Or is Mansplaining getting worse?

[PaperwhiteTheGhost]

Filling up my car screen wash on my driveway. No hose or outside tap at the front so I'm using a big watering can.

Random man: you know that's a watering can right? It's for watering plants. You can put a nozzle on the end to make it sprinkle the water out.

Me: Umm. Yes. I do know.

RM: It's not actually for filling up the car.

Me: Yes. I know. I also use it in the garden.

RM: You can use a hose to fill up the car.

Me: I know, but I don't have an outside tap, so I used this to move water from inside my house to outside. Because its a water moving receptacle.

RM: It wasn't made for filling up the car though.

Me: ........

RM: Hurumpf.

And off he wanders.

I mean.... what!?

The chart a PP posted pretty much concludes that unless a woman has asked, it's mansplaining.

I think that is covered in the chart by following the path for do you have more relevant experience and did you ask if help was needed

My brother tried to mansplain feminism to me recently. That didn't go very well

When my son was 16 - so obviously knew everything about everything and had just learned about the Greenham common protests he decided to explain to my mum what the women were protesting about.

My mum was one of the protesters 🙄🤣

The example you gave was "struggling" to lift something though. If someone is obviously struggling to do something then asking if they need help is fine. If they are simply getting on with doing something and they arent struggling, why on earth would you need to ask them? If I see my next door neighbour mowing his lawn and he isnt struggling, why on earth would I go up and ask him if he needs any help? Therefore, in my opinion, the chart is correct.

Obviously, if someone is struggling to lift something and it looks like they are going to drop it, I'd offer to help anyone with that.

I took my car for a service recently, and went into the garage office to pay. I got my bank card out, and the conversation went like this:-

man - you should get a banking app so you can pay with your phone

me - that’s not really my thing, my phone is quite old, bit short on memory/storage, I don’t want any more apps than I absolutely need

man - it’s really easy, let me check your phone is new enough (grabs phone), yes it would work on this

me - yeah but I don’t want to use the storage, and I’m happy to use my bank card

man - it’s really handy if you ever come out without any money

me - if I know I’ll need money I always bring my purse

man - it would be great for you, for when you go out in a hurry and get half way to town then remember you left your hand bag at home

me - ha ha hmmm yeah ha ha maybe, but I’m happy as I am

man - it’s really easy to do etc etc

FFS I’m a middle aged professional and I reckon I know my own mind, and can remember to take money out with me when I need it. But of course I never said that, I just smiled lamely and let him waffle on (it’s my regular garage so can’t afford to fall out with them). It all just feels like a stupid game that we women play .

Why... did you reverse over him?

(Justified by the way).

I have a neighbour who likes to mansplain every bloody thing I do. It might be feeding my ducks, weeding my borders or growing cauliflowers. He's never done it, but he knows how I should be doing it.

I just say "Noted" and carry on.

I go with 'Let me stop you there' before they've finished the first sentence.

😆

@PaperwhiteTheGhost YANBU what an annoying random mansplaining oik!

Reminds me... I was looking for some glue in Wilkos the other week - to fix a lovely garden ornament that my fucking evil bastard cat had knocked over and broken a bit off - and I was pondering 'loctite' or 'gorilla glue.'

A man decided to tap me on the shoulder, and lecture me on the various glues, including wood glue, bostick, PVA glue, loctite, polyurethane glue, gorilla glue etc, and telling me they are all different. He asked me what I was needing it for, so he could advise me on what I needed.

I realised after a minute that he was NOT a member of staff (which I wouldn't have minded QUITE as much tbf,) but he was just some rando about 5-10 years older than me, mansplaining glues. I am still irked about it. Twat. 😆

My garden is visible from the street and I get comments like 'should you be doing that?' when I'm gardening.

I told him I was fine ta, and knew exactly what I needed.

😂

Waiting to cross the road, with my two teenage DC, with good visibility both ways, a man called across from other side asking if we needed his help to cross the road 😆 We said no, we all knew how to cross thanks. Idiot.

My neighbour first of all asked me if I was breastfeeding and when I said no not only got strangely angry with me but also then mansplained it (It's feeding the baby your own milk I hear) and told me all about how his DILs stuck with it because they truly cared about their babies.

He's a bit of a dick generally though.

I recently went camping on my own for the first time which apparently brings the mansplainers out in force. Did I realise I need to peg the tent town, did I know how the SIM worked, did I know how my stove worked. Hmmm yes thanks, I’ve used them all many times before.

My favourite thought was a random man telling me how brave he thought I was for getting on with my life despite being single and alone. Not really mansplaining but pretty patronising.

I am in the garden a LOT in summer, and do 90% of it, as I love it and DH hates it which is fortunate! But at LEAST once a week, I get a MAN saying 'Shouldn't your husband be doing that?' and 'you need to water that a bit more' and 'you need to cut this back a bit more...' etc..... ! SO many unsolicited and unwanted opinions, and it gets past the stage of 'banter,' and rolls over into misogyny. One even said when DH was at the car and I was weeding 'got her doing your jobs for you have you?' (Bit rude towards DH too actually!)

One time, this man (about my age within 5 years,) said when I was planting some bedding plants 'shouldn't you be cooking his tea?' I said 'I am doing the gardening, and my husband is cooking tea. Bet that's blown your mind hasn't it?' 😆

He just sort of looked like > and walked off. I think he was firstly not sure if I was offended or not, or whether I was being sarcastic or not, AND he was very confused as to why DH was doing WOMENS WORK and why me, little ladypoos was doing MENS WORK. Fuck me It's 2023 and this was a man born probably in the early 1970s. He was not born in Victorian times. Batshit!

I wonder whether it’s actually a “Notice me! Notice me!” activity by men. And a need to feel valued and of use.

My Dad does it to me all the time: he knows I’m not the most practical of people but does have a tendency to lecture on something whether I need it or not (the lawn mower being the latest thing). But I know that he does it out of kindness and wanting me to do well.

However, I get extremely irked (and that is an understatement - read “apoplectic”) by random men commenting on anything I’m doing, but I do think it’s to do with acknowledging their existence whilst all we want to do is get on with our trouble free day!

I don't know if it's where I live, or whether I exude something or something else entirely but I honestly don't think I've been subjected to mansplaining.
I live with my son so many of the jobs I see the men doing (car stuff, putting out the pins, heavy garden work, taking the car to the garage) is done by me.

Brilliant!

Ah OK, yes that makes sense.

I do sometimes feel that men are going to be fearful of ever talking to a woman or just being polite (holding a door open) lest it be regarded as mansplaining or patronising.

Once I was trying to get up an icy hill in the car, and a man came along and made me wind the window down to tell me to put it in second gear to stop the wheels slipping. He then looked at the gear stick, saw it was already in second gear and said "well done" as if he was my driving teacher. I can't imagine that happening between two men.

This guy, though, telling you what a hose is, sounds like maybe he has learning difficulties and is sharing information that he's proud of knowing.

By most people's comments my garden is amazing. It's my sanctuary and took years to get it looking like it does on a difficult site (it's very steep with heavy clay acidic soil.) I open it to the public to raise funds for a charity each year.
I recently told a neighbour where to stick his advice. His garden is the biggest mess on the street, not some beautiful wild meadow just a jungle full of crap. He didn't seem impressed when I said it looked like he needed to sort his own out before coming and telling me what to do. It's always a man...

I am a teacher, so it is literally my job to correct students. I'm also male. But it was still awkward when a female student used the term "mansplaining" incorrectly, and I felt that I had to say something!

Just envious he can't think practically