SAHM- DH wanting to give me ‘routines’ and ‘duties’

[SummerDuck]

So I’m a SAHM with DS1 (15), DS2 (9) and DD (3). DH works full time. He has recently started moaning about how I’m not doing enough around the house.

DD is at home full time other than being at nursery one day a week. I do most of the cooking, cleaning and general household admin. However, DH has said there is no not enough ‘output’. He therefore wants to introduce ‘routines’ and ‘duties’ whereby he will set out what needs to be done on a particular day and carry out checks upon returning from work.

So Monday will be garden day for example and the lawn will need to be mowed and leaves sweeped. Tuesday will be bathroom cleaning day and so on.

Is this level of micromanagement normal for SAHPs and should I just be grateful?

How have you managed to deduce (look it up) that I have no children?

I agree with this. Get back to work asap. Split the childcare and household duties between you.
Then laugh at him again for making such a twattish request 😂

Wow

What do you say to someone who really insults you?

They are things you set yourself. Like every Monday I'll do XYZ.
Not something someone else sets for you unless you're their employee
He's being a wanker

You may well be dyslexic, but you’re rude too.

Not hideous, I have my opinion based on my personal experience.

There was no personals attack.

If you can’t take a different opinion that’s your problem.

Absolutely nothing hideous is a different opinion

You mean the man is looking after the children while the wife is at work? Well it’s just as unreasonable to have lists and checks and routines for that unless it’s mutually agreed and the house has become an absolute dump.

Not rude, I have my personal experience.

if you find another persons personal experience to be rude then, you live in a bubble?

I was sham to 5 under 6’s with now family help.

Sham seems accurate, and winesalot also seems accurate.

So your opinion is that someone is useless to society because they were a bit sharp on your spelling? And you think that is ok?

Just no it is not normal, at all.

So he's basically designated himself your boss? Attractive! Just what a marriage needs to thrive!

‘Hideous’ is in the eye of the beholder. You came across very badly in your first post.

Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. After all, there’s - what did you say? - absolutely nothing hideous is a different opinion’.

OP - your DH is not your master. He doesn’t get to give out orders to you. Those times ended a long time ago.

OP the title of your post alone made me shudder.

I'll try to reply later when I've gotten over my gag reflex.

Meantime, ABSOLUTE NOT!

Who the fuck does he think he is.

Responses incredibly one-sided.

Isn't this what people suggest that women do for their husbands?

No offence but you can clean with a 3 year old. Give them an activity as you do it. People are really underestimating the time spent. I have a one year old and even with him I can fit in cleaning, cooking etc.

Clearly he has an issue with how the house is kept. Impossible to say whether he is being unreasonable as we can't see your house!

I’ve not voted because although it’s not a normal set up, it sounds as though you aren’t actually getting what needs to be done done and would benefit from some sort of structure.

Perhaps it would be easier on you to go back to work FT and then you can split all of the chores equally.

Time to cut down on the wine (a lot) I'd say!

Er, it was you who introduced the suggestion that she had no children - I think you combined that with calling her useless to society. I think you need to give your head a wobble because the only poster spouting ‘venom’ is you.

No it’s not normal. Where is your 3 yr old while you are doing the lawn mowing etc.
I’d seriously think about returning to work especially once dc 3 is at school.

Absolutely.

It does seem on those threads that posters feel working mothers with SAHDs can and should have higher expectations than the house isn't an uninhabitable hovel and the child is alive.

Fuck's sake! No, not normal at all. Your h should respect you as his equal, not be your manager!

Does he often have dd by himself? Does he know what childcare is like, plus looking after the house? If he doesn't, I suggest you educate him...

So you have nothing to contribute to the actual OP’s post but just main at mine because you think it comes across badly on a forum?

how do you function at work on in real life with or are you only on mumsnet? Or netmums?