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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told these pre-teens off in the park?

147 replies

peachesandsweets · 01/06/2023 15:56

Right I maybe be being ABU... but I'm 39 weeks pregnant and my tolerance is minimal at best 😂

Waddled with DD (2 years old nearly) to a local park today. The park is fab, has a closed play area with what I'd consider to be younger children's equipment, and then outside on the field there's a large climbing frame, zip line etc etc.

Was about to let DD on the toddler slide when two pre-teen girls climbed up the slide onto the top of the equipment, effectively blocking it for anyone else - and started taking pictures and putting them on Instagram.

I tried to be patient but after 5 mins of this with my daughter patiently waiting I asked if the girls were planning on staying much longer, to be met with sniggers. I grabbed DD and lifted her off to something else, but grumpily said "these aren't for teenagers are they!" Very loudly.

What followed was these girls telling me repeatedly that they were only 12 and allowed in the park like everyone else.

In the end I just left because I felt like I was about to scream. But AIBU to think that if you're just sitting on your phone, or old enough to have Instagram - you can sit and be a teenager somewhere else!!??

OP posts:
fUNNYfACE36 · 02/06/2023 10:59

You stood there all pass agg for 5 minutes snd then spoke a bit shortly.why didn't upu just say straightaway with a big smile ' excuse me girls would you mind just letting dc through.Thank you so much!' No need to be so aggressive!

Iknowthis1 · 02/06/2023 11:07

"You stood there all pass agg for 5 minutes snd then spoke a bit shortly.whydidn't upu just say straightaway with a big smile ' excuse me girls would you mind just letting dcthrough.Thankyou so much!' No need to be so aggressive!"

That's exactly it. They're young girls playing. They're hardly a menace to society. You were rude.

LittleMrsPerfect · 02/06/2023 11:18

Not at all unreasonable, if teenagers are old enough to be hanging out without parental supervision they are too old for a kids park

fUNNYfACE36 · 02/06/2023 11:19

LittleMrsPerfect · 02/06/2023 11:18

Not at all unreasonable, if teenagers are old enough to be hanging out without parental supervision they are too old for a kids park

Says who?

innerspace · 02/06/2023 11:22

fUNNYfACE36 · 02/06/2023 11:19

Says who?

Show quote history

LittleMrsPerfect 😂😂

LittleMrsPerfect · 02/06/2023 11:22

If they aren’t using the equipment and just hanging out it’s unfair on the younger kids that actually want to use them. Annoys me so much, I don’t want to have to tell teenagers to move so that my baby can have a go on the swing or slide.

Iceicebabytoocold · 02/06/2023 11:32

YABU as you have come across rude and childish. A simple “excuse us ladies” would have sufficed. I would have sniggered at you too if you treated me like that.

drpet49 · 02/06/2023 11:32

takealettermsjones · 01/06/2023 15:59

YANBU. I wouldn't have cared about them being in the park but they were not using the slide for its intended purpose and they were stopping anyone else from using it too.

This

Ilovetea42 · 02/06/2023 11:39

Comedycook · 01/06/2023 15:58

They should have moved to let your DC use the slide but at 12, they are still children and allowed to use a playground...

This I think sums it up very well but I remember crying at that stage of pregnancy because I had too many socks in my sock drawer so I think you're allowed to be a bit shorter than usual!

caringcarer · 02/06/2023 12:08

BibbleandSqwauk · 01/06/2023 16:00

YABU but only because you gave way to two 12 year old girls. I teach this age group. I'd have put my teacher voice on, said "excuse me DD is coming up to use the slide now" and started helping her up the stairs. I pretty much guarantee they'd have moved. I do it in various places every once in a while, like cinemas, trains etc and they've never once not complied.

Yep, I'd have done this too. I taught secondary children for almost 25 years and you get used to how to handle teens to get them to oblige.

ASimpleLampoon · 02/06/2023 12:35

My DD is 11 and would have offered you to entertain your DD while you sat down!

If they are old enough to go to the park on their own they are old enough to be respectful to other people while there.

Nordicrain · 02/06/2023 16:25

Haywirecity · 02/06/2023 10:03

What is strange about the question, "Will you be much longer?" Seems a normal question to me. And it totally depends on the tone of her voice if it was passive aggressive or not. It sounds polite and friendly they way I say it.

Show quote history

It's indirect at best, and passive agressive at worst.

Be clear - would you mind moving over so DD can go on the slide please? Thansk girls! Done.

Bellaboo01 · 05/06/2023 09:04

LittleMrsPerfect · 02/06/2023 11:22

If they aren’t using the equipment and just hanging out it’s unfair on the younger kids that actually want to use them. Annoys me so much, I don’t want to have to tell teenagers to move so that my baby can have a go on the swing or slide.

Your 'baby' might be too young for a park to be honest.

I used to go to the playpark with my babies but, tbh - they didn't get much out of it before they were a toddler and able to go down a slide.

There is no-way i would be putting a baby in a swing or on a slide.

Teenagers: Someone between the age of 13 and 19. I wouldn't expect the majority of 19 year olds would want to go and play at a park. But, a 13 year old might. 12 isn't classed as a teenager btw!

LittleMrsPerfect · 05/06/2023 16:31

@Bellaboo01
why not, my DD has been using the swings aimce she could sit up. She is not too young as her age groip is exactly the reason they have the baby swings.

the park is bot a place for teenagers to hang out.

Bellaboo01 · 05/06/2023 16:40

LittleMrsPerfect · 05/06/2023 16:31

@Bellaboo01
why not, my DD has been using the swings aimce she could sit up. She is not too young as her age groip is exactly the reason they have the baby swings.

the park is bot a place for teenagers to hang out.

It is a place for ANYONE who wants to use it/hang out etc.

Most people consider a baby to be up to the age of a year and after that they are toddlers. Most teenagers aren't generally in a baby swing but, the slide - yes.

As i said i take my neighbours adult child to the part sometimes who has the best fun on the rides - are they too old? My elderly mother in law had a hysterical time on a roundabout/swing thing recently - is she too old?

They are a public place and ANYONE is entitled to use it and hang out there. It doesn't sound like the group of 12 year olds were being destructive to the equipment. They were simply taking pics of themselves.

Changes17 · 05/06/2023 16:47

When you have a pre-teen, in 10 years time, this will happen to your child and you'll feel a bit outraged by it too. Play equipment is generally for kids up to 12, then they have to find their own entertainment. TBH this kind of scenario only happened to my DD once, but she was a bit upset by it at the time. It's a learning experience.

Next time maybe do more of a 'hey girls, can you let this little one have a go' then you'll get them much more onside and 99% of the time of course they will let a toddler have a go.

Changes17 · 05/06/2023 17:06

But also, we can all remember being v pregnant and hormonal. I remember at a similar point being very rude to some lads holding open the doors of a cafe I was in because it was so cold. They thought it was hilarious, mind…

FortheBeautyoftheEarth · 05/06/2023 17:25

BibbleandSqwauk · 01/06/2023 16:00

YABU but only because you gave way to two 12 year old girls. I teach this age group. I'd have put my teacher voice on, said "excuse me DD is coming up to use the slide now" and started helping her up the stairs. I pretty much guarantee they'd have moved. I do it in various places every once in a while, like cinemas, trains etc and they've never once not complied.

Love it. Assertiveness 101.😀Always listen to the teacher.

Blueink · 14/08/2023 19:37

You didn’t handle the situation assertively OP and instead were passive aggressive and shamed them.

They were probably shocked as didn’t realise you were even waiting.

ssd · 14/08/2023 20:37

Your kid will be one of those 12 year olds one day op

waterrat · 14/08/2023 20:43

It's hard when you have a little one - I remember being in a smiliar scenario when pregnant with ratty toddler who couldn't wait

BUT - op one day your babies will be 11/ 12 and you will realise HOW LITTLE there is for them to do!

they were playing! you describe them as 'blocking' the play equipment - they were using it! Just not in the same way as your child.

they could have been a bit more considerate but please remember they are also children - what do you think they should be doing? they also like climing/ jumping/ swinging on things.

waterrat · 14/08/2023 20:45

Op the saddest thing you have said - is 'sit on instagram somewhere else' - I think its a bloody good thing they were in the park/ play area rather than just slumping about at home or on a bench

you could have said - hey sorry coming through - as others have said - rather than shamed them for enjoying being in a play park.

it's a fucked up society we live in where 12 year olds are unwelcome in playgrounds. They probably need it more than your toddler in all honesty! toddlers can potter about all over the place - teens spend hours on screens/indoors/ at school sitting down - they need to be more active and playful .

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