Is my mate a pretentious twat or am I horribly jealous

[Thinkmymateisanob]

Very tongue in cheek but kind of not 👀

Me and my friend have been mates since childhood. Over 25 years, the rough with the smooth, through children/divorces/careers etc etc

Financially our lives are the complete opposite. It’s not an issue, she’s usually quite frugal but likes to spend money on experiences rather than things so if we go out to dinner and she chooses the restaurant she will pay. But next time I will pay and choose a restaurant I can afford. It works out well.

She goes on holiday 3 times a year with her family, abroad long haul and 3/4 short haul trips to Europe with various teens.

I haven’t been abroad for years. Not even France.

I live vicariously through her and she brings me lovely presents and sends nice pics.

Anyway - she’s just taken a teen abroad for a short holiday in Europe. All I’ve heard about is how awful her flights were as she had to fly economy as the planes got switched last minute. How awful it all was, how does anyone fly like this, she’s never flying economy again, she’s dreading the flight home.

I want to message her and say you’re being a twat, people have probably saved for months for those flights - pull your head out of your arse

She’s never usually like this. So I will forgive her but I’m just feeling unusually annoyed with her

She won’t read this because she hates social media and doesn’t use MN.

But just in case she does - I love you really M 👀

I think she's being very thoughtless complaining like that to you when you can't afford a holiday. Of course she "prefers business class because it's more comfortable." So would everyone I imagine. I have a similar friend who has complained about economy travel on the very few occasions she's had to slum it en route to her 5 star long haul holiday destinations. She knows I can't afford holidays right now. I roll my eyes inwardly but outwardly I make the right sympathetic noises. To all the people saying you're just jealous, well that's fine to be a bit jealous of friends going on holidays you can't afford. We're only human after all! Just roll your eyes, say "oh dear that does sound annoying" and then ignore her moaning! 🥰

Yes she’s being a twat to say that when she knows you can’t afford holidays at all. I can afford multiple holidays a year and I think she’s being a spoilt brat.

Yes it’s quite simple. So many here don’t seem to understand the concept though.

I'll go against the grain here and say yep I'd think she was a massive twat.

It's a little bit of both. She probably should consider her audience with that particular complaint.

Definitely not jealous, as it seems this has only just touched a nerve and if you were jealous this would have been apparent ages ago. I don't think she is pretentious, just demonstrating that she is very out of touch and lacking emotional intelligence.

I would just send her a message back humouring her saying how incredibly awful it is and recommend a weekend break at Pontins next time and save herself the hassle of flying. I have family like this too sadly - don't know they are born, haven't worked any harder than I have, just happened to be born in a more favourable decade for social mobility. You do wonder how they would cope with real hardship. Probably like a child!

I’m going against the grain here clearly but I think whinging about flying economy is gauche and tacky as fuck. Even if you’re whinging to someone else in the hallowed business class club.

Yeah I can understand her seething inside but I wouldn’t crow about my privilege to someone I knew couldn’t afford to go abroad at all.

One of my oldest friends is a SAHM and they are skint and haven’t been overseas since her kids were born. I travel a lot. I wouldn’t not mention it but I wouldn’t bitch about lack of comfort to someone I knew couldn’t afford it.

Your friend has no class.

I agree that you need to know your audience when you complain but presumably you can afford to go on holiday, like she does, but you choose not to by prioritising your spending money on other things.

It’s a bit of both isn’t it? You’re a little bit envious and she’s moaning when she’s got no right but tbf to her, everyone’s allowed to moan about a stressful situation, regardless of the circumstances, and you’re allowed to be jealous

I disagree, Economy is dire. No unlimited champagne, no complimentary hot meal, no free seat in the middle, no boarding and getting off the plane first. And NO LOUNGE BEFOREHAND where you can guzzle even more free champagne.

How do people do it?!?! 😉

She is NBU to be pissed off that she didn't get what she'd booked, but she really should know how to pick her audience to complain to, so no, YANBU about her behaviour.

Yabu but only a tad. She prioritises holidays so wants it to be special and perfect every time. She's allowed to complain and you're allowed to roll your eyes. I get where she is coming from our flight times have just been changed and it has annoyed me but I didn't moan to anyone except DH or friends who take loads of holidays themselves. Friends/acquaintances who can't afford a holiday this year I'd rather zip it around them.

Twat I'd say and no idea how many people live. Though if she flew BA then tell her that you've heard so many stories about how bad they have become, you are not surprised at her treatment.

As you say she’s never normally like this so I would presume she was irritated by an inconvenience and fancied moaning about it to her best mate… I wouldn’t be too bothered by it. If it was a regular occurrence then maybe!

Can you show me where you got that from?

‘whinging about flying economy is gauche and tacky as fuck. Even if you’re whinging to someone else in the hallowed business class club.’

Yes. There is something Hyacinth Bucket about people like this.

Tbf, this.

economy is cramped, everyone flies hand luggage only and brings frankly enormous suitcases on board so if you’re not in one of the earlier seating groups there is no space for your bags above your head. often the seat pitch is designed for midgets and all it takes is some dumbass in front of you to recline their seat and you can barely breathe.

Even on short flights of a couple of hours it’s annoying. The difference in boarding first, not having someone in the middle seat is what it’s all about short haul, getting given a drink and maybe a small meal is icing on the cake. Long haul I agree, it’s a whole other level of lovely.

ive not flown long haul business. Yet. One day.

if your friend has paid for business and got busted down to economy, she’s right to be pissed off.

service has deteriorated a lot over the past couple of years and the general public’s manners have deteriorated dramatically

stop begrudging your friend a moan, she’s entitled to feel stressed after what sounds like a crap journey. She’s not making a dig at you @Thinkmymateisanob

shes not even thinking about your travel choices, you could travel if you wanted to, it’s a case of saving up and finding ways to do it - if that’s what you want to do- you prioritise other things

I genuinely didn't know there was any other way to fly short hail to Europe than economy? I go to Europe several times a year, tui, jet2 etc they're all the same aren't they? What are these business class airlines or flights? And what makes it worth spending so much money for? free drink or a bit more space? It's only a couple of hours! I've also know celebs and footballers take the same flights (they've been seen, not that I know them!)

Economy short haul is more or less the same as business class. Only difference is two to a row (in the same seat) and a meal,
so she is pretentious.
long haul… if I’d paid for business class I’d expect business class.

We've all complained about a flight, but to a friend who we know can't currently afford to travel abroad and hasn't for years?

Nope.

She's been a bit of a dick here. If it's a one-off though and she just needed a vent then I'd ignore it, I think.

I agree with her, it is horrible and I’d rather not go to some places if I had to fly economy. I wouldn’t say it to anyone but my dh though, he is the same.

She’s your friend. Do you really want her to censor what she says to you? I wouldn’t

@catsnhats11 BA have business in European flights. The legroom is the same though but they block out the middle seat and put a little table on it. You also get priority check in, lounge, hot meal on board and unlimited alcohol.

Agree ^

Your a weird sounding mate. What's her life got anything to do with you. If she has the money to pay for first class seats then good on her and you should receive what you pay for. Sounds like you take her for granted. Stop being an arse and enjoy having a good friend like that