To have told these pre-teens off in the park?

[peachesandsweets]

Right I maybe be being ABU... but I'm 39 weeks pregnant and my tolerance is minimal at best 😂

Waddled with DD (2 years old nearly) to a local park today. The park is fab, has a closed play area with what I'd consider to be younger children's equipment, and then outside on the field there's a large climbing frame, zip line etc etc.

Was about to let DD on the toddler slide when two pre-teen girls climbed up the slide onto the top of the equipment, effectively blocking it for anyone else - and started taking pictures and putting them on Instagram.

I tried to be patient but after 5 mins of this with my daughter patiently waiting I asked if the girls were planning on staying much longer, to be met with sniggers. I grabbed DD and lifted her off to something else, but grumpily said "these aren't for teenagers are they!" Very loudly.

What followed was these girls telling me repeatedly that they were only 12 and allowed in the park like everyone else.

In the end I just left because I felt like I was about to scream. But AIBU to think that if you're just sitting on your phone, or old enough to have Instagram - you can sit and be a teenager somewhere else!!??

They should have moved to let your DC use the slide but at 12, they are still children and allowed to use a playground...

YANBU. I wouldn't have cared about them being in the park but they were not using the slide for its intended purpose and they were stopping anyone else from using it too.

I feel sorry for 10+year olds, by the time they're old enough to go to the park by themselves they're too old.

YABU but only because you gave way to two 12 year old girls. I teach this age group. I'd have put my teacher voice on, said "excuse me DD is coming up to use the slide now" and started helping her up the stairs. I pretty much guarantee they'd have moved. I do it in various places every once in a while, like cinemas, trains etc and they've never once not complied.

Agreed.

im sure the OP isn't saying they can't be in the park at all but if they are not using the equipment and others are waiting them of course they should leave.

Being 12 doesn't mean they get to act like Muppets.

Obviously they are allowed in the park but should have taken turns, so allowed your child to use it.

I wouldn’t have waited 5 minutes in the first instance, just a breezy ‘DD wants to play now, thanks’. Muttering after the ‘defeat’ was pointless.

But forget about it now, it’s just one of those things. Older children in parks is a thing, and a lot of them are vile - these two just sound like future CFs!

Fine to ask them to give your DD a go, but you were being really mean to say it's not for teenagers (and to say it passive aggressively to your child loudly on purpose for them to hear).

The poor kids are at the age where they're too young to go very far alone. Would you prefer it if they hung around on residential streets? Or would you like them banned from all public spaces!

You backed down?? My toddler would have been on that slide whether those two little madams liked it or not! If they are old enough for Instagram then they are too bloody old for the play park - and that’s what I would have told them.

Whilst I get your frustration, 12 year olds are still kids. It's a lovely day, I'm not sure why you made a big deal of it.

You could have just asked them nicely, "hey girls, my LO would like to try this slide, would you mind moving or taking turns so she can use it?". Instead you were snotty with them, which they obviously just found funny.

Using the equipment... OK
Hogging the equipment blocking kids... not OK.

My 10&11yos love the park still. They wait their turn.

Well to be fair a play park suitable for an almost 2 year old isn't actually a suitable place for 12 year olds to hang out. I'm sure there were some benches or other areas surrounding the play area they could have used for their photoshoot.

They aren't old enough to be using Instagram. missespointofthreadentirely

Lucky, neighbor had 5 pre-teens (they screamed they couldn't be filmed on the pavement as they weren't even teens yet) sitting on his steps blocking his entrance to his house. He asked them to move while another neighbor filmed when one of the dears brandished a knife and asked if wanted to get hurt. I'm old but the youth these days seem feral!

Kids that age are always in our local park and I always tell them they need to share the equipment/watch the little kids/take their turn and move on etc.
After a while, if they know you will essentially parent them politely but constantly, they shift.

If you'd asked them nicely, I bet they would have moved...just an "excuse me girls, do you mind moving up a bit so my child can have a go"

I have a 12 year old and this was my first thought too!

Yes - I have absolutely no issue with 12 year olds or older kids using the park! It is a public space!!

My issue is with them sitting on equipment and being on their phones 😂

Agree with PP that I should have just been more firm - I'm not used to dealing with this age, god help me when I have teenagers

You would not have been unreasonable to tell them off or to move but you didn't. You just made a daft remark to your toddler.

As others have said a brisk 'excuse me girls, she wants a turn now' would have probably got you a sorry and them shifting out the way.

You don't have to start off firm, just 'excuse me, coming through ' would've have probably be fine.

You wouldn't have spoken to adults like that...most teens are quite nice if you speak to them nicely. I've seen some right grumpy looking ones who have been super polite if I've spoken to them nicely or said excuse me.

You should have just firmly asked them to make way to your child could go down it.

They are still children in a play park. They weren’t swearing and shouting and being a pain apart from hogging a bit of kit, which a firm excuse me tend to move those who just haven’t rubbed their brain cells together to realise they should be moving already.

The fact you decided to be all pa would have just given them something to laugh about with their friends over.

I had similar at the park with D's yesterday.
I said a cheery, "it's ok, I'm sure that the big boys will let you through. Say excuse me."
As I lifted DS up and plonked him at the top of the stairs.
They did indeed move, gave him a smile and were lovely with him.
I find that if you act as though you just expect them to be nice and do the right thing, they generally do.

Thanks all - yep, I do think being this pregnant is making me a bit of an arse! Noted to be nicer next time 😂

To be fair your 39 weeks pregnant with a nearly 2 year old, it's forgivable that your tolerance for this kind of low level nonsense is low.

Hopefully next time they see a small child patiently waiting their turn they might be a little less self centred and let them use the equipment for its intended purpose.