since my FIL upgraded us when we got engaged... since then we haven't been able to go back. I'm dreading it. I know I sound pretentious but you do forget how small and cramped it is in the back!

She complained to her best friend of decades, who up until this point has displayed no issue with their difference in lifestyle and has in fact enjoyed living vicariously through her. Context considered, how was she supposed to know that this of all things would be an issue?

You are not a victim. People should not adjust their opinions and rhetoric so you can feel better about yourself.

I do however watch my audience. (I’m not that drunk uncle at Xmas parties that makes people uncomfortable) Because what are you ultimately complaining for? Another opinion? So why speak to someone who does not fly abroad much. What benefit apart from letting off steam. But if there is a part of you that thinks she is doing it on purpose to rub your nose in it, that is another thing.

I’m guessing this is just trolling and you don’t actually know the OP