Bill-splitting

[Clemsie]

Five of us had dinner last night - two couples and myself (I’m a single parent). At the end when the bill arrived, one of the couples declared that the bill would be split three ways. I’m not sure how it made sense that a bill for a party of five was split three ways but was too embarrassed to say anything. As a result I’m £20 out of pocket. AIBU to think that the bill should not
have been split three ways? Also, should I just stay quiet about the £20 and never go out with them again? What is the correct bill-splitting etiquette in this situation?

Dear all - had a lovely time last night, but now that I had time to reflect - why would I pay twice as much as everyone else?
could you therefore please send me the difference?

Woe not wow. £20 is FA seriously I don’t understand the issue

That's really shitty and thoughtless of them. And pretty thick too!

I would say something, send a message as suggested, YANBU at all.

Very shitty. I'm amazed that none of the 4 people spoke up to say that's obviously unfair on you. I definitely would have if I were there.

You really don't understand the issue?

I have a feeling that may be a regular occurrence for you.

20 pounds is not FA for most people. It could be one or two hours of work (after tax). It's like working for free for one or two hours for the sake of some scrounger friends, who imo, clearly knew what they were doing unless completely drunk. I would make them pick up your tab next time and say they owe you.

It the principle of it though isn’t it? And they are supposed to be friends. They don’t sound like very good friends to the OP though.

You can't whinge about this

You should have spoken up

Not surprised op hasn't been back. Some of these replies are horrible.

Not everyone is assertive, and it seems op wanted avoid an awkward situation. I assume op can also afford to pay for her own food, so why should she miss out on an evening out?

Live and learn. You will know for next time op.

Completely wrong unless you are double a normal person. You should have spoken up.

I don't understand this bill splitting business. Whenever I go out with a group of family or friends I only pay for what I have.
Unfortunately you always get some CF who will have starters, mains and desserts and loads of drinks and I'm not paying for their meal. I stopped all that bill splitting shit years ago.
Lesson learned abandon the £20 you lost but in future make it clear you're only paying for what you have there will be no bill splitting. You can ask for pen and paper or take some with you and f*ck em😁

She already said she was shy so she didn't say anything ( and obviously regrets it ). Why beat someone when they are down?

I can't believe all these people saying that £20 is a trivial amount and FA. I mean we're fairly comfortably off but I still think £20 is a lot. Have people forgotten we're in the midst of a cost of living crisis and many people are struggling to pay their bills and buy food? There are a lot of people who have less than £20 left over each week. Some of these comments are completely insensitive.

Can you send a message now just saying that you realized when you left that you ended up paying double what each of them paid and see what they say

Should of been divided by 5 and worked out accordingly.

I wouldn’t end friendships over it if you really like their company but chalk it up to a lesson learnt.

@Attractedtotheofflimits well that’s a bit daft isn’t it.

That is really nasty of them. Didn't any of the others say that wasn't fair? They are not your friends, OP.

Very unfair of them. I’m sure they knew what they were doing. That’s very basic math!

Anyway, too late really to say anything now. You didn’t have to be embarrassed to speak up at the time, probably more embarrassing to not say anything.

Depends on how close you are as to whether you want to see them again.

So you wouldn't go out for dinner with someone that might have had to save for say a few weeks or whatever to pay for it?

I can’t understand how you let this fly? It’s one thing if perhaps it’s a taxi and someone suggests paying per stop of the taxi (though still unfair in my book). But this is ridiculous. There’s no argument at all for paying per “household”. They just basically asked you to sub them.

I can’t see what on Earth their justification was, especially as being single comes with so many extra costs already.

i don’t think you can bring it up now though.

I think you got off lightly if it was only an extr £20. If you didn’t say anything straight away let it go, you’ll just look stupid bringing it up now.

PMSL at all the people saying it's no big deal - they are the metaphorical couples in the scenario.

OP, please learn how to be more assertive. I'm sure there must be you tube video tutorials and so on. Not only is it costing you money on meals out, if you act the same way with insurance companies and your employers it is likely to have already cost you thousands of pounds.

You should have spoken up at time. Either let’s split 5 ways or let’s each pay for our own. I wouldn’t contact them now.

I always ask for my own bill. I don't drink. I was getting shafted when we split the bill. I'm not paying a fortune for others to get passed while I'm drinking coke.

Whomever suggested it was either stupid and/or tight. And same for the others in the couple's. It's plainly OBVIOUS the bill should have not been split in 3.