Or is Mansplaining getting worse?

[PaperwhiteTheGhost]

Filling up my car screen wash on my driveway. No hose or outside tap at the front so I'm using a big watering can.

Random man: you know that's a watering can right? It's for watering plants. You can put a nozzle on the end to make it sprinkle the water out.

Me: Umm. Yes. I do know.

RM: It's not actually for filling up the car.

Me: Yes. I know. I also use it in the garden.

RM: You can use a hose to fill up the car.

Me: I know, but I don't have an outside tap, so I used this to move water from inside my house to outside. Because its a water moving receptacle.

RM: It wasn't made for filling up the car though.

Me: ........

RM: Hurumpf.

And off he wanders.

I mean.... what!?

I get a fair amount of childsplaining from my teenagers. Am training them not to be adultsplainers...

Where I live if you use tap water then within a couple of weeks you can't see out your windscreen. I only ever use screen wash

I had pretty much that exact scenario from a complete stranger who sat down next to me on a park bench when I was bottle-feeding my very new DS (and, incidentally, very, very disappointed that I hadn't been able to BF, because I never developed a supply, despite all possible advice and effort).

To add to the surrealism, he told me he was a newly-arrived asylum seeker (can't remember from where), and that all women in his home country breastfed, without exception, including his wife and his sisters and his cousins. I was too tired and raw to tell him to fuck off back home so, because whatever war, danger or human rights abuses he was fleeing from was clearly more than compensated for by all those breastfeeding women.

I should say I am absolutely in favour of fairer treatment for migrants, and have volunteered for charities who help them, but I was so enraged when I thought about it afterwards, I wanted to call the HO and tell them to deport him immediately because he was a wanker.

I'm just struggling to imagine showing up in another country from a traumatic situation and deciding to pontificate to total strangers. Maybe it was his way of feeling at home.

Hoses have their uses though for which sometimes no alternative is applicable. Some years ago I left my then teen daughter in charge while I went away for a few days, all the usual instructions including please remember to water the little patio tomato plant I had lovingly grown from seed and which sat on a small garden table outside the back door. I came home. The plant was dead. Why hadn’t it been watered? Apparently the day after I left a hosepipe ban was announced.

I’m astonishing the amount of women in this post who can’t end a conversation they don’t want to have. Why do you keep engaging in multiple questions?

the moment a man or anyone else wants to carry on talking something that I’m not interested I just smile, nod and stop engaging! The person gets the message quickly and no one is rude, hurt or complaining about “mansplaining/womanplaning”.

And I say woman because I’m from abroad and I had a few situations where WOMEN tried to explaining me obvious stuff like I came from a war zone with no water.

smile, nod and stop engaging. Is it that hard? It screams insecurity to me, you all need to end the conversation saying “I worked in such such industry therefore I know”. Jesus wept.

I have a mansplainer at work. What's worse is that he explains things that I have just told him!

I've started saying yes, that's exactly what I just said.

Sometimes he gets it wrong and I have to explain to him all over again...and then he mansplains it to me! I know! I told you!

Why though?

It's a very very easy rule of thumb
If they'd be happy either doing it to a man or having another man do it to them it's not mansplaining and usually not inappropriate - it might still be annoying/pedantic/unneeded but that's fine, everyone has those types of interactions with others at some point regardless of sex

If someone would hold a door open for whoever was coming behind them just because its a nice thing to do, then of course its not patronising. If they'd only hold it for a woman then it is because there isn't any rationale other than they think women are weaker! It's also just a bit of a dick move to let a door swing shut in another guys face!

The same applies to unwanted touching - like when men put their hand on the small of your back or waist when going past you or to move you out of their way then get all sad pikachu face because "obviously it's nothing sexual" - ok well then would you put your hand on a young male colleagues waist? Almost definitely not,therefore it's unnecessary and inappropriate.

If a man would and does compliment his male colleague on a new haircut/shirt then it's fine to do so for a female colleague. If however they are concerned it would seem "gay" or "weird" to do so because to them polite conpliment = sexual interest, then don't do it to women either!

There really doesn't need to be any angst over it -just the age old concept of "treat others how you'd like to be treated". If you'd be offended by someone telling you how to do something very basic like fill up your car don't tell others!

The problem could be that - me being man - I shouldnt tell you that if your car doesnt have a spare wheel it would have a compressor and tyre sealent in its place so you wouldnt be fucked?
🙃

Yep, really weird that he felt the need to mention it at all.

I guess you can use whatever you want to fill the screen wash....

Is it mansplaining if I say I wouldn't personally use anything that could introduce debris and block the nozzles?

Common and garden mansplaining at work the other week. Woman, senior in her field gives presentation. Ends. Any questions? Question is asked, she answers clearly and succinctly.

man sat next her ‘Id just like to add…” and repeats what she’s just said in a much more long-winded, rambling and boring way. Sits back looking infuriatingly self satisfied that he’s wasted 5 minutes of everyone’s life cleared that up for everyone.

sigh

Bit rude.

Interaction with mansplanner recently:
man appears with a small step ladder while I'm cutting the hedge. I stare, saying nothing.
Man "here you go, now you can cut the top".
Me "I have a full sized ladder. And I don't want to cut the top".
Man "well I think you should"
Me "well I'm not going to"
Man snatches ladder angrily and walks away calling me a rude cow.
I live on a very small dead end street and he wasn't a neighbour. No idea where he came from.

Aaaargh! I had one of those when I'd gone back to my car in a car park & it wouldn't start. I tried everything I could think of & was about to call the RAC out, when an older man wandered over & told me a method for getting it started. I said, "Thanks, but I've already tried that & it didn't work, so I'm going to call the RAC."

I expected him to be content with that & BUGGER OFF.

He didn't. He just repeated what he'd said before. I said what I'd said before & he still wouldn't give up. He told me AGAIN to do this thing. I thought maybe if I just did it, he would leave. So I did it while he watched; obviously it didn't work but he seemed happy then & wandered away, while I called the RAC.

I've just had the days of the week explained to me
"Tuesday" he said
"So not tomorrow, or Monday. Tuesday"

Me

You shouldn't have entertained him. Why women are scared to outright ignore people.

@Heartbreaktuna - that ladder story is f*cking hilarious! I mean really 😂

I love these, ridiculous reality.

When I worked in catering, we had a new starter (male), I’d been there for about a year. My job that day was to make lunch for the care home residents. New starter proceeds to show me how to make a sandwich, I didn’t ask for help or anything, just swaggers over and begins explanation.

He tells me I need to be extra careful of the sandwich knife and to hold it the right way round or I could cut my hand.

Him: ‘you should do it like this’ and then slices his own hand open

Me: pissed because he’s got blood everywhere I have to get clean equipment and make new sandwiches

Thanks Ryan 👍

ThatLaddo I had the opposite of mansplaining then as my car had one of those tubes and an inflator. We got a puncture, I phoned the AAA (in the US), the gentleman came out, we opened the trunk and
Me: (looks at tube and inflator)
Gentleman: (looks at tube and inflator)
Me: I don't know what to do with this
Gentleman: I'm repairing the puncture because I'm not messing with that thing.

I think sometimes a bloke will talk nonsense to a random woman just because it means he's talking to a woman, or being useful. It's why they talk bilge: there is nothing helpful to be said, but they want to say something.

I know this doesn't cover all mansplaining, but I think it explains some of it.

He’s not a mansplainer - he’s just a child who clearly has some difficulties with social communication. Please don’t be mean to him - that’s someone’s child.

Am I the only one who pours screenwash straight from the screen wash bottle? People decant it?

I agree with @TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed this lad in the case of @Mygrandadwasmywingman is a child. He is 16. He's school age! No-one mansplains at 16! PMSL!