Or is Mansplaining getting worse?

[PaperwhiteTheGhost]

Filling up my car screen wash on my driveway. No hose or outside tap at the front so I'm using a big watering can.

Random man: you know that's a watering can right? It's for watering plants. You can put a nozzle on the end to make it sprinkle the water out.

Me: Umm. Yes. I do know.

RM: It's not actually for filling up the car.

Me: Yes. I know. I also use it in the garden.

RM: You can use a hose to fill up the car.

Me: I know, but I don't have an outside tap, so I used this to move water from inside my house to outside. Because its a water moving receptacle.

RM: It wasn't made for filling up the car though.

Me: ........

RM: Hurumpf.

And off he wanders.

I mean.... what!?

That's it. Some men just HAVE to say SOMETHING just to get attention from a woman, and to be seen speaking to a woman. I know a particular man who claims he gets on soooo much better with women. He doesn't. He pushes his conversation on them, and pushes his friendship on them. He even talks at length to female checkout operators, and tells sad and pathetic bad jokes, to try to make them laugh, but he barely glances at the male checkout operators.

He is super friendly with women, and does everything he can to make them his 'friend.' Offering to do stuff for them, like downloading stuff for them (off illegal websites) from Sky and Amazon so they can watch it (even when they haven't asked,) and even downloading random stuff HE likes but they haven't shown any interest in. Then he messages them and asks if they enjoyed it. He always offers to help women at work with ANY issue they're having to, (in the workplace,) even though he is not a union rep or supervisor or anything.

Most women start to give him a wide berth eventually, but a couple of women seem to just take the stuff and watch it and communicate with him, but they never ask him for anything, he offers all the time, and claims he gets on so much better with women. If he does, it's only because he pushes himself on them.

But yep, there are men like this. I feel sorry for his wife tbh. Been married 33 years, and he's always been the same. It would really piss me off tbh, if I was his wife. A couple of the women have got the wrong idea over the years, and thought he fancies them, and get annoyed when his wife turns up anywhere with him. He loves the attention, and loves having sooo many female 'friends' and also, yep, he loves to mansplain too. To women he knows AND women he has never met before.

Why? Did you reverse over him? 😀

I had a man stop and ask me for directions while I was locking my front door (so pretty obvious I know the area) and then when I told him he had gone too far and needed to go back the way he came, he told me I was wrong.

So I just wished him luck and walked off

As @1offnamechange said, my rule of thumb (so to speak,) is if you're a man, and you're thinking of doing anything to 'help' a woman - offering to change her tyre, offering advice on gardening, or her car, or 'letting' her go in front of you through the doorway, ask yourself 'would I do this for a man?' Like, these men who say 'smile luv' and 'cheer up!' Would they say it to a man? No they absolutely would not. So if you would NOT do the same/say the same if it was a man, then keep your words and thoughts and actions to yourself.

I don't want men to think they can't say anything, and even my DH says he struggles sometimes with saying the 'right' thing and not wanting to offend. But as a pp said, there's a difference between offering to help if someone is clearly struggling, and offering to help because you think they're too incompetent or stupid or weak to do it themselves.

I will offer to help ANYone who is struggling, whether disabled, able-bodied, male, female, young, middle aged, or senior or elderly......... if they look like they're struggling... If someone isn't struggling and is just getting on with something, then why do you need to 'offer' your help? Assuming someone can't do something - coz they're a woman, or coz they're 'a bit older' (or younger even!) is patronising and offensive. Sounds a bit dramatic but it is.

Maybe the PP who mentioned that women tend to be nice and accept the mansplantation for survival purposes is right.

Watching a TV cooking show a few years ago, about traditional French Epiphany cakes my own DH decided he to tell me the best way to make them. He has never cooked anything in his entire life except eggs, pasta and toast. OK so he is French, so what? I am an excellent cook and baker and have been making and serving them every year for 30+ years. My DH is a world champion mansplainer. But this time I refused to listen and would have none of it. Believe it or not this threw DH into a RAGE. I remained calm and held my ground until he actually threw a heavy wooden chair at me! He has never been verbally or physically abusive to me. We are now divorced....

No not really, should have. But be forewarned. Some men just cannot handle being contradicted by a woman.

Lol. 😂

Mansplaining and misogyny are rife and everywhere. I don't understand it at all. Where does it come form. Younger men are actually a lot better.
I work in construction and being a woman is an uphill struggle as you have to work twice as hard to be heard and the amount of people who've said to me, "do you have site manager / foreman I can speak to" when I'm perfectly capable of explaining what I need is incredible.

Slightly different scenario. DH and I went to PC world sometime ago (3-4 years ago,) as DH was looking for a smartphone. Never had one himself before, but had been using one at work for 2 or 3 years, and had used/messed about a bit on the smartphones our DC own.

Young bloke (around 19,) sauntered up to him, and said 'need help sir?' DH said he was OK but was just looking through the smartphones and would let him know if he needed help. Didn't leave though, and stuck to DH like glue. After a few minutes, he started 'youthsplaining' to DH, and saying 'this phone comes with 32 pre-installed apps. Have you heard of apps? It's short for applications. And it's a way of taking you to somewhere, like facebook or twitter or instagram. have you heard of them?'

It was 2019, and he was asking a middle aged man if he had heard of apps, and facebook and twitter and instagram. 😆 DH was not amused. He said 'of COURSE I know what apps are, and facebook and twitter and instagram - I haven't just moved here from Mars.' The young bloke said 'oh well I wasn't sure as some older people are unfamiliar with tech. Have you used a computer before sir?' DH was really annoyed now and said 'I was working in tech and with computers when your DAD was still in nappies! I DON'T need a lecture on tech, computers, and smartphones from someone who was sitting his GCSEs last year. It's literally my job!' Then DH walked off in disgust and hasn't been back since.

Just rude and presumptuous. To assume someone middle aged knew fuck all about tech/computers/smartphones. Our generation grew up using them at work, and have had one at home for a quarter century! (Since before this young man was born!) It's also rude and presumptuous to assume people older than middle age don't know stuff about tech/computers/smartphones too! My lovely 73 y.o. friend Anne has had a PC and the internet since 2005, and she had a smartphone 3 years before I did!

Not sure whether this qualifies as mansplaining but last weekend I went to fill my car up with petrol. Supermarket petrol station so several pence cheaper per litre and always attracts a bit of a queue. Problem was that only two pumps were working. One with left hand pumps and one with right hand pumps. My car's fuel filler is on the right and there was a huge queue to fill up on that side. Only one car at the other side so I naturally went to that side.

Thought nothing of it until I got out of the car to fill up and a bloke queuing on the other side shouts out his window, "you won't get that hose to stretch love. I tried last week". We'd got the same model car (SUV). I'd pulled a little forward so was only stretching the hose behind the car rather than over the top of it. I said nothing and pulled the hose round and filled up. He tried to say something about his car being bigger but it was literally the same model! I just rolled my eyes at him and carried on. Prat.

It's not hard.

Just ask yourself 'Would I say this to a man?'

Would I congratulate him on his parallel parking, lecture him on how to mow his lawn, advise him that he's filling his windscreen wash wrongly, admire his capacity to perform some ordinary daily task, tell him how to do his job, tell him to 'Smile, it might never happen'?

Exactly this, and that's what I said. Men need to ask themselves 'would I say this to a MAN?' If the answer is NO. Then STFU.

Mygrandadwasmywingman should either have challenged the new starter or mentioned the constant annoyance to his line manager if he has been there less than 1/2hr.

Why keep saying "I know", rather than tell him that it is not his position to tell you how to do your job?

You're using pre mixed screen wash. Mine comes in a tiny bottle and you then add water. So, screen wash straight from bottle, water from a big jug from the kitchen (not a hose)

Tbf there has been cases where the airbag has forced the badge to be embedded into the skin apparently. I take mine off now, it gave me the heebies.

Ah cheers. Thatll be why.

In fairness some Horseboxes require less physical strength to drive them than others and some are more suitable for shorter people than others

I got my own back! Kind of! I woman-splained!

Months ago, I was camping with my family and a car near us was struggling to start. 7 men were fiddling around under the bonnet trying to get it started shouting out suggestions of what was wrong with it.

I tried. I tried my best to stay away and not interfere but them trying to crank the engine was painful to watch and hear.

I wandered over to ask if they need a hand and they looked at me as though I was an inept alien or something. “Nah we’ve got this babe” one said. LOL. So I stayed and said the car sounds like it’s got air in the fuel line. They said that can’t happen. I said they need to prime the fuel pump. Apparently their car (same as mine!) doesn’t have a primer. One man (car owner) let me touch the car whereby I primed his fuel lines and voila, car started. The guy who told me the car doesn’t have a primer asked me what I did. I took delight in telling him that I primed the fuel rails with the primer. The little black button on the fuel filter housing unit. 🙄 You pump it! Warming to me, asked what I think the issue was, I told them …. Air in the fuel line! Diesels hate air. Used the most simple language I could to patronise the little idiot (idiot because he thought he knew better). Anyway, car owner was really nice unlike his friend so I fixed his car. They were all saying how great it is to have female mechanics and how lucky they were I was there! I took the best delight in saying “oh I’m not a mechanic, everyone knows this stuff, I’m a lawyer”. (Granddad was a mechanic and I’m a car enthusiast).

Anyway it felt gooooood. Especially as I get mansplained to so often.

It's not just about your intention in offering help or whatever though is it. The person you're offering help to doesn't know that in any other situation you'd offer help to anyone, and some people do assume you're only doing it because they're a woman.

I am a good climber, an instructor, and approachable, in the climbing wall I get asked for help by lots of people, sometimes I offer help but I don't offer to help women I don't know as often because it's been misinterpreted (understandably I might add, because there's loads of men who only help women, often in really unhelpful ways) a few times.

I once broke down on the motorway, pulled over onto the hard shoulder, put on hazards, got out of the car and stood behind the barrier, then called green flag. So clearly I knew what I was doing. A man actually stopped behind me to tell me I had broken down. Not to help, or ask if I'd managed to call anyone, but just to let me know. Then he carried on his merry way.

Bloody hell. What is the matter with people?

You're quite right if he would do the same with a man, but they never do.

I am yet to see a random man approach another man and tell them what to do. OP also stated several times that she was happy with what she was doing and instead of respecting that, he walked off in a huff.

Literally none of his business, she didn't ask for 'help'.

Also, the 'right answer' was to tell him to piss off and get on with his own day instead of pestering her.

What is wrong with people.

The clicker stopped working on my car. Clearly needed a new battery. I mentioned to DH I was popping out to get the battery replaced.

DH insisted on taking the keys and pointing them at my car in a more manly way. He tried 3 times to make the clicker work, including shaking it, tapping it against his manly hand, and staring at it. He then conceded that key did not work and needed a new battery.

In fairness he did look at me sheepishly and said, "sorry, I really did just do that didn't I?"

That's someone's child

Omfg!😅

Me too! Thanks OP 😁