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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think hen parties are ridiculous shite?

163 replies

Bowbowbo · 31/05/2023 09:33

Ok I’m 60 so my experience of the current generation’s hen parties is via my DDs and their friends, but - what the hell? Complicated, expensive, time-consuming, anxiety-inducing excuses for displays of passive agression, selfishness and unkindness, and that’s just in the planning stages! Surely grown women have better things to do?

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 31/05/2023 14:25

IWonderWhereThatDishDidGo · 31/05/2023 10:00

I hate the forced fun and mandatory boozing.

My hen was meant to be a night in with casual (not let's get fucked up) cocktails, chocolate fountain and 90s TV. I also wanted my brother and male best friend there. It was all going great till the surprise limo showed up to take us all clubbing 🙄😂. Not at all what I wanted and it's really annoying that some people assume that's essential if you're on a hen.

It hasn't got anything to do what gender the guests are though. I had men there too and wasn't happy with the clubbing but enjoyed everything up until then

I wouldn't have got into the limo, let those who'd ordered it go clubbing, how dare they ruin your hen night. I've always said the same about balloons etc when I've been taken out for a birthday meal, any 'surprise' is not welcome at all and I don't care who I upset in not being bullied onto their plans.

nobodysdaughternow · 31/05/2023 14:29

Pre-wedding celebrations tend towards the expensive.

This notion of 'you only do it once' puts a tonne of pressure on people to attend.

I had a very nice hen weekend because my friend let us all stay over at hers and we went out dancing and drinking. I have really lovely friends.

gogohmm · 31/05/2023 15:02

I find that them hilariously stupid. In particular women my side of 40 prancing around town in sashes and matching clothes/hats/accessories acting loud and obnoxious at 3pm - yes I'm thinking of a particular group of 40 & 50 somethings in Bath last week! Bath is near me, was lovely in lock down without tour groups and hens, now it's overrun with both every weekend. Grow up basically!

MargotBamborough · 31/05/2023 15:05

gogohmm · 31/05/2023 15:02

I find that them hilariously stupid. In particular women my side of 40 prancing around town in sashes and matching clothes/hats/accessories acting loud and obnoxious at 3pm - yes I'm thinking of a particular group of 40 & 50 somethings in Bath last week! Bath is near me, was lovely in lock down without tour groups and hens, now it's overrun with both every weekend. Grow up basically!

What's wrong with women over 40 enjoying themselves with their friends?

gogohmm · 31/05/2023 15:06

@Sissynova

I have an even lower regard for stags, they are often worse when you come across them,fortunately Bath isn't a big stay destination so I'm not able to do a direct comparison of how obnoxious they are in broad daylight.

AutumnCrow · 31/05/2023 15:10

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2023 12:04

"I didn’t bother with a hen when I married as I was literally too busy with my career to spend any time on anything except turning up to the wedding and going on a month long honeymoon"

A month off work is a massive luxury most people couldn't have.

A month off work is a massive luxury most people couldn't have.

That's because they've blown all their money on hen parties.

Heartofglass12345 · 31/05/2023 15:17

I was pregnant when I got married, my hen was an Indian buffet restaurant and it was lush lol.
When my friend got married she had a meal in a pub so that her older relatives could come and then we went on a pub crawl in a nearby town.
They don't need to cost a fortune and are mostly ridiculous!

lurchermummy · 31/05/2023 15:30

Mine was great we went to Centerparcs and had a real laugh.

wingingit1987 · 31/05/2023 17:56

LuckySantangelo35 · 31/05/2023 11:59

@wingingit1987

why do you hate the idea of a weekend away with anyone other than your husband and kids?

I just don’t enjoy it- I’ve been away with friends, my sisters etc before but I don’t like being away with people. My own household I can cope with- I don’t know if it’s because I’m used to being around them for full days at a time.

MrsKeats · 31/05/2023 21:31

Recently got back from a fabulous hen do in Lisbon. So right miserable people on here.

fyn · 31/05/2023 21:37

I went on a lovely one recently, friends lake house, paddle boarding and a meal at the local pub. None of the things you describe at all!

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/06/2023 19:32

Beezknees · Yesterday 10:29
Not my experience of hen parties. I went to one last year for my cousin and it was brilliant, we all had a great laugh. Some of you must keep terrible company.”

I sort of did when I was younger, but inadvertently. I’ll explain.

I Was invited to the hen night and wedding of a delightful girl from work. Was touched, we’d never really socialised outside of a quick drink with everyone after work but I thought she was lovely.

It was in the days of The Chippendales, etc., and the occasion took place at a large social club on the Isle of Dogs.

Oh my! I didn’t know what the show was and spent most of it with my mouth open. Thank god I wasn’t in the front few rows because, honestly, one of the performers may well have tried to shove something in it. I’d never seen anything like it or felt so out of place. I was 22 at the time, my colleague younger and she seemed as shell shocked as I.

Survived the ordeal, excused myself as soon as I politely could and taxied home.

She was so embarrassed at work on Monday morning. Her Auntie had organised the evening (made sense, would say the majority of the audience were older women) and she had no idea what would unfold.

Her wedding (which she, fiancé and parents had arranged) was beautiful.

Maverick9797 · 11/11/2023 18:11

I am a bloke who is getting married next year so I hope you don't mind me giving my view?
I'm not having a Stag do, despite being put under lots of pressure to do so.

My fiancee is going to London for 2 nights and it's gonna cost in the region of £700 . In her defence, she is paying for it so it has nothing to do with me.
Her family and friends make a big deal out of Hen do's but personally, I struggle to see the attraction?
I can't see why people need to travel hundreds of miles to celebrate , weeks or months before the wedding?
I want to celebrate my wedding with all my friends present, on the day I get married,
I am probably in the minority but that's just how I feel.

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